There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate

There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate (43)

Graduation was the day that I had been dreading ever since Jesse left. Before he left I didn't really want it to come, but now the thought of walking across the stage and taking my diploma made me sick to my stomach.

And that wasn't even counting the fact that I had to go up and say a speech that I had wrote myself. If someone else had written it for me it wouldn't have been as bad, but it all came from my heart.

My still very broken heart.

Our parents had flown in from California, and now all the girls in Cabin C were scrambling as they got ready and packed up all their things.

I couldn't believe that we were actually leaving the camp the next day. And then only two weeks later I would be going off to Yale.

I still didn't want to go to Yale. It had once been my dream; the one thing that I wanted to do in my life. I knew that once I went to Yale, I'd pretty much be set for life. But now, I didn't want any of that.

I wanted Jesse.

"Today's finally the day!" Molly exclaimed as she continued to run around the room, her hair only half curled as she shoved her clothes into her duffle bag. "Today's the first day of the rest of our lives! Isn't this exciting? It's going to be so much fun!"

Surprisingly, I had gotten up before the seven girls in my cabin and got ready all by myself. Normally I was always the last one to wake up, but I wanted to work on my speech and mope for a while without being bothered by the rest of the girls.

"Does my hair look okay?" I heard Emily asked Yolanda, who timidly nodded at her best friend as she continued to do her hair. The entire cabin was in chaos as everything started to go back to looking like it did before we scattered our stuff around. The entire cabin was becoming bare once again...

This hurt so much more than I thought it would. Even if Jesse was still here, I probably would still been upset. After being at the camp for months... I was attached to it now. I didn't even feel this bad when we had to leave Adeline... I just didn't understand why.

I looked down at the piece of paper I held in my hand, taking deep breaths as my grip on it tightened a little. It was just a stupid speech... No one was going to think anything of it. I'd be up there for a few moments, and then I'd go back down the steps of the stage and sit back down. It wasn't that big of a deal...

But I couldn't help but feel horrible. This was supposed to be Jesse, not me. He had absolutely no problem with going up in front of people, but he wasn't the one making the stupid speech... I was.

I didn't like the dress that I was wearing under my gown, but I guess it didn't really matter very much since no one would see it until later. It was a pretty dress, but I didn't like how it looked on me...

As my thoughts finally faded from the speech, I found myself relaxing. It really wasn't that big of a deal... If I messed up, then I messed up. It would just be how it was supposed to be.

I looked at myself in the mirror, not really believing that I was in a cap and gown. I fingered my valedictorian stole, liking how smooth it was. It reminded me of a big ribbon, and I couldn't help but pull on it just a little as it hung around my neck.

"Okay, we're all ready!" AJ smiled, running out of the bathroom and shoving her hat onto her head. "Do we all have our stuff together? We're not going to leave anything, are we?"

"I'm not ready yet!" Chelsea and Molly called out from the bathroom before anyone could answer AJ's question, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at them as I smiled only slightly. Everyone else was ready but them, of course... But I knew they just wanted to look perfect for the big day.