There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate

There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate (10)

I sat there for a few minutes, not knowing what I was supposed to do. Was I supposed to get up? Was I supposed to just walk into my cabin and talk with my friends as if nothing had happened? Nothing even happened! Jesse got angry, and he pushed me... He even looked guilty after he had done it...

It wasn't like we were in a relationship or anything. He wasn't my boyfriend, and he wasn't abusing me, so there wasn't anything wrong. I didn't even feel any pain anymore. It had only hurt when he had pushed me against the wall, but it didn't anymore.

My legs felt like jelly, and I didn't feel like getting up. I wanted to, but I just couldn't. I hated when my mind told me to do one thing, but then my body went and did something else.

I still had no idea what I was supposed to do.

What was I supposed to do? That was just so unlike Jesse... He hadn't ever done anything like that before, at least not to me. I was always the one that tried to hurt him, but not the other way around. And it seemed like he didn't even mean to do it!

That look he gave me after he saw what he had done... He looked so guilty and sad. I'd never seen that kind of expression on Jesse Jacobsen's face before, like he had regretted what he had done. And Jesse Jacobsen never regretted anything. Ever.

I continued to wonder and wonder why he had acted so strange as I slowly made my way to Cabin C. There was no point in going back to class, because I knew that I wasn't going to be able to concentrate for the rest of the day. I just wanted to lie down and sleep for a while.

I plopped down on my bed, trying to think. It was all just so... confusing. Before I could close my eyes to try and get some sleep, my phone started buzzing and ringing loudly and annoyingly. I groaned, shoving my hand into my pocket and pulling my phone out, accepting the call and pressing it against my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Jordan, how are things?" the innocent and familiar voice asked. I half smiled, still wanting nothing more than to sleep.

"Hi, Grandma," I said, rubbing my forehead. "Things are good."

"How's Jesse?"

I stared at the ceiling flatly, not really believing she had said that. But then again, it wasn't that big of a surprise. She had been teasing me about Jesse for years... Everyone had been teasing me about Jesse for years. I didn't really understand it.

"He's fine, Grandma."

"That's good. Jordan, are you alright? You sound tired..."

"I'm really tired, that's all," I informed her truthfully. It wasn't a lie, since I actually was tired. I didn't want to talk about Jesse, or anything for that matter, I just wanted sleep. "I was just about to go take a nap..."

"Oh, I'm sorry! I'll call you back then, alright? Have a good sleep, Jordan!" my grandmother apologized, making me smile a little more.

"It's okay. I'll talk to you later. I love you," I sighed, closing my eyes, waiting for sleep to take me over.

Just before I pushed the end call button I heard, "I love you, too, Jordan!"

I dropped the phone to the side of my head, finally welcoming sleep. I continued trying not to think about what had just happened, but I found it incredibly too hard to, and before I knew it, I was being shaken awake by someone who seemed very excited.

I opened my eyes slowly, not wanted to be disturbed. I had fallen asleep, just like I had wanted, but now someone had to wake me up. I swear, if it was Jesse...

At the thought of Jesse, my stomach dropped. What had happened between us earlier still haunted my mind, and I had to admit that I was still a little scared. That look in his eye when he had pushed me, but then the look of regret he showed me after. Ugh, why was I letting this get to me?