Ocean Blue Eyes~

I Was Done

Taylor's POV
 
  God. What happened last night still felt like a surreal dream. I mean, who gets an opportunity to meet one of the world's most famous hero? In a club? And she was a fan of my music? I couldn't help but let out an inner squeal. Maybe yesterday was my lucky day. After all, yesterday was the 13 of November.I grinned as I stalked—

  I meant checked out her instagram posts!!

There were so. Many.Posts. Why was she so goddamn cute?? Those dimples and that grin though...I definitely wasn't complaining. My eyebrows shot up as I stared at the pictures of her with a brunette guy. Judging by the way Skylor looked at him with such love, such adoration...he was probably her boyfriend, Vincent. The one who had passed away.

   He's rather good-looking, I'll give him that.

   Not as good-looking as me, of course. But still.

  I felt my heart sink below its resting spot when I gazed upon the picture of  Vincent's grave. The once-vibrant colors now lay wilted and lifeless, their colors drained, like the love Skylor felt being extinguished with his passing.

  My eyes stung, and I felt as if she had just picked up Skylor's grief and carried it.

  He must've been a great guy. I could only imagine how Skylor was feeling now...

  But yet, amongst the gloom and doom, a spark of creativity flickered in my brain.

  "Soon, you and I'll be safe and sound~" I hummed gently, exhaling as I did so. My heart broke for her.

  Suddenly, a melody quite unlike my usual pop radio hits floated out of my mouth.

  With trembling fingers, I penned it down. How peculiar. I only could write songs like this if I felt strongly about the subject.

  Yeah, I didn't know if it was a curse or a blessing in disguise.

  But I only met Skylor for a day. How was it possible that I felt so deeply for someone I had never met?

  My pulse quickened all of a sudden, hammering hard against my chest. Huh. Strange.

My fingers were a blur, writing faster than I had ever wrote in my life. Everything around me faded into nothing. Just me and my pencil and notebook. It was only until I felt a sudden ache in my fingers that I stopped, dropping the pencil, caressing my swollen fingers. I picked up my notebook and held it up, jaw dropping at the sight.

The whole page was filled up, there wasn't a single blank space to fit in any more words.

  How had I written that much in mere minutes? The words blurred together as I stared, my mind reeling.

  It was only after my phone pinged with a message from Jake Gyllenhaal, my boyfriend, then did I jolt, snapped out of my daze.

  I hurriedly grabbed my phone eagerly, checking Jake's contact. Was he finally arriving home? Oh my god, I couldn't wait to serve him the pasta I made.

  I had spent an hour on it, losing time over cleaning up the flour that had exploded and putting out the mini-fire I caused, my whole face filled with white powder and ashes.

  But hey, I did put in the effort. I felt my smile reach my eyes as I switched to Jake's contact.

Jake
Hey baby , sorry i can't come home today...
I've got important matters to handle.

Taylor
Oh! That's okay, I'll just eat by myself👌

Am I not important to him?I felt a familiar tide of resentment wash over me as I typed back my reply, the words tinged lightly with a trace of bitterness. I knew this routine like the back of my hand.

  I wait for Jake ever so patiently, he says he's busy, I eat alone, repeat cycle. This endless cycle has been playing out for weeks now on end, and I was just so...sick of it. I was always the patient recipient, the adoring girlfriend, who kept her hopes up on a pile of promises Jake made to me, each one broken time and time again.

Night after night, I waited by the door like I was just a kid, used my best colors for his portrait, which he had never bothered to notice. I laid the table with the fancy shit, my effort all in vain. The house, once alive with Jake's cheeky remarks and my love songs, now seemed so dull and quiet. The only sound being the clinking of the cutlery as I ate there, all alone, feeling sorry for myself, an echo of my solitude.

  This was getting old. The repetition felt like it was choking me, while I drowned in my sorrows and loneliness. All a constant reminder that what I desired, what I had wanted so bad, was just in the background waving, drawing hearts in the byline, trying to get Jake's attention in his busy life.

Night after night, I'd lie there sprawled on that grand, canopy bed, surrounded by pillows and stuff toys which offered little comfort. The spot beside me, the pillow where Jake used to lay his head on, now stood there empty and alone, just like how I felt.

  Each night, I'll fall asleep to a restless slumber, an uneasy, anxious sleep, dreams filled with fear that Jake would slip away, slide out of my grasp.

  Why? What was Jake doing anyways? The questions swirled in my mind like a storm. What secret had he been keeping that made him push me away?

Had he found someone else? Someone else that would laugh and smile at him the way I did? Someone who would spend hours perfecting presents for him? Someone who would fly halfway across the world just to see him?

Was I just a placeholder till he had found someone younger, prettier? Was I just the second choice?

The doubts kept flashing in my head, making me feel a pang in my heart. We never kept secrets from each other...but now I'm miles apart away from him, what had happened?

What happened to us?

I narrowed my eyes as I typed a message to Jake. I wasn't going to let him off easily like I always did.

Taylor
Jake, why are you always out? Why are you never home? Are you hiding something?

I stared at the message, my eyes turning glassy, glazing over as the harsh reality set in. My text had been marked with "seen".

  Why has he seen it but not bothered to reply? Did I do something wrong?

  The question echoed in my head like a cruel taunt, non-stop questioning me.

I rolled my eyes, my initial fears and doubts and fears slowly transformed into anger.

I knew it wouldn't work out with Jake anyways. o knew it from the start. Jake and I were a sham, a fabricated romance to appeal to the crowd.

  I felt a sudden wave of anger. No. That was it.

  I was done with being the media's pawn. I was done being forced to date someone who I didn't even love anymore.

  I was done, full stop.

Whooo I'm done with this shit🫠
If you're reading this, tysmm
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Signing off
Nat xx