Bonds Of Desire

CROSSED PATHS

The morning sun cast a soft glow across the beach, and I tried to focus on the peaceful sound of the waves. But my mind was a mess. Dax showing up yesterday had thrown me off balance. I thought I’d be fine, that seeing him again wouldn’t affect me. After all, I had Theo now, and Dax was just a memory—one I’d worked hard to bury.

But seeing him again, the way his presence filled the room, had made that memory all too real.

I walked slowly along the shore, trying to clear my head. The cool sand beneath my feet should’ve been soothing, but I couldn’t shake the tension knotted in my chest. I’d told myself I was over him. And I was… wasn’t I?

I had spent almost the whole night thinking of what I should do, I didn't want Theo to suspect anything, so I had to act natural around Dax. My plan this weekend was to avoid Dax but not make it visible, if that makes any sense. I definitely do not want to deal with him or have anything to do with him throughout the weekend.

I wasn’t sure how long I’d been walking before I saw him. Dax was sitting on the sand, his broad back to the water, staring out at the ocean like he was searching for something. For a moment, I thought about turning back. I didn’t want to deal with him, didn’t want to face whatever this was between us. But I knew that was a coward’s move. So I steeled myself and walked over. It's not even past six hours and I've already broken my plan.

“Can’t sleep either, huh?” His voice was calm, casual, like we were just two people who happened to run into each other.

“Yeah,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. I stopped a few feet away, not sure if I should get any closer.

He turned slightly, his eyes meeting mine, and for a second, I saw something there—uncertainty? But then he masked it, his expression as unreadable as ever. “It’s peaceful out here,” he said, almost as if he was trying to make small talk.

“It is.” I hugged myself, not because I was cold, but because I needed something to hold on to.

We stood there in awkward silence, the sound of the waves filling the gap between us. I should’ve felt something—anger, sadness, anything. But instead, I just felt numb. Maybe it was because I didn’t care anymore. Maybe it was because whatever feelings I’d had for Dax had finally died.

“You can sit,” he said, patting the sand beside him. “I won’t bite.”

I hesitated but sat down, keeping a bit of distance between us. I didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to deal with this, but I couldn’t just walk away either.

“It’s been a while,” I said, my voice sounding too small. I almost face palm myself, why did I talk, I could have just let the silence do it's thing.

“It has.” His reply was curt, as if he didn’t know what to say next. I was fine with that. We didn’t need to say anything.

We both stared out at the horizon, lost in our own thoughts. I could feel the tension rolling off him, the way his muscles were coiled tight like he was ready to spring up at any moment. It was strange, seeing him like this. Dax had always been so confident, so sure of himself.

But now, he seemed just as unsure as I was.

Finally, I spoke, breaking the silence that had become too heavy. “I didn’t expect to see you here. On this trip, I mean.”

“Nathan insisted.” He glanced at me, his eyes searching mine for something. “He thought I needed a break from work.”

I nodded, not sure what else to say. “You’ve been busy, I guess.”

“Yeah.” His voice was flat, like there was more he wanted to say but didn’t. I could feel him watching me, like he was trying to figure something out. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want him to be curious about me. I didn’t want him to want anything from me. Or maybe I'm just overthinking, being paranoid.

“Dax,” I started, not sure where I was going with this, but I knew I was going to regret the next words that'll come out of my mouth.  “Whatever happened between us… It’s over, right? We both moved on.”

He didn’t answer right away, and the silence that followed was suffocating. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, almost like he was talking to himself. “Is that what you want?”

I blinked, not sure I’d heard him right. “What?”

He turned to face me, his blue eyes intense, searching mine for something I wasn’t sure I could give him. “Do you want it to be over?”

The question threw me off. I mean did he forget he was the one that said whatever happened was a mistake and it wasn't going to happen again, so what on earth is he saying. I didn’t know what to say.

Did I want it to be over? Yes. Even though a sick part of me wanted to say No, I shut it down. I knew one thing—I didn’t want to go down this road again. Not with him. “I’m with Theo now,” I said, my voice firmer than I felt. “I've moved on ”

He nodded slowly, like he was trying to convince himself of something. “Yeah… I can see that” But his eyes betrayed him, showing that uncertainty again, like he wasn’t sure he believed his own words.

I looked away, focusing on the waves. I didn’t want to see that doubt in his eyes, didn’t want to think about what it meant. I had moved on. I had Theo. And whatever this was with Dax… it didn’t matter anymore.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, his frustration clear. “It looks like a treats you well ,seems like a nice guy” he says, a bit of Sarcasm slipping through the crack of his words. 

I nod not looking at him, I know what he meant but I decide to let his sarcasm slide  "he does, he treats me the way I deserve to be treated, like a princess" I say confidently.

I hear him sigh " Ella, about us, I-..."

I stood up, brushing the sand off my legs. “You don’t get to be confused, Dax. You made your choice, and so did I.” I say cutting him off.

For a moment, he looked like he wanted to argue, but then he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “You’re right.” His voice was quiet, resigned. "Friends ,it is" he says finally matching the words he said the day the rejected me.

I nod turning to look at him , his face lacked the confusion he felt few minutes ago, more like he made a decision, to get his shit together. And I'm glad he did, because I already did.

"I hope we get along this weekend " he says standing up as he looked at me.

Giving a firm nod, I turned and started walking back towards the house, my heart pounding in my chest. I didn’t look back, even though I wanted to.

My feelings for him were done and I'm definitely not letting it come back.