- Belle's pov -
I look up at the board in history class and write what I need to write down. The bell goes and I feel relief wash over me, I grab my stuff and walk out the room; seeing Jess across the hallway and I walk towards her.
"Hey bitch" I say and she looks at me "hi bae" she responds and links my arm. We walk into the cafeteria to get some food and when we walk out I see 4 new boys.
"Jess, look" I say pointing over the hall at the new boys and I see her face light up. "Come on, let's go sit with them" I laugh at her and follow close behind. The guys look, familiar?
We get there and Jess sits next to a boy with long brown hair who is sat next to a boy with short blondish hair. I sit on the opposite side to even it out, a boy with long black hair is next to me then next to him is a boy with dreads.
I smile at the boy next to me "hi, I'm Belle and this is Jess" I say looking over at Jess as the boys introduce themselves.
"So, we are going to the park after school today. If you guys wanted to join?" Jess says and Bill quickly replies "we'd love too!" I smile and nod. "Cool, here is my number incase we don't see you guys again today" I say pulling my phone out the side of my bra.
Me and Bill exchange numbers and I see Tom looking over at me, an unreadable expression on his face and I smile at him. Causing him to look away instantly. Weird.
~
Later that day me and Jess are getting ready to go to the park at her house; and Bill rings me. "Hello" I say into the phone. "Hey, Belle we are all ready to go when you guys are"
I smile, "yeh, do you guys know how to get there?" I ask "yeh, Georg's house is a couple streets away so we seen it on the way back from school. We'll set off now"
"Okay! See you there bitch" I say as I put the phone down and raise my eyebrows at Jess, "let's goooo" I say and jump up.
We get to park after 15 minutes and I see the guys stood under a tree and we run over "hey" I say calmly and Jess waves. "So, do you guys smoke?" Gustav says out of no where and I laugh.
"Yeh, do you guys?" I ask and they all nod. We all go to sit on a picnic bench and I sigh. "It's freezing tonight" I say and Jess looks at me "I told you to put a jacket on".
I roll my eyes "whatever" I smile and see Tom pull out a cigarette from his pocket, putting it to his lips and lighting it.
I smile at him after he takes a few drags; he takes it out his mouth and hands it over to me "want some?" he offers and I nod, taking it out his hand "thank you" I say as I take a couple drags and give him it back.
He instantly puts it back to his lips, locking his eyes onto mine "you want my jacket?" He questions as he breathes smoke out. I smile and nod "if you don't mind"
I whisper as he takes off his zip up hoodie and hands it to me and I put it on "thank you"
~
We sit there for quite a while, just talking and getting to know each other. Me and tom share the odd glance, he's really cool and not to mention he's hot. After around 2 hours of just talking Jess stands up and holds her hand out for mine "let's go to the store." I smile and nod "yeh, let's go"
Everyone gets up and me and Jess skip down the road, hand in hand. I hear the boys laughing about something and we stop to get into their conversation when I realise it isn't in English. Mine and Jesses eyes lock.
"What language is that?" Jess says, sounding almost concerned and I can't help but giggle at her. "German" they say pretty much in sync and my eyes widen "you guys are German?"
They nod and I smile "my dad is German." I see Georges head shoot to look at me and I furrow my eyebrows but don't say anything. "What's your last name again?" He questions and I pause then tell him.
His face is telling me that he knows something I don't, but he doesn't say anything so I don't push it. Weird. I turn to Jess with a look on my face telling her to save me and she links my arm, dragging me towards the store and she begins to sing and I laugh.
They boys seem to lighten up again and bill joins us in our sing along.
~
(T.W, e.d, family issues)
At around 10 we all start to walk home. We say goodbye at the points where we are no longer walking the same way and I walk the long way around the block, anything to keep me out of that house for even a second longer.
I walk through the front door, seeing my dad sat on the couch watching some German show. I sigh and slowly close the door, locking it behind me. "Hi dad" I whisper as I peep my head into the living room "I'm home". He doesn't respond.
He's blank. Ever since momma died that's all he's been, it's almost been a year and he still has barely said a word. "Love you" I whisper and walk up the stairs and into my room. I sit on the edge of my bed and the sudden warmth of the house is making my cold finger tips tingle.
I stare at my fingers as they blur in and out of focus. I haven't ate today, and I don't plan too, I want to be pretty like momma was.
I stand up and walk to my window, sitting on the ledge and lighting a cigarette and inhaling the smoke. The burn hits the back of my throat and flows down to my lungs and back out, I smoke half of it then my head begins to spin. Shit.
I quickly throw my cigarette out into the street after putting it out in my ashtray; momma would have gone crazy if she knew I smoked, but dad doesn't care. He doesn't care about anything anymore.
I grab my water bottle and take sips of it, the heaviness off my body slowly recovering. I look around my dark room, everything in this stupid house reminds me of her. I want her back, I want my momma.
She would have noticed. She would have noticed the weight loss and the smell of alcohol and different drugs that follow me home. She would have noticed it all. And she would have helped me.
I stand up and walk into the bathroom and run the shower, I sit in the bottom and stare down at the tiles. How can I go from being so happy to the lowest I've ever felt. This house drags me down, it makes me a bad person.
I'm fine until I walk through that front door.
~
Eventually I wash my hair and body and get out, I lap my body in moisturiser and slide into my pyjamas. Before crawling into bed I look at the small printed photo of me and momma on the wall; it was took the day she died. I let a tear slide down my cheek and I lean to kiss the photograph.
"Goodnight momma, I love you" I whisper and my heart grows heavier. My body feels as though it's closing in on its self. I don't know whether it's the nicotine and no food effect on my body or the sadness.
I crawl into bed and close my eyes.
~
Authors Note:
Hi :), I know this is really sad sorry. I hope you really enjoyed it.
