the desert's rose

finding beauty in negative spaces (🏜️🌹)

That night at her hojra left her with more than a bleeding wrist and a bruise of his handprint around her throat, it also left her with the knowledge that she had married the devil himself.

She sat numbly as Moti and Reva silently cleaned and applied ointment to her wrists, not even a wince escaped her despite the sting. What was the point of reacting to the physical pain when the impact his words had dealt was heavier?

"The only reason why you are here is because you are nothing more than a wild exotic bird and once I finally clip those wings, Jodha Begum, you'll be as useless as a broken bird."

His motive for bringing her to Agra was not to form an alliance with Amer but because he saw her as nothing more than a wild animal to be tamed. She did not care if he reciprocated her hatred of him but the knowledge of his true motives stung.

She had tried to avoid him but the gods seemed to be highly invested in making jokes at her expense. Fate was against her as the next day, Maan Singh was summoned to the Diwan-e-Khaas for breaking one of the rules of the harem - visiting his Bua Sa without seeking permission from Jalal.

"The harem is under the protection of none other than the emperor, bete," Ammi Jaan had explained to her. "No man is allowed in, not even to protect the harem. To breach the harem is to invite death."

Her breath had caught in her throat as soon as Maan Singh walked into the court with two durbaans accompanying him. Never had she been more prayerful than that moment as soon as he was interrogated by none other than the devil who glanced at her.

The intensity of his stare was enough to send shivers down her spine even with the pardah separating them. His threat against her family and the people of Amer still lay around fresh in her memories.

Was he so ruthless that he would harm a teenage boy whose only sin was to look out for his Bua? But he had also threatened to raze Amer to the ground and that included its children.

At the end of that day, the jallad was impressed by Maan Singh's bravery and his punishment for the young boy was that he would be placed under his guidance. Knowing him, his plot was probably to make the boy a ruthless carbon copy of himself.

Aside from that and the other unfortunate times when she had to see his face during court sessions, she successfully avoided him.

Now, it has been a month since that event and while her legs were yet to take her beyond the gates of the fort in Agra, she spent the weeks moving wherever her legs took her.

First, they had led her to the Angoori Bagh where she had planted the tulsi plant for her puja. Ammi Jaan had happened to stumble across her, the older woman impressed at the care given to the sacred plant. In addition to her tulsi puja, the Angoori Bagh provided the peace she had least expected in Agra.

Then, her legs wandered around the harem as she took it upon herself to learn every pathway that connected. That brought with it nostalgic memories of when she would map out secret rooms and passages in Amer - some of such adventures almost causing mini heart attacks to Bhapu Sa and Maa Sa who would then conduct search parties to retrieve her.

Old habits died hard for the Rajput queen and they had also led to interesting encounters with the other begums. Initially, she became a gossip hotspot for being the Begum who defied Shehenshah while in his home.

It seemed to draw in other begums whose curiosity got the better of them. Who would not want to know more about the queen who had the temerity to do what she did?

And just within a month, Jodha's little ventures and encounters got her a bit more familiar with some of the women in the harem.

Like her, most of them were ladies of royal or noble upbringing all married to Jalaluddin Mohammad to secure peace between the Mughal Empire and their kingdoms of origin. However, some of the events which took place within the harem were enough to make her shudder just from remembering them.