Lost in the Lights

Chapter 13

It's the first day back to school after the short Thanksgiving break and Freen is as anxious as ever as she pulls into the Student Parking lot. School has been out since the football game against Crawford County and she knows everyone's bound to be talking about how she ran out on the field for Brittany. She's hoping that the buzz will have died down by now, but who knows – when it comes to drama, this town has a hard time forgetting.

After everything that happened with Bree and JB, it's hard for Freen to not feel paranoid that everyone knows about her and Becky's relationship now even if she hasn't told anyone other than her mom. She hasn't even told Nam yet, but that feeling of everyone staring at her again and whispering whatever they want about her is a hard one to shake.

Although Freen can acknowledge it, she still struggles with letting that feeling take over versus simply not giving a single fuck about what anyone has to say.

All morning she has been trying to remember what everyone keeps telling her – that she isn't in this alone and there's a lot more people who care about her than she knows. Her hands still tremble a little though as she reaches for her make up bag and starts to apply mascara to her lashes.

Who cares if she wanted to kick Azimio and Tack's asses? She doubts she's the only one who thinks they deserve it! Who cares if she looked a little crazy running out on the field like that? She thought Becky was seriously hurt, anyone with a heart would've done the same!

It's an easy argument to win when it comes to hashing it out in her head, but it's a different story when it actually happens and that's what worries her. She can just picture JB trying to get some type of statement out of her while also making ridiculous claims. She can't punch him in the face – although she's sure she'd be doing the entire school a favor – because she's on thin ice with Principal Figgins and she definitely doesn't need even more reason for her dad to hate her.

Somehow, she has to maintain a level head when she walks through those doors this morning. But her? Keeping a level head? Freen's never been level-headed in her whole life!

Once she finishes with her lashes, Freen leans back and stares herself down in the rear view mirror. The girl looking back has been through hell – and as tired as she is – her journey isn't over just yet. It's only a matter of  whether or not Freen can remember how strong she actually is, how resilient, how brave.

Freen takes a deep breath and digs around for lip gloss in her make up bag; embracing herself and being confident about it is a lot more easier said than done but she's just going to have to deal with it.

Suddenly a car pulls up next to Freen's and the Co-Captain glances in its direction. She's not all that surprised by the signature mega-watt smile Becky's wearing as she slides off her sunglasses and gives Freen a little wave. For a moment, those scary anxious feelings that have plagued Freen all morning are momentarily replaced by a warmth, a fluttery feeling, that only her girlfriend seems to give her.

Her girlfriend; Freen can't help but smile. With Becky by her side, Freen always feels a little different. It's like she stands taller, her chin is held higher and she feels more like herself.

Maybe this first day back to school won't be so bad? After all, doesn't have to do this alone.

***

After leaning over to grab her bookbag from the passenger seat, Becky hops out of her car. Freen's just now doing the same and Becky rests against her hood as she waits, taking advantage of the warmth there as she folds her arms over her chest.