Double Crossbow (Daryl Dixon) [The Walking Dead]

Chapter 75 ↣ Become something else?

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love."

- Rumi

↣ ↢

BEFORE

Kathryn's mornings are a ritual she can't imagine parting from–grumpy cafe customers and all. Ava lights up the diner's counter every morning. Kathryn knows now that she loves comic books. She has a dry sense of humor that surprises her every time. And double chocolate chip muffins are her favorite.

Kathryn knows, too, that her homelife is one she needs to get out of. Ava's foster family isn't taking children in out of the good of their hearts. In a couple more week's pay, Kathryn will have enough for an apartment, and she thinks adoption fees as well.

Her college savings will be depleted a second time, but this time it will be her choice. In her heart though, there is no choice. She will choose the smiling, chattering girl every time.

Kathryn watches the clock, and as the minutes tick by, the knot in her stomach grows. She takes a cigarette break when Ava's bus is supposed to arrive down the block. As she walks, she nearly bites the butt off her cigarette as she tries to move through her sense of dread. She sees the yellow bus pull up. She sees several children climb on. She does not see Ava.

↣ ↢

AFTER

Kathryn

The warm bubble of solitude our group had created popped sooner than I would've liked. Glenn, Noah, and Tara returned from their first run with the people of Alexandria with a disturbing story. They kept walkers chained to trees in order to avenge fallen friends, using them as undead emotional punching bags. When our group had killed it, they had claimed we were the ones lacking experience.

Daryl and I sat on the front porch of the house once again. He didn't seem to be happy unless his whole side was firmly pressed against me. I watched him carefully as he took a drag from a cigarette. New clothes and half a pack of smokes were hidden in the drawers of the bedrooms. Hot showers and new clothes. We were practically new people.

"What?" Daryl asked, bowing his head towards me.

"You're clingy," I replied.

He harrumphed in mock offense.

"I also want that," I added, dropping my eyes to his cigarette.

"I must love you or somethin'." He handed it over and retrieved the pack from his breast pocket.

Taking a drag, I was taken aback by the taste. It was familiar, but only in the vaguest sense. Like I was dusting off something previously lost. Nostalgia, perhaps, was its taste. With the cigarette still between my lips, Daryl grabbed my chin, and the end flared red as I inhaled in surprise.

He dropped his face to mine, using my cigarette to light his. The smoke lingered in my lungs as I forgot to exhale. He had pushed all his hair back when it was wet. Now dry, only a few flyaway pieces fell across his face. I relished seeing all of him. His eyes cut to mine as he took the first drag of the new cigarette. They danced with amusement.

"Needed a light," he said.

I turned and exhaled. When I looked back, he was still smug, so I reached out and pushed back the fallen strands of his hair, lingering at the nape of his neck. Now he stilled, cigarette loose in his mouth. "You gonna cut yours next?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Want me to?"

I considered, remembering the short haired Daryl I had met in Atlanta. I mussed up his hair when I had decided. "No. You can keep your handsome face just for me."