Sanichew

Chapter 1

Sanichew was chilling on his armchair, drinking Mountain Dew and enjoying his favorite TV show, 'Adventures of Sanic the Hegehog'. He had nothing to worry about and was living his totally normal life.

But suddently the wall next yo him exploded, making a mess around the living room! A winged white creature with tentacles for legs appeared on the scene and said "Be not afraid".

In the meantime Sanichew was lied on the floor... apparently dead...

Hollup! I just checked his pulse! Thank GodJesus he's still alive!

The creature introduced themselves to Sanichew: "I am Angelica, your guardian angel. I have been sent by GodJesus to find a worthy being to protect this world from s8anic forces, and for some reason you my holy senses led me to you".

"I can't feel my legs!" Sanichew said in pain.

Angelica continued her monologue: "I'm here to give you one of the most powerful artifacts in Creation, the 7 Chaos Doritos. If you eat one of these you get cool god-like powers. Use them well. Use them wisely".

"MY FUCKING LEGS ARE BROKEN!", Sanichew yelled.

Angelica used some holy water to regenerate the tissues of Sanichew's legs, and pointed at the enormous hole she made on the wall. "It is time for you to save Earth. Go and zap to the extreme!". "What do I gain from it?" Sanichew asked. "A reward is the last thing a hero strives for". "Yeah, whatever".

Right after Sanichew shouted a sonorous and terrified "HOLY SHIT!" witnessing a giant unholy being standing on the street.He had a teeth set for his head and a giant dried ham for his lower arm. "I AM HAMMEGEDDON!", he yelled proudly before sinking his teeth in his ham.

"Sanichew", Angelica said, "you have to defeat this unholy kaiju thing!". "But how?", Sanichew asked. "Eat one of those Doritos". "Oh".

Sanichew ate one Chaos Dorito and felt extreme euphoria and stregth. He felt powerful. He felt light like a feather. He felt ready to kick Hammegeddon's sorry ass.

He reached the big s8anic being while the latter was eating his ham arm, not causing any structural damage whatsoever. "You messed up with the wrong neighborhood, motherfucker!", Sanichew cried. "Who dares to disturb me while I'm eating?", Hammegeddon said annoyed. "I... am Sanichew" he said as he jumped at high speed towards his enemy. He became a literal electric bullet and passed through Hammegeddon's chest. "MY BEAUTIFUL PECS!!" he screamed in pain as blood came out of the hole Sanichew provoked.

As our hero landed he said "That was easy!", but he didn't realize he still had a problem to deal with. Hammegeddon felt on his knees as he was about to faint. Beneath the falling moribund a busty and thicc gal was walking on the road because she felt like it.

As Sanichew noticed her he immediately went to the rescue, hoping she would give him some of her China. He ran as fast as he could and caught the girl with his slim yellow arms. He went with her as far as possible from Hammegeddon's falling body, which made a lot of noise.

The girl was safe and sound-

"My name is Roscho"

Thank you.

Roscho was safe and sound and felt in love at first sight of Sanichew. To her silly eyes he was cute and heroic. Sanichew was bewitched by the gal too: her chest was very... a very suited case for a kind heart like hers.

Sanichew made the first step: "Wanna hang out?" he asked. "Of course, my hero!" Roscho replied in fluster. So the two settled the date on April 20th at Fazbot's Diner.

After Roscho left, Angelica appeared to Sanichew again and said "Remember you have 6 Chaos Doritos now. Use them only in case of grave danger for Earth. From now on I shall be your guardian angel. I will give you advice and follow you everywhere you go". "Even in the bathroom?" Saniche asked. "Yes"