"It gets better"

Chapter 3

I woke up the next morning, rain drops hitting the window, the cloudy dark sky dulled my room, making me feel even more depressed than I was.

I walked out of my room , the door slamming behind me, I walked into the main room, where everyone was sat, some at the board game table, playing games, some on the bean bags watching tv, some reading, etc, I picked up a book from the shelf then sat at a table by myself, I slammed the book on the desk, I leaned back in the chair staring at everyone around the room, all looking like there enjoying themselves, how could anyone like this place, my eyes then travelled to roisin, who was sitting with Lillian , she was already staring at me with a stern look, she rolled her eyes then looked away, I looked at Lillian, who was comforting roisin, she then looked at me, a calmer look than roisin, almost like she felt sorry for me, then she looked back at roisin, I stood up quickly, my chair screeching on the floor loudly.

I stormed over to there table " I don't know what I did to you roisin but your have to seriously get over it, it's childish" I said, she looked up at me in disbelief "get over it, GET OVER IT?-" she screamed then standing up, eye level with me now. "I WONT GET OVER IT, MY MOM IS DEAD AND I DIDNT GET TO SAY GOOD BYE, BECAUSE OF THIS- THIS SHITHOLE" she shouted, everyone stared at us, I looked around, the back at roisin "IM SORRY BUT ITS NOT LIKE ITS MY FAULT ROISIN" I shouted back, her jaw dropped open, she rushed over to me , pushing me to the ground "YOU BITCH" she shouted again, slapping me twice in the face, tears started to fall from her eyes, she cried, slapping my face and my arms over and over, I felt horrible, so horrible that I just let it happen, nurses rushed over, pulling her arms "GET OFF OF ME" she screeched , waving her arms trying to get out, the nurses dragged her out of the room, you could still hear her shouting, then it just stopped.

I get up, fixing my clothes, I looked over at Lillian who was standing up with her hands cupping her mouth, she dropped her hands, then locked eyes with me, " how could you..." she said, rushing out of the room , I guess to try and find roisin.

I stood there still, looking around the room, as everyone stare back at me, in shock and disbelief,I ran out of the room and into my room, slamming the door.

Shortly after a nurse came into my room, she stood in the doorway staring at me firmly "an appointment with the hospitals therapist has been set up for you, it's today at 6pm just after tea time, you must go" she said , then closing the door, I watched the time tick away on the clock that was mounted to the wall, 12.......1.......2........3.......4...the last hour before tea felt like a life time, then finally I heard the speakers "TEA TIME, PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS IN THE CAFETERIA AND WAIT FOR YOUR NAME TO BE CALLED" , I got up from my bed and walked to the cafeteria, I ate my food by myself, I noticed Lillian, who was sat at the usual table, by herself, the food on her plate was never touched, no one was there to cheer her on, to force her, I tried not to stare at her for I while as I didn't want her to notice but I felt so bad, when I finished my tea, I took my dirty plate to the washer and made my way over to Lillian, I stood there hovering above her, I knew she knew I was there but she didn't take any notice, "Uhm...Lillian" I said, quietly, she didn't say anything or even acknowledge me "I just wanted to say Uhm im really sorry-"I began saying, being interrupted by her loud sigh, "a- and...everything" I said....not a word again.

"SADIE" a woman shouted, I whipped round to face a nurse, " it's time I take you to your therapy session" she said smiling, she began walking off so I followed her.

Down long corridors, and rooms I have never seen, then finally we were there, she opened the door and I was greeted with a woman sitting in a chair, in a worm cozy looking room, photos of the beach plastered everywhere, I walk in slowly and the door slammed behind me, I turned around , the nurse was gone, I sat down in the chair opposite from the lady.

I know how these things go , I was used to it, I slouch down into the chair waiting or what bullshit was going to come out of her mouth.

"What happened" she spoke, softly, almost like my mother before things turned, it instantly made me feel calm, I broke down, tears leaking out of my eyes like an abandoned leaking pipe, almost bursting, "I ..I don't know I, I just feel so helpless and my dad ..he- he abandoned me and he hates me and I just know that he is disappointed in me for getting put here , I did this..I did this" I burst, sobbing , I flung my head into my hands,but the pitch blackness that was created by the shields of my cold hands weren't going to get rid of anything, I lifted my head back up and faced the councillor, "I fought with my friend....but it was too late when I realised how horrible of a person I became, and now she's taken away because of something I said" I sighed letting it out, the councillors mouth just opened before shutting it quickly , confused of the loud sirens that just came out of the speakers in the hospital, she stood up, her face shocked,I stood up too, staring at her , worried I instantly knew something was up "what's going on...." No answer "WHATS HAPPENING?" I shouted, she looked at me slowly, almost scared in a way "that's the..the suicide alarm." She said , her hands went to her mouth in shock, she ran out of the room, leaving me, I didn't waste any time , I ran out, back up to the main area of the hospital, frantically searching around , all the people in my ward , scared and shocked, running around trying to find out who it was, "WHO IS IT?" I screamed, in my heart, deep down , in the dark depths of my soul, I knew who it was.

Tears soaked my sore , nearly dry eyes again.

"LILLIAN?" I screamed seeing her across the room, and down a hallway , she was screaming, crying, she fell to her knees, I stopped in my path " NO , NO OH GOD NO" I ran over to Lillian hugging her, she screeched, staring into one of the rooms infornt of us, my eyes left Lillian , and to the horror, I looked up , into the room infront, it was roisin room, and roisin was there, hanging from the ceiling, her wrists cut and a bloody plastic knife lay under her on the floor,I look back up, her mouth open, rope cuts around the rope that strangled her neck, I stood up, "NO! OH GOD NO OH MY" my heart starts beating fast, and everything gets brighter, my hands shake, and I can't stop crying, roisin was dead, and gone forever.

Because of me.

Sorry this is a short chapter, I wanted to leave it on a bit of a cliffhanger ! 💖💫