I actually hate myself. Not just hate, it's loathe.
Hi, I'm Rory, but people call me Roro. I'm a loser and a loner. It's how I've always been.
And as a loser, I've grown to be very insecure. I'm a victim of many things. Bullying, manipulation, SA, and being lied to and insulted. But worst of all, I'm a victim of my own mind. I'm always telling myself I'm ugly, worthless, and have no future.
I want to change my ways. I want to be happy for once. Since middle school started, I've been going lower and lower. I thought it got better.
I'm getting worse.
Help me, mommy.
Help me, daddy.
Please
I was raised thinking that I will only be good if I get straight As. But now that i'm losing motivation, my grades are slipping. My mom and dad won't like that, I'm usually a good student.
I'm sorry.
I'm tired.
I need a hug.
Please hug me.
All I want is to be pretty, smart, happy, and to feel loved and not alone.
I almost started SH today. I thought about my family, how they wouldn't be happy to see their child hurt themselves. I don't want to do that to them.
All I want is to be happy.
I want to be pretty.
Please let me feel loved.
Let someone love me, God.
I have a crush. He talks to many girls. I'm not as pretty as them. He probably likes another girl.
I wish he'd notice me, not those other girls. If only I could be pretty.
Or at least feel like a girl. I hate being genderfluid.
I will never feel validated.
I will never be myself.
Myself isn't a thing anymore. I'm a clone of whoever I talk to.
I wish I was my own person. I want to be liked for who I am, not bullied.
Please.
- Rory, sadness.
