LOVE YOU, LOTTIE.

Ch.8 - Dirty

Knees bared to chest.
The shower had been spewing boiling hot water for over an hour now. The mirror was fogged. The air was humid and steamed.
Yet, Lottie sat on the shower floor. Knees bared to her chest as the water rinsed off the soap from her body.
But she’d scrub again, again and again.
Her skin was already turning irritated and red from all the harsh scrubbing. But she felt it had to be done.
She felt dirty.
Hoya made her feel dirty.
How could I have let this happen again?
Am I cursed or something?
Is it really my fault?
There’s bashing on the bathroom door.
“Turn that damn shower off! You’ll run my bill up!”
“Okay. Sorry Dad.”
I might as well get up anyway. It’s not like staring blankly at this shower wall is going to make me feel any better.
Arising from her place she turned off the shower and grabbed a towel.
The air in the bathroom was too thick, she had to get out.
And so she did. Dashing to her room.
And what’d she do after shutting the door behind her?
She cascaded to the floor and cried. Sobbed.
A little piece of her hopped that one of her parents would come in, noticing the door was unlocked and ask her what happened, why was she crying, or express concern.
But no. They didn’t. Because they didn’t care.
They couldn’t give two shits about why she was sobbing on the ground.
My phone..
My phone!
Lottie crawled frantically around her room for her phone, later finding it on her work desk.
Maybe it was the high she was still on from that spiked drink.. but it seemed like her floor was moving.
And she thought she saw someone’s face outside her window…

Mark Riggs…
Hoya typed the name into google but barely anything came up except for random links and dead old people obituaries.
Why can’t I find anything on this guy?
Finally, on the 12th page of the google search he found an article.
“17 year old accused of raping one of his collegues at his party”
Hoya leaned into his computer screen.
“Victim Z who prefers to remain anonymous states that she was given a drink, not knowing that it was spiked. This was when Riggs assaulted her.”
His breath hitched.
“The court ruled Mark Riggs as not guilty; Victim Z will be assigned a new school.”
Hoya’s blood froze.
It was obvious that Victim Z is Lottie.
It had to be.
Oh Lottie!
The boy began to weep.
Lottie..no!

“You guys seriously haven’t seen her at all?!”
“No! It was like once we got in she disappeared!”
Liz and Ruden were going back and forth while Caska spammed the groupchat, in hopes of Lottie responding and Mike scooped out the house, looking for any signs of her.
It was currently 4AM, and everyone was stressed.
“Mike!” Liz called, seeing him jog out the house, “see her?”
The boy shook his sweating head, making her sigh.
Fortunately a ding was heard from Caska’s phone, “It’s Lottie! She texted the groupchat!”
All pulling out their phones they read the following text:

Lotss: Hey guys, i’m okay. I ubered home, the drinking made me feel sick.

Collectively they exhaled, relieved their friend was okay.

Liz: We were so worried! Glad you’re okay Lots :(

Ruden: Yeah, but next time tell us when you’re leaving, for safety.

Mike: Totally- we thought someone.. you know..

Well, yeah Mike that’s actually what happened. I won’t tell you that though.

Lotss: Yeah I know I know, sorry guys, I’ll let you know next time! I’ve gotta get some sleep tho..

Cass: Okay girl! Sleep tight!

“What are we going to do about her uniform? It’s still at my place.” Ruden questioned.
“I’ll drop it off tomorrow or Sunday,” Liz replied.
“Liz I drive y’know!” He laughed, “I’ll text her later and see when I can drop 'em off at her place.”
Liz pursed her lips but nodded her head and put the car in reverse.
Do I like her? She thought,
I mean.. I do but..
Looking over at Ruden for a split second,
He likes her too.. doesn’t he?
Guilt bubbles in Liz’s stomach.
She knows she shouldn’t see Ruden as competition but.. he could have any girl he wanted, most likely.
So shouldn’t he just.. let her have Lottie?
God- what am I thinking? He’s my friend for christ sake!
She was in denial.
She was jealous of Ruden.
Because she wanted Lottie.
And she was pretty sure Lottie wanted Ruden too.

Lottie had lied.
She wasn’t going to sleep. She couldn’t. She just stared blankly at her bedroom wall while her phone was on the charger beside her.
She rolled her eyes when she heard a ding.
Damnit. Of course it’s him.

Hoya: Lottie why didn’t you tell me? :(

Lotss: What?

Hoya: That Mark guy..
*Attachment*
You didn’t tell me he did this to you..

Her whole body burned.
The attachment was an article.
Of Mark Riggs.
Her case.

Hoya: You’re “Victim Z” aren’t you?

You fucker.
YOU FUCKER.
HOYA.

Lotss: CAN’T YOU JUST STAY OUT OF MY LIFE??

Hoya: Lottie stop.. you’re making me sad :(

Lotss: CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M SAD TOO? WHAT YOU DID TO ME AT THE PARTY?

Hoya: What we did was consensual though baby.

At this point Lottie’s hand couldn’t stop shaking.
Not thinking, she tapped the phone icon for a call.

“Hey, just breathe for me okay?-”
“Who do you think you are?”
“What? Lottie I think you should try relaxing..”
“STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! YOU HEAR ME?”
“Lottie stop!”
“YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! STAY OUT OF MY LIFE, MY PAST, ALL OF IT.”
Hoya’s cries were heard through the phone. “Lottie I love you! Why are you doing this to me?!”
“Go love on one of your fans that tell you to stop slitting your wrists.”
“You said you loved me too though!”
Silence. For about 5 seconds.
“I was.. fucked up. That’s all.”
“That doesn’t matter! You still said it!”
“Hoya.”
“We love eachother Lottie. We are boyfriend and girlfriend now.”
“I DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU! STAY OUT OF MY LIFE!”
“NO-”
And with that she hung up.
And ran to the bathroom to vomit.

“I saw her at the bar, but she was drinking, and seemed to be enjoying her peace so I didn’t bother her!” Doris chuckled.
Meanwhile, Sora bit at her gums. Worried for Lottie.
“So you guys didn’t see her going anywhere with Hoya?”
“Nope! Didn’t really see him all that much either.” Kason sputtered.
Sora breathed a sigh of relief.