Tying the knot... or not?

~6~

All the fight seemed to drain right out of her and her shoulders slumped. 'Lula told you?' she asked quietly, her brows drawing together and her chin dropping an inch or two.
'Accidentally,' he said, folding his arms.
She shrugged, but maintained eye contact. 'Yeah, well, it didn't seem to matter since it wasn't a real relationship. Who cares if I've told a little white lie to keep myself protected?'
He dropped his arms to his sides as his heart gave a weird stutter in his chest. 'I care.'
She took a deliberate step forward and stared at him defiantly, seeming to come back to life. 'Why?'
He stared back, his thoughts lost in memories: of them together, here at the house; of his irritation with her for being so pushy and forcing him to the edge of his comfort zone; of him not being able to stop himself from touching her; then more recently of aching like crazy to get back the compelling camaraderie that had developed between them despite his best efforts to keep himself aloof from her.
Dropping his gaze to her mouth, he was surprised to see that her lower lip was trembling.
He stared at it, unable to look away.
In a trance, he raised his hand and brushed the pad of his thumb over her lip, feeling her open her mouth a fraction under the pressure of his touch, then the gentle, slick sweep of her tongue as she ran it against the tip.
Heat flared through his body and he jerked his hand away from her and looked into her eyes, seeing the same hunger he was feeling reflected right back at him. And then suddenly he was kissing her, and all the anger and passion and pain that he'd kept in check for so long poured out of him and into the connection their mouths made. Except it was more than just kissing. He wanted her to feel him in every way possible, to bind with every molecule of her.
She kissed him back, winding her arms around his back and pressing herself tightly against his body. Her lips were soft and warm against his and he slipped his tongue into her mouth to taste the sweetness of her, revelling in the relief of finally allowing himself the pleasure.
She pulled back to stare at him, her eyes wide and stunned. 'You kissed me!'
'I did,' he muttered, going in for another kiss, feeling a yearning ache to connect with her again.
'But you don't kiss women you don't care about,' she murmured against his mouth.
He growled low in his throat. 'Shut up, Emily, okay? Just shut up.'
And then he kissed her hard again, owning her mouth with his, taking what he wanted from her. And she let him. But it wasn't enough - he wanted more.
Backing her against the desk in the middle of the room, he ran his hands down the sides of her dress, bunching the silky material in his hands and hoisting it upwards until he found the hem. Pushing her back, he forced her to sit on the desk, pushing her legs apart so he could stand between them and slide his hand between her thighs, up to the apex of her legs to find the barrier of her knickers.
She wasn't wearing any.
'What is it with you and no underwear?' he groaned, feeling his erection pressing hard against the constricting material of his trousers.
'They were ruining the line of my dress,' she muttered, her voice harsh with lust.
She gasped and moaned low in her throat as he teased his fingers against her, then slid them into her slick, waiting warmth, glancing his thumb over her clit as he went.
He kissed her again and felt her grab for the button on his trousers, popping it open without much effort and sliding down the zip so she could get her hand into his boxers and free his cock from the prison of his trousers.
He swore under his breath as her firm touch encircled the hard length of him and he pushed into her grip, desperate for her to relieve the almost painful ache of his arousal. Their kissing was fierce now, uncontrolled and messy. They rocked against each other, both gasping air into their lungs, their bodies moving closer and closer together.
He felt her fumble at her side with her other hand, then release her hold on him while she opened up the bag she'd been carrying to rummage around inside it.
Pulling away from her in protest at the loss of her touch, he realised she had a condom in her hand.
'I see you were prepared for this happening,' he muttered, sliding his hand from between her thighs as unease began to penetrate through the haze of lust.
'I'm always ready for anything,' she said, and grabbed hold of him again, stroking up and down his hard shaft, giving a little twist at the end which had him sucking a harsh breath in through his teeth.
So what if she carried condoms? he asked himself as lust won him over again. If she hadn't things would be slowing down right now instead of heating up. He should be grateful, because now he'd allowed himself to leap over the line, he really didn't want to have to turn back.
Groaning low in his throat, he grabbed the condom from her and tore it open, then slid back out of her hold so he could sheath himself with fumbling fingers.
Once he was satisfied with the fit, he recaptured her mouth and leaned over her, steadying himself against the desk with one hand as he guided himself into her with the other. She gasped as he pushed deep, and he felt her open up to take his length.
And then he began to thrust, unable to control the urge to move, keep moving, keep feeling. And she encouraged him, leaning back and pulling him with her.
Bracing himself against the table, he pounded inside her, hard and fast, pushing her higher up the smooth surface, and she wrapped her legs around his back and clung on, riding the movement with him.
Squeezing his eyes shut, he let himself go, giving her everything he had until he heard her cry out with relief, felt her shudder and twitch beneath him, and then he came hard, rushing into her with a force he hadn't realised was possible.
Pressing himself deep into her, he allowed the pleasure to take him over, holding him suspended in an electric fever that he wanted to go on forever.
But it didn't. Slowly the feeling subsided and he became aware of Emily crushed beneath him, his still remarkably hard cock lying heavy inside her.
Drawing back slowly, he heard her give a deep exhalation of breath and raised his head to look at her, not entirely sure what sort of a reaction he was going to get.
She was beaming at him, her eyes wide and punch-drunk, her mouth red from his rough kisses.
'Well,' she said, pushing herself up to a sitting position. 'That was unexpected.'
'Yeah.'
He ran a hand over his hair, shoving it back out of his eyes and turning away from her to remove the condom and redress himself. He swore soundly under his breath, astounded with himself for giving in to his base urges so easily when he'd been doing so well to resist her up until this point.
When he turned back, she'd pulled the skirt of her dress down to cover herself again and was eyeing him warily. 'Don't worry - I'm on the pill as well, so there's very little chance of any accidents happening. I always use two types of protection, just in case.'
He shot up an eyebrow. 'You're that worried about getting pregnant?'
'I'm not the sort of person who should have kids,' she said flatly.
'Why not?' he asked, frowning.
She shrugged but didn't meet his eye. 'I'm too selfish.'
The false levity in her voice disturbed him. 'That's not how Lula paints you.'
She looked up to meet his gaze, her expression guarded. 'So Lula let slip about my mum not being dead, huh?'
'Yes.'
She sighed. 'Look, I'm sorry I lied, but I didn't think I needed to tell you the truth. You didn't seem very interested in really getting to know me. And I was worried it might have an impact on our deal and possibly ruin our chances of having Lula's wedding here.' She swiped a hand in the air. 'Anyway, it doesn't matter since I'll be completely out of your life in about a week.'
His stomach clenched with disquiet, but he shook it off. He didn't want to think about what it would be like never to see her again.
Moving to sit down on the desk next to her, he turned to recapture eye contact. 'What won't matter, Emily? What's going on with your mother?'
Her eyes widened in surprise. 'Lula didn't tell you?'
'No. She wouldn't say any more. She said to ask you,' he said, beginning to worry about what she might be about to tell him - especially after what they'd just done.
She took a breath. 'My mum's in a psychiatric hospital.'
He stared at her in surprise. That wasn't at all what he'd been expecting her to say. 'Why?' he managed to get out eventually.
'She has severe cyclical bipolar disorder. She gets violent and tries to hurt other people. And herself.'
'Why would you feel you had to hide that from me?'
She let out a snort. 'I don't know. Maybe I'm worried you'll think I'm like that too?'
He blinked. 'Are you worried that you are?'
She didn't answer him - just stared down at the floor.
'Surely, you'd know by now if you were bipolar?' he asked, feeling a shot of unease at trying to discuss a subject he knew nothing about.
She shrugged. 'I get this feeling bubbling up in me some days - like I'm walking on the edge of something dangerous. It scares me.'
He swiped a hand across his forehead. 'Hell, we all feel like we're walking a fine line between sanity and madness some days.'
She glanced over and gave him a crooked smile. 'Yeah. I know that. I don't seriously think I have it.'
There was an awkward pause and she slid off the table and smoothed down her dress and hair. 'Anyway, now you know,' she said, with a hint of challenge in her voice.
They stared at each other again. The strange tension was making him jumpy. He had no clue what she must be thinking.
'Look, I should get back to the wedding before Lula wonders where I am,' she said abruptly, making a move towards the door.
'Yes, of course.'
He watched her as she turned the lock to let herself out.
'Listen...' he said, making a quick decision before she could disappear.
As she'd pointed out, they'd only be in each other's lives for another week or two, and it would be stupid not to take advantage of their mutual attraction now they'd crossed the line. It would just be sex. He felt pretty sure now that she would be okay with that. He certainly was.
'I'm staying in the guest house tonight, so one of Lula's guests can use my room. Come over later - after the reception finishes.'
She turned back to face him, her expression curiously blank, not giving him any clues as to how she felt about his suggestion.
'It doesn't matter what time,' he said, keeping his tone nonchalant and breezy. He raised a provocative eyebrow. 'You still owe me two orgasms, remember? Then we're even.'
To his relief she broke into a wide grin. 'Sure. Okay. I'll be there.'
He smiled back. 'See you later, Emily.'
As soon as she felt it was late enough that she could excuse herself from the wedding party Emily went in search of Lula, her body humming with excitement at the thought of getting up close and personal with Theo again.
The sex had been amazing - totally unexpected, but all the better for it - and she wanted more of it. Lots more. His constant rejection of her had been something that had tainted everything she'd done recently, and she was relieved at the idea of the world being set back to rights so things could go back to normal.
Finally finding Lula, tipsy and glowing with happiness in Tristan's arms on the makeshift dance floor, she made her excuses, smiling sedately at Lula's hopeful suggestion that she was sneaking off for an illicit rendezvous with Theo.
She wasn't ready to tell her friend about what was going on with him just yet. Mostly because she didn't really know herself.
She was pretty sure this was just going to be a short, hot fling, but something in the back of her brain nagged at her not to totally discount it being more. It wasn't as though she was expecting it to turn into a serious relationship, but the thought of never seeing him again made her stomach twist uncomfortably.
He opened the door of the guest house to her wearing a pair of jeans and an old T-shirt - which mercifully didn't take her long to strip off him.
After she'd paid him his orgasms back, they lay in bed together, her snuggled into his body as he ran his fingers lazily along her arm from shoulder to elbow.
It felt so good to be allowed to get this close to him finally, and her body began to relax and grow heavy with tiredness as the sun made an appearance through the chinks in the curtains.
'So, are you going to tell me why you've been rejecting my determined advances for so long?' she murmured, intrigued to see whether he'd give something away whilst in this relaxed, dream-like state.
'No.'
Propping herself onto her elbow, she frowned down at him. 'Why not?' she asked, frustration clear in her tone.
His expression remained shuttered. 'Because I don't want to talk about that stuff. Deal with it.'
'Argh! You're such a pain in the arse,' she said, forcing as much levity into her voice as she could manage.
He turned to lift a sardonic eyebrow at her. 'Is this your sneaky way to get me riled up and inside you again?'
Flashing him a grin, feeling relieved he hadn't totally shut her out again, she ran a fingertip around his nipple. 'Might be. We clearly have spectacular angry sex.'
'You like a bit of angry, don't you?'
She narrowed her eyes. 'It adds to the excitement.'
'It's a good job, since I'm such a surly bastard. Hugo used to tease me mercilessly about it. He was the smart, funny one - and incredibly brave. He knew he wasn't going to be around that long but he never let it get him down. I was always the grumpy one.'
'He sounds amazing.'
'He was. I still miss him.'
'Of course you do - that's only natural.' She dropped her gaze to where her hand played against his chest.
'How long has it been since you saw your mother?' he asked bluntly, clearly wanting to turn the conversation away from him and back to her.
A cold chill swept through her body at the mention of her. 'I don't know. A long time.'
'Will you ever go and see her?'
She shrugged. 'What's the point? She doesn't want to see me. As my father so unsubtly pointed out, many a time, if she loved me at all she wouldn't have tried to kill herself. Twice.'
He put his hand over hers in shock, then squeezed it in sympathy. 'Jeez, Emily, and I thought my mother was hard work.'
'She's a pussycat in comparison to mine. You know, the first time she tried to commit suicide was on my thirteenth birthday. I came home early, excited about the party she was meant to be throwing for me, and found her in the bath with her wrists cut. She'd left a note addressed to my brother, telling him she loved him. I got nothing. Not even a passing mention. She didn't even love me enough to say goodbye. I decided at that point that she may as well be dead, so that's what I tell people.'
His hand tightened on hers. 'You can't blame yourself. Clearly, she was having some mental health struggles.'
She flicked her gaze to meet his. 'It's telling that she chose my birthday as the day she wanted to die, though. I was a bit - challenging when I was younger. I was particularly obnoxious as a tween. I think I drove her mad. Literally.'
She gave a cynical laugh, which he frowned at.
'Although fairly recently a friend of the family let slip that my mum seemed to become very depressed soon after my brother was born and she found out my dad was having an affair,' she continued, flopping back down next to him on the bed, suddenly exhausted from all the confessing. 'I guess the combination of all those things together must have tipped her over the edge.'
'It's never just one thing,' he said, sliding an arm under her neck and pulling her into a hug against his body.
'My father wouldn't let me talk about it,' she said to his chest, her voice sounding loud in the ear pressed against him. 'It was as if it hadn't happened. Any time I mentioned it, or got upset, he'd shut me down. He had no idea how to handle it, so he didn't. I think he's bitter about it because he believes she deliberately hid her depression from him before he married her. He feels duped, or something - landed with a defective wife. At least that's how he justifies locking her away.'
'You were very young to have to deal with all that,' he said, his voice rumbling through the wall of his chest.
'Yeah, I guess. After her first attempt my father wouldn't let her see me and my brother and she tried to commit suicide again a couple of months later. That's when he had her committed. Very quietly, of course. He told any friends who asked that she'd left him to go and live with a lover in Italy and didn't want to have contact with any of us again.'
Theo let out a huff of sympathetic disbelief.
'It's amazing how easily people believed she'd just run off with a lover to another country without a word. I guess the friends she had weren't that close to her. Or maybe she'd annoyed them all by flirting with their husbands. According to my father, she was quite the seductress in her day. No wonder he hates the way I live my life. I'm sure he thinks that sex is the essence of pure evil and it's going to be my downfall - even though his own affair probably contributed to my mother's attempted suicides.'
'Is he single now?'
'Ha! No. He found himself a meek and pliant mistress soon after my mother "ran away" and he's gradually moved her into his life. In fact, he's never admitted it but I suspect she was the woman he had the affair with before. Anyway, everyone assumes she's his wife and my mother now. I can't stand her.'
'So you haven't seen any of your family for a long time, then?'
She shook her head, walking her fingers up from his belly button to his chest and back down again. 'No. You should see the way my father looks at me, Theo - like he's watching for the warning signs that my mother displayed and is worried I'm going to spontaneously go crazy on him. That's why I never see him any more. I can't stand the look in his eyes. When I was young, people used to tell me I was just like my mother all the time. Even down to her mannerisms. No wonder he can't bear to be around me.'
'He's wrong to treat you like that,' Theo said forcefully.
She lifted her head to look him in the eye and gave him a grateful smile.
'Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm fine. I have a job I love, good friends and a life I enjoy living.'
She tried not to think about how it could all fall down around her ears soon, if the producers of her show had their way and replaced her with Daisy Dunlop. Rolling on top of him, she kissed him long and deeply to take her mind off it.
It would all be fine.
She'd make sure it was.