Echoes of the Past

Chapter 21

James's POV

I stood outside Emily's house, staring at the closed door, feeling the chill of the Saturday night air seep into my bones. I had just come from visiting Ava's boys, and the silence of their acceptance had left a heavy weight on my heart. They didn't ask me anything about Ava, whether I found her or not, and I couldn't tell if they had simply given up or if they were just trying to cope in their own way. I knew they missed her, but seeing them like that—so resigned—made me feel lonelier than ever.

I didn't know what to do with myself, so I found myself here, at Emily's. I knocked on the door and waited, shoving my hands into my pockets. Moments later, I saw her silhouette in the upstairs window, and then she leaned out, her hair wrapped in a towel, her face flushed.

"It's me, James," I called up, feeling a bit foolish. I should have called first.

She looked surprised, and maybe a little unsettled. "Oh... James... uh, wait a moment, I'm coming."

I waited on the doorstep, wondering if I had disturbed her. She seemed flustered, not quite herself. A few minutes later, the door opened, and there she was, standing in just her nightgown, the thin fabric clinging to her damp skin.

"Hey," she said, her voice a little breathless. "I wasn't expecting you."

"Yeah, sorry. I should have called. Are the kids here?"

"No," she said quickly. "They're sleeping over at their friends' house. I was... uh... having a bath."

She stepped aside, motioning for me to come in. I hesitated for a moment, sensing something off, but eventually, I walked in. She kept glancing around, fidgeting, her eyes darting nervously as if she was expecting something... or someone.

"Are you alone?" I asked, the question slipping out before I could stop myself.

"Yes. Why?" She blinked, her expression suddenly guarded.

"I don't know... you just look... strange." I shrugged, trying to brush off the feeling. "Maybe I should go and leave you alone."

"No, don't," she said quickly, almost too quickly. "Sit down. I'll make us some coffee."

I took a seat on the sofa, rubbing the back of my neck, trying to shake the unease that hung between us. She returned with two cups of coffee and sat down beside me, closer than I expected.

"So," she said, her voice soft as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "how are you?"

I stared at my coffee, feeling the warmth of the cup seep into my cold fingers. "I feel lonely," I admitted, surprised at how easy it was to say it out loud.

She leaned closer, her body brushing against mine, and looked at me with an intensity I hadn't seen in a long time. "So you came to me. Does that mean you're finally ready to let go of the past?"

I hesitated, not sure what to say. Emily and I had a complicated history, tied up with so many regrets and mistakes. "I don't know, Emily... it's just that I'm so tired of this situation. Everything's a mess."

She moved closer, her nightgown parting slightly as she shifted, revealing a glimpse of her bare skin underneath. She slid onto my lap, her warmth pressing against me, and I didn't push her away. I didn't stop her when she touched my face, running her fingers along my jaw, tracing the lines of my weariness. She leaned in and kissed me softly, her lips familiar, and for a moment, I let myself kiss her back. It felt like falling into something dangerous but comforting, like sinking into a place I knew I shouldn't be.

"This is a mistake," I murmured against her lips, my breath ragged, but my hands betrayed me, still holding her close.

"Oh, I don't think so," she whispered, her voice laced with a seductive confidence that both excited and terrified me. She took my hand and guided it beneath her nightgown, placing it against her warm, soft skin. My fingers grazed her breast, and I felt a rush of conflicting emotions—lust, guilt, anger, and a desperate need to feel something other than pain.