*trigger warning*
I woke up from the dream. It was so vivid.... so real. Mitch clung to me and I pried him off. He mumbled and turned the other way. Typical Mitch.
I ran into my bathroom and shut the door. My face was a mess in the mirror and I had dark circles under my eyes. I recalled my dream and the memories of it came up.
Who do I really love? Avi has been there for me.... Mitch has made one move and we haven't even been on a proper date. Avi was so slow and Mitch was fast. Avi actually made me like him and Mitch sort of forced me to. Avi...... he's probably heart broken.
I walked out of the bathroom and wrote Mitch a note that I was going to the store. I left it on my pillow. The clothes I was wearing were okay for now. Avi had put his address on his contact so I put it in my maps.
I grabbed my car keys from beside my front door and walked outside. The weather was nicer so I decided not to wear a jacket. I usually forget a jacket everywhere I went anyways. The car was warm enough so I decided not to turn on the heat. The keys easily turned and the ignition sprang to life.
Avi's house was far away so I decided to listen to Broadway Showtunes. A few catchy tunes came on and I sang them the whole way there. Many people were staring at me and giving me weird looks but honestly, I really didn't care. The car ride was fun by myself and I was having a good time.
About, 45 minutes later I arrived at Avi's house. It was far away but it was totally worth it. Through the entire car ride of thinking and singing, I finally now understood that Mitch never truly loved me and I was proud of myself for realizing that he never did.
Avi's house was a beige color with white bricks and it looked really nice. My keys turned and the ignition died. I grabbed my phone and ran up to the door. It took a lot of courage to even think about ringing the doorbell but I finally did. A few minutes later, Esther appeared in the doorway. Once she saw me she tried to close to the door. A placed my hand on the door.
"Esther please! I want to apologize! I want to make everything better, I realized that I am a true jerk and I want him to know that I know that! I fucked up but it was a mistake and I can explain everything." She stuck her head out the door frame.
"One chance, Rush. One chance, that's all you get! If he doesn't want you here you leave immediately, okay?" I nodded and she opened the door for me. I walked into the house and pictures of Avi and Esther as children flooded my vision. Avi was so adorable and Esther was too. A few family pictures were here and there, also a few of their parents wedding photos. I smiled to myself. So, this is what family goals are huh?
Esther maneuvered me through countless hallways to reach Avi's room but we finally did. All that stood in-between us was a wooden door and a sign. The sign read 'No People Allowed... Unless you bring the gift of barbecue, then welcome!' I laughed a little at the sign and turned towards Esther and hugged her. It took her awhile to hug me back but she did.
"Thank you Esther.... for the second chance.... it really means a lot to me." I smiled against her. She patted my back.
She let go and let out a small smile. "Bre just please.... make him happy again." I nodded and she walked off in the other direction. Good thing Esther sort of forgave me, if she didn't I would never be happy again.
I knocked on the door. When I twisted the door knob, a low mysterious creak echoed off of Avis walls. "Avi..... are you in here?" I switched on the light switch next to the door. A bright light recoiled off the walls and I could see. There was no Avi in sight.
Observing his room, I saw that the bathroom door was open and the light was on. A few white circular objects laid outside the bathroom door. Weird. I went to take a closer look and they were pills. Oh my god... pills and no response... that could only mean one thing.
My heart started to race and my head started to throb as I made my way to the bathroom door. Once I looked inside I saw the most horrific sight. Water was all over the floor and pills were scattered everywhere. The mirror was fogged up and it showed signs of a recent shower. Aftershave was a clear smell in the air and it smelled really good. But, the horrific thing was that a man in a suit was passed out on the floor. It wasn't just any man in a suit, it was Avi.
My knees shattered against the wet bathroom tile and my heart ached. Avi.... no... this isn't happening! It's probably just another dream right?? I pinched myself, definitely not a dream. I cringed and tears flooded my vision.
There was a letter in his hands that were folded nicely over his chest and I picked it up and opened it. It took awhile because my hands were shaking in fear and I had no courage to but I finally did.The letter was written in beautiful cursive.
Dearest Loved Ones,
I find no point to be on this Earth anymore. The one I loved has moved on, I promised to be strong but I tried and look where I am. Many people will miss me but there really was no point. Without her, my life seemed like it was over and I still think it will be, even after this occurrence. I will always love her regardless of whom she loves. I have already made myself presentable for my funeral so you all wouldn't have to go through the pain of doing it yourselves. In heaven I still will be your barbecue loving bass.
With Love From Heaven,
Avriel Benjamin Kaplan
I dropped the letter on the watery floor. At that time it didn't occur to me it was ink and it was bleeding. Really though who can think straight when their best friend is passed out or even dead on their bathroom floor? My chest ached and tears spilled through my eyes. I pulled Avi onto my lap and cried. This can't be happening.
"Avi wake up! Come on! I know you're just sleeping, come on wake up! We can go to the beach, or to a movie, or what ever you want! Just please wake up!" I cried into his chest. I screamed for Esther and she came into an instant.
"Holy shit....." She started to cry and called 911. She was screaming at them to come faster and she was having a mental breakdown.
I held Avi close to my chest and my tears flowed into his cheeks. "Please Avriel! I love you! That's right I love you! Just wake up please! You were right... Mitch wasn't the one for me... you were! I realized it! Just please babe! Wake up!" I squeezed him close to me. My rib cage hurt so much from the constant sobs.
"Please..." I moaned into his chest. "I want you here..... with me... I love you...."
