Against The Law (FreenBecky)

Chapter 11: Her warmth

The second week passed in the same state after Becky left... The girls made no attempts to contact in person, or even by phone. To say more, Freen has no idea where her wife is. To some extent, pride weighs on her throat to call the girl and ask for what she so desires. For her to come back...

Lately, Freen has been having insomnia. In the truest sense of the word. The girl hardly sleeps, but only dozes, and then, if she's lucky, and it's not difficult to guess why... Not to mention the fact that she constantly dreams of Her during these hours of dozing. Those very moments when she left. What she said, and Freen woke up again with tears in her eyes.

Without her warmth and hugs, Freen feels out of place. Not comfortable. Empty. She tosses and turns day and night, forcing herself to wean herself from Her, but it hardly works...

To hide the bags under her eyes, and her eyes themselves, which are red from tears, the girl spends hours in front of the mirror, carefully covering up the traces of her insomnia and tears.

At a similar pace, the whole week has passed, and a new one has begun, and the girl feels how it is slowly fading away. And even her best friend is unable to help her...

"You look like shit" Engfa states the fact, walking into the room and watching her friend just lie on the bed, wrapped in a blanket.

"And I feel like shit" Freen mutters in a hoarse voice. Continues to lie, blindly looking out the window.

"She didn't call?" Engfa asks quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"No" she babbles in a slightly trembling voice. Just thinking about Her  brings tears to the surface.

"Do you sleep?" the girl asks again, stroking the blonde's leg.

"No" she answers and closes her eyes, wrapping herself tighter in the blanket. She sniffles.

"Let me bring you something" the brown-haired girl says again, standing up.

"No" the girl asks, "stay here. Please" Engfa just nods and takes off her shoes and lies down next to her friend.

Freen immediately rolls over, resting her head on the brown-haired girl's chest. She immediately hugs her. Maybe this will help Freen sleep...

An hour has passed. Freen breathes evenly, but... she doesn't sleep... She can't...

"I miss her" the blonde whispers in a trembling voice, still lying in her friend's arms "I miss her so much..." she repeats again and tears come out of her eyes.

"I know" the friend only answers, stroking the girl's hair.

"I'm such a fool, Fa" Freen can't hold back her crying, burying her face in the brown-haired girl's neck. "She tied me to her and then left me. I can't sleep without her, I can't eat normally, I can't do anything without her" she continues to sniffle, and her friend just listens and strokes her hair. "She said she loved me, you know?"

"What did you say?" the friend asks quietly, continuing to console the girl.

"And I'm an idiot" she wipes tears from her eyes "I'm a fool and I only sent her away. I'm so blind, God" she couldn't hold back her sob again. "She was always there. Always and no matter what. She knows that I am afraid of flying and has always supported me. She was there when my father died... She took care of me when I was sick. But she didn't have to at all... " the girl abruptly stands up in a sitting position and continues. "God, she even let me hug her. Everyone hates this stupid habit of mine, but she allowed it. She endured it just so I could sleep" she continues to sniffle, and her cheeks are already stinging from salty tears. She wipes them with the back of her hand "It's somehow not the same without her. Even if we fought. Always" she shrugs, "but it was real. Do you understand? Throughout this marriage, our relationship with her was real. Not those that were in public, but those that were behind the scenes... All this was real..." Engfa just looks at her friend and strokes her hand. "I ruined Us... it's me.." she whispers, looking blindly in front of her "only me..."