Echoes of the Past

Chapter 17

Ava's POV

The next few days were some of the hardest of my life. I couldn't even look at Cole. Every time I saw him, my mind would race back to that night, to everything that had happened. I kept thinking about it, turning it over and over in my head, trying to make sense of it all. How could I have been so blind? So naïve? It wasn't my fault, I kept telling myself. I didn't know, I wasn't aware. But that didn't make it any easier to bear. I had betrayed Eric. I had slept with his brother twice, and now, as I looked at my children's photo—Eliah and Ethan—I couldn't shake the horrible thought that they might not even be Eric's.

The weight of that possibility crushed me. It wasn't just the act itself that killed me; it was the fact that Eric might have known. He had always been so gentle, so understanding, but now, in hindsight, some of the things he said, some of the looks he gave me—they made sense in a way they hadn't before. He knew. He must have known, or at least suspected. And yet, he never confronted me about it. He never even hinted that he knew.

I couldn't understand it. Why didn't he say anything? Was it because he truly believed that I wasn't aware of what had happened? That I had done it unconsciously? Maybe he thought I was innocent, that I had been fooled somehow, tricked into sleeping with Cole. The thought made me sick to my stomach. How could I have been so stupid, so unaware of the man I was with? But then again, Cole and Eric were identical twins, and in the dark... I shuddered at the memory.

But what about Cole? Eric might have believed in my innocence, but he couldn't have said the same about his brother. Cole knew exactly what he was doing. He knew it was wrong, and yet he went through with it anyway. And Eric... he knew and never said anything. He never confronted Cole, never told him off. Why? That question haunted me, keeping me awake at night, my mind spiraling into darker and darker places.

I wished more than anything that I could talk to my mother. She always seemed to know more than she let on. There was a knowing look in her eyes, a guardedness that made me wonder if she knew the truth. Maybe she had suspected something all along, or maybe Eric had confided in her. I didn't know, but I was certain she knew more than what she had told me.

But how could I ask her? I wasn't even sure that I'd see her again. What if I'll be trapped here forever until I die? 

I found myself avoiding Cole, dodging his attempts to talk to me, to reach out. I couldn't face him. What if he didn't feel guilty at all? What if, in his mind, he had done nothing wrong? The thought terrified me.

But I couldn't avoid him forever. The tension between us was growing, and I knew that sooner or later, we would have to talk. I just didn't know if I could handle it. My emotions were too raw, too tangled. I didn't trust myself to keep it together, to not lash out at him, to not say something I would regret.

And then there were the children. My beautiful boys, who looked so much like their father. Or was it their uncle? I couldn't tell anymore. Every time I looked at their photo, my heart broke a little more. They were innocent in all of this, but they were the living proof of my betrayal, of the lies and secrets that  I carried without knowing.

That morning Cole broke the silence that had stretched between us for days. His voice was quiet, almost hesitant as if he was afraid of what my answer might be. "Will you ever talk to me again?" he asked, his eyes searching mine.

I felt a knot tighten in my chest, the weight of everything that had happened between us pressing down on me. 

"I know I've messed up big time," Cole continued, his voice cracking slightly with the strain of his emotions. "But I can't change the past, Ava. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness."