Blood on the Pitch

Chapter Twenty

Madison was in fact not okay after Veronica's funeral.

She almost wasn't able to force herself to go.
All the sadness had hit her like a bus when she woke up that morning, she didn't even want to get out of bed.
She had to fight back tears as she got ready, putting on her nice black dress that Veronica helped her pick out a few months ago for a double date that never ended up happening, little did the blonde know Madison would be wearing it to her own funeral.

Madison couldn't stomach breakfast, instead throwing up the cup of coffee she had drank, Sophie having to hold the girl's neat curls back as she watched Madison empty her stomach into the porcelain bowl.
Based on a team discussion, the remaining members of the Twilight Owl's wore their leather-man jackets, Madison had to repress a sob as she thought about never getting to celebrate a team victory with Veronica again.

Madison had to keep her voice from shaking into a sobbing mess when she was asked to speak at Veronica's funeral by Veronica's parents.
She felt a stabbing in her heart as Veronica's parents sobbed violently over the casket.
Madison let herself sob as she stood in front of the closed casket.
Closed.
She couldn't even see her best friend one last time.
After the funeral, she blew past her teammates and her Coaches, instead racing straight into her mothers arms. Susana held her daughter tightly, shedding her own tears over the girl she had considered to be a second daughter.

The ride home was a silent one.
The air was so thick it felt nearly impossible to breathe. 
Madison and Sophie sat in the backseat of Susana's car, Richard driving.
Madison watched as Sophie played with her fishnet tights, keeping her gaze down.
It was apparent that Sophie didn't know how to react to all of this.
Her and Veronica never got along, that's how it had always been. That was very clear.
Sophie obviously didn't want Veronica to die, she wouldn't wish that on anyone.
However; She was beginning to feel like a sociopath when she was the only team member who didn't shed a tear at the funeral. Hell, even the coaches were upset, but Sophie stood there like a robot.

That's what made her feel worse.

"Sophie?"
The girl snaps her head up, meeting Susana's eyes in the rearview mirror.
"Sorry, what were you saying?"
"We were asking if there was anything specific you wanted for dinner?"
Sophie glances at Madison, the brunette was playing with her rings, clearly not engaged in the conversation.
"Uh, whatever is easy is fine with me," she pauses. "Thank you,"
Susana hums a response, her and Richard continuing their conversation.
Sophie places her hand on Madison's thigh, she looks up at the shaggy blonde, offering a kind smile, placing her hand on top of hers.

Madison had finished washing her face, her curtain bangs falling out of the low messy bun she had tied her hair into. She tugs on the sleeves of Sophie's sweater, making her way into her bedroom.
She smiles when she sees Sophie with a book in her lap, one she without a doubt stole from Madison's shelf.
"Little Women? I didn't take you as a classics girl,"
Sophie looks up, "Jokes on you, it's one of my favorites,"
Madison smiles, laying beside her, "One of mine too,"
Sophie puts the book down, laying beside her, facing her. "How are you feeling?"
"Like shit," she admits, swallowing thickly.

"You know, I guess it hadn't really fully sunk in, but seeing everyone, seeing her parents," tears welled in her eyes. "God, I hate that the last thing we did was fight. We have known each other for pretty much our entire lives, lived down the street from each other our entire lives, and I still feel like we didn't get enough time," she tearfully admits. "I wish she had more time. She was so young. She had so much life to live and-"
Sophie pulls Madison in tightly, the brunette sobs into the shaggy blonde's chest, holding onto her tightly, scared she will slip away.
Sophie sits up, pulling her girlfriend into her lap, gently rocking her back and forth, whispering soothing nothings into her ears.
"You can cry, Mad's," she whispers. "You can let it all out, I'll be here with you. I'll hold you and keep you safe. I'm so proud of how strong you're being," 

Madison sobs violently, they rack her entire body, her chest feels heavy, her head pounds and she can practically feel her eyes swelling.
The hyperventilating begins shortly after, gasped, choppy sobs escape Madison's throat. 
"Breathe, Baby, breathe," Sophie rubs the girls back.
"In and out, breathe,"
Madison sucks breath in, but it hurts.
It hurts to breathe.
Everything hurts.
It hurts to be alive.
"You got it, in and out again. Do it with me,"
Madison breathes with Sophie, taking deep breaths until the angry sobs water down to soft cries.
Sophie wipes the tears from Madison's face, smiling softly at her, "There you go, Baby,"
Madison rests her head against Sophie's, "I'm sorry,"
"Don't be," Sophie shakes her head, "Don't be sorry,"
Madison squeezes her eyes closed tightly, focusing on Sophie's arms that are wrapped around her, giving her the warmth and comfort she desperately needed in this moment.
"Thank you for being here. I'm sorry I'm such a hot mess." Madison opens her eyes, looking into Sophie's.
A small smirk appears on the girl's lips. "I mean...you got the hot part right,"
Madison playfully shoves Sophie, both girls letting out soft chuckles.
Sophie kisses the top of Madison's head, smiling softly at her, "I'm here for you. Alright?"
"I know,"
Sophie grabs Madison's hands, kissing the girl's knuckles, then pulling her close again.