dear ashton fletcher irwin,
I don't really know if you will be reading this, but whatever.
Ashton, when I saw you with that girl, it hurt. It felt like it was the end of the world. I thought you loved me! Only me! But I realized you didn't. You broke so many promises so ,I did the same. I'm so sorry.
Was I not good enough? I'm sorry I wasn't curvy enough. I'm sorry I wasn't what you wanted. BUT I LOVED YOU ASHTON! all it mattered was that if you love me, then I love you. We don't need sex to complete our relationship.
Why did you kill my dad? He was the only man who loved me besides you. Now that you're gone, I have nothing. Thanks a lot!
The letters I wrote you are part of this suicide letter. Any minute I will pass out. I could feel the pills working inside my body.
I remember when we first met. I was the quiet girl in the class while you were popular. And we got stuck being partners for this project. You got mad that you had to be stuck with a nerd but little did you know that I was gonna be the love of your life.
You started throwing rocks in my window in the middle of the night. I remember the time you got caught in the same room as me in 2 of the morning. It was hilarious seeing you jump out the window.
When you introduced me to your friends, they didn't like me at first because i guess I wasn't pretty but to you I was art. You could look at me all day being amused.
I would hear Michael cry in his room so I would have to cuddle with him in nights. Calum has been smoking again. Luke has been loosing weigh. It's all because of you Ashton, you left.
But it was my fault everyone was turning blue.
That's why i decided to kill myself because it was all my fault.
My dads death was my fault
Your friends sadness was all my fault
Your disappearance was my fault
My death isn't your payback from what you done.
You just have to figure it out.
The first time we made love, it hurt a lot. But I felt a spark. I remember when you freaked out that you forgot to put a condom on so i had to take a pregnancy test.
and it was negative and you were happy.
Why were you happy?
Maybe if I had this baby, you would of been here right now.
Please don't do anything when I'm gone. Promise me you won't kill yourself. Please. Continue your life, find a girl, get married. Continue your life! Please don't die cause of me.
If you do, I won't ever talk to you if there's a heaven or hell.
Just promise me please.
I will always love you Ashton fletcher Irwin.
see you soon
Xxx west coast kale
