Echoes of the Past

Chapter 7

That night, James and I made love for the first time in what felt like forever. As we lay together afterward, his arms wrapped around me, I tried to focus on the warmth of his embrace, the comfort of being close to him again. But my mind wouldn't stop racing. Cole's kiss kept playing on a loop in my head, and I couldn't shake the questions that came with it.

Why had he done it? Did he really want me? Was James right all along? And the hardest question of all—what did I want?

I turned my head slightly to look at James, who was already asleep beside me. His face was relaxed, and peaceful, and I felt a pang of guilt twist in my chest. I wondered if I really loved him the way I should. I loved James, but was I in love with him?

The problem was that after losing Eric, it had been so hard to open my heart again. Eric had set a high standard, and no one seemed to measure up, not even James. As much as I tried to convince myself that James could be that person, there was always a part of me that knew he would never be at the same level.

But with Cole, it was different, and that terrified me.

I sighed softly, careful not to wake James, and stared up at the ceiling. The butterflies I felt when I was around Cole, the way my heart raced whenever he so much as glanced in my direction—those feelings weren't supposed to happen, not with him. And certainly not when I was married to someone else.

Maybe it was because of everything I'd been through. Maybe mature love didn't resemble the intense, dizzying infatuations of youth. But if that were true, why did my body feel like it was on fire whenever I saw Cole? Why couldn't my heart find a steady rhythm when he was near?

I closed my eyes, trying to push the thoughts away, but they wouldn't leave me. The truth was too hard to ignore. I feared the pull I felt toward Cole, the fatal attraction that seemed to grow stronger every day. And though I hated to admit it, I had never felt so drawn to someone in my life—not even to Eric.

I tried to reason with myself, to make sense of what I was feeling. But all I could do was lie there, tangled in confusion and guilt, wishing I could stop the flood of emotions that Cole had stirred up inside me.

Suddenly, James shifted beside me, mumbling something in his sleep, and I froze. His arm tightened around me, pulling me closer, and I felt a wave of shame wash over me. How could I be lying here next to my husband, thinking about another man?

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself, and closed my eyes again, forcing myself to focus on James. This was where I belonged. This was the man I'd chosen. And I couldn't let anything—or anyone—come between us.

But even as I made that vow to myself, I knew it wouldn't be easy. Because no matter how hard I tried to deny it, Cole was always there, lurking in the back of my mind, making my heart race in a way that I couldn't control.

And I wasn't sure what I was going to do about it.

In the days that followed, I stuck to my promise—I avoided Cole as much as possible. Whenever I dropped the boys off at his place, I stayed in the car, keeping my distance. Cole didn't try to approach me either; he just watched from afar, a sadness in his eyes that I couldn't ignore.

But destiny seemed to keep on playing jokes on me. I was out running errands when I ran into Cole at the mall. My heart skipped a beat as I looked at him, and all my efforts to keep him out of my mind suddenly felt so futile.  It felt strange seeing Cole after the kiss we shared. But he acted as if nothing had happened, greeting me casually, with no mention of the kiss or the intensity of the moment we had shared. He smiled at me and suggested we grab a coffee together. I hesitated for a moment but found myself agreeing. We settled into a small café, and it felt almost too easy to slip back into a familiar rhythm with him.