Because of you

Chapter Eighteen

Shawn picked nervously at his napkin, shredding it into confetti. His leg bounced and his gaze darted around the patio of the place they'd stopped to eat. It wasn't anywhere he'd ever been before and it seemed a touch out of Lassie's character. JimBob's Crabbies, what a name. The seafood joint wasn't within the city limits of Santa Barbra, which brought up a number of qurstions, one easily more important than the others.

Waves crashed ashore the beach, a gull squawking as the rush of frothy water disrupted his sandy hunt for scraps. Shawn was surprised by the closeness to the ocean, thinking it crazy he could probably reach over and touch the salty liquid. Shouldn't it have been against the law or some regulation for the shack, for JimBob's Crabbies looked literally like a shack painted an obscene combination of neon green and hot pink up on stilts with a wooden deck jutting off the back, to be so far out on the beach?

Of the four tables I side, two were occupied. He and Lassie were the only 2 outside. A joint down the way, one with what sounded like a live babd, drew a bigger crowd. Why are we here instead of over there?

Lassie reappeared, returning from the bathroom-the location of which Shawn was afraid to ask. He was surprised enough the place had a functioning kitchen. "Have you ordered?"

"Why are we here?" The words flew out of his mouth. Had his mom awkwardly tagged along she might have picked that moment to kick him under the table. "Sorry." Wait, was that a flicker of , dare I even think it, pain on lovely Lassie's face?

The detective fell into his chair, the rickety wood groaning, but holding. "You don't like it?"

"Are you..." Shawn swirled a finger in his pile of accumulating napkin snow. "Are you ashamed to be seen with me? Go on, you can say yes, it's okay. I'll understand. You know, you never had to say yes to our dating. I mean, this date. You could have turned me down, I'd have been fine. There's no need to pity date me."

"Spencer!" Lassiter barked.

He promptly shut his mouth, dropping his hands in his lap.

"Would you like to go somewhere else? We can do that. Perhaps that joint over there?" He indicated the nearby restaurant. "Please know, though, I brought you here for a reason."

"To leave my defenseless body to the mercy of the ocean?" he quipped, attempting to lighten the mood, realizing too late it might sound yerribly wrong given what he'd tried doing to himself.

"Because I like it."

Shaen blinked. Did I hear him right? JimBob's Crabbies was the last place he expected to find Lassiter. Just the name alone... Now to hear the eatery was somewhat of a favorite, which suggested came around frequently-oh my, he's a JimBob's regular-took him by surprise. This was the kind of place he usually stumbled on and dragged people, mostly Gus, to while they pondered, usually aloud, if it was sanitary. And here he'd adopted their role.

He slumped back in his chair. "Sorry," he muttered for the umpteenth time.

"I can tell what you're thinking," Lassiter said, giving Shawn his patented I'm-a-detective look. "Once had a perp escape and make his way here. Said if he was going to be locked away he needed one last trip to JimBob's. Trust me, it's not much to look at, but the crab cakes are to die for."

Shawn had to admit, whatever was being cooked, the smell wafting out of the tiny kitchen, it made his stomach growl with anticipation. But it still didn't distract him from the almost fangirl quality of Lassie's last statement. "Did, did you just-"

"Shut up, Shawn."

"Does Jules know?"

"No. I've never brouggt anyone here before."

The weight of his words settled over Shawn, wrapping him in a comforting warmth. This place, this odd little, very un-Lassir like shack was a special place, a secret? One he picked to share with Shawn? Now he regreted his earlier concerns, sitting there thinking the worst of his favorite man. Heat spread across his cheeks. "Crap."

At that moment the waitress, for lack of a better term, brought them ice cold sodas, both glasses glistening with condensation, the ice cubes clinking. Shawn snatched his up, shoving his strae in his mouth. The beverage certainly tasted better than his foot.

"What would you like?" she asked, looking bored and as if she'd rather be somewhere else. Shawn tried to ignore the stain on her apron which oddly resembled the Playboy bunny.

"Shawn?"

He made a gesture with his hand. "You say this pmace is a favorite. Wow me with your choices."

Lassiter rattled off a few dishes. The detective, needless to say, had an appetite. Nervous eating? She departed without another word. Left alone, Shawn turned his gaze back to the ocesn, watching as it slowly ate the sun, what few stars they could see winking into sight in the darkening sky. He was reminded of his travels, those years when being in Santa Barbra was the absolute last place he wanted to be. There'd been some fabulous night skies, he even slept under a few of them. Maybe I should go back to those places, bring Lassie along with me. Ha. Like he'd ever willingly take a break from his job. The man bleeds blue.

"You're right, though," Lassiter said, his voice breaking through Shawn's frisky romantic thoughts.

He shifted his gaze back to the detective. "Huh?"

"My being ashamed of you. Maybe that's not the right word." Some of Lassiter's stony exterior slipped to reveal the rarely seen softer side. "I'm not technically ashamed of you, however let's be honest, some times your antics are a touch too overboard and there are some people who think you're absolute bonkers," he explained. "Guess what I'm trying to say is that you're the first guy I've ever been out with. So maybe you could say I'm nervous, or this is awkward, uncharted territory. and I'm trying my best, okay?"

"That's all anyone can ask for," Shawn sputtered. He tried to bury the pain that Lassie's words brought with them, totally getting what he meant, but that didn't automatically make it all better. He resisted the urge to ask Lassie if he just wanted to leave, to just write off the rest of the night.

He was saved by the arrival of food, all of which looked beyond palate pleasing. I a flash the table was covered in dishes, everything from popcorn shrimp to the famous crab cakes. Their drinks barely had enough space, and Shawn wasn't sure where to start. So he plucked something breaded and deep fried from the plate in front of him and popped it in his mouth.

The next handful of minutes were spent in what wound up being companionable silence as the two of them ate. Shawn made sure he sampled a bit of everything, quickly coming to see why the crook Lassiter mentioned kept coming back to this place. He'd have likely done the same. Once he was stuffed, unable to eat another bite, he sat back in his chair, a hand on his threatening to explode stomach.

"So, still feel like I brought you here to hide you?"

"I think you brought me here to stuff me like a November turkey. If so, consider yourself successful."

"Good."

Silence settled between them again. Shawn didn't want the night to end. It was easily thr best one he'd had in, well, the number eluded him. But what if this is it? What if there's never another Dare? What if Lassiter did do this as some sort of pity date? Am I truly going to be fine with the whole thing? I mean, I spoke my truth. I let out everything I've kept bottled up in my heart, and also this wouldn't be the first time my heart broke, and I survived all those times. Why should this turn by any different?

"You look like a man with deep thoughts, care to share?"

Shawn massaged the back of his neck. "I just... Look, it's okay if this is all that ever happens between us. By all means, don't feel obligated to take me out again."

Lassiter frowned. "Gees, how does Gus put up with you?"

"What?"

The waitress arrived to whisk away the mostly empty plates. Lassiter waited until she was gone before leaning toward him. Their eyes met, fire burning fiercely in Lassiter's eyes. "Listen to me, Shawn. If you don't return to you, then yeah, this'll be it. This whoa is me Shawn needs to go away, do you hear me? I want you crazy, unpredictable, and as obnoxious as ever. Got it?"