Foxfire: Veil of the Nine Phantoms

30: Stormcloud IV - Giants of the Lake

May 5 - Melanie

I jumped up to the Hearn's roof to get a better vantage point as the storm front approached from the north. The clouds towered and densified, forming dark thunderheads. Soft raindrops fell, a sign of the coming downpour. Fuyuko floated up to the roof as well, gliding like a snowflake carried by the wind, her kimono billowing in the breeze. The yuki-onna made a chair out of ice and gracefully sat on it with a poised and upright posture. Together we stared at the skyscrapers of downtown Toronto which were bright against the blackness of night.

Great storm clouds swept over the city, stretching across my range of vision from east to west, dark masses hanging overhead to surround the city in growing darkness, threatening to swallow the sky as they swiftly covered the full moon. Distantly, lightning flashed and boomed.

"Fuyuko, do you ever wonder why Satsuki never smiles?" I asked to break the ice (pun absolutely intended).

The yuki-onna shifted her attention to me. "She seems the stiff and proper type."

"I think Satsuki never smiles because the weight of her hair is constantly putting her neck under strain. Plus, can you imagine the maintenance she has to do? She must spend all day taking care of her glorious mane. It's a miracle that she can fight with hair that reaches the ground," I mused, trying to lighten the tension as we watched the storm clouds gather.

"She was in a sour mood earlier today. I just heard Satsuki complaining about how the youth of this city speak English. What was that about?"

I was glad that Fuyuko was receptive to talking with me. In the past, she'd only give me one-word answers. Gradually I was managing to start little conversations with her, and perhaps befriend her slightly. "Oh, she must have heard someone speaking the Toronto Mans dialect while she was out and about. She's an ultra mega boomer, so that kind of stuff probably triggers her sensibilities."

"I've never heard of that before."

"It's just how some people in this city talk. Mind you, don't expect some middle-aged office worker to talk like that. I've used some Toronto slang in front of my parents and they looked at me like I was dumb. Would you believe it if I told you I once dated a Toronto man?"

"And what was that like?"

"I can just remember my first date with him. We ordered pizza together. My friends introduced me to him, and I had no idea he spoke like a Toronto yute." I shapeshifted into the form of a young man wearing streetwear, complete with a Toronto Raptors trucker hat. "Imagine my surprise when I met him and he started saying, 'Wagwan Melanie! You're lookin' like a pretty ting today, eh? Bro, you're so leng shordy, mashallah! She didn't tell me you were a certi sweeter-ting. Holy! Mans are bare marved right now. Don't worry fam. I know the best pizza joint in the 6ix bro, been goin' there from time. We'll nyam there, eh, order one-two pizza margherita slices at Fresca, my favourite in T-dot. It's proper Toronto-style pizza fam, 6ix style. Best ones I've tried in DT TO. The flavour is bussinazz fam.'"

"Bussinazz?"

"I dunno, it sounded like something he would've said."

"What happened to your relationship?"

"I think we weren't meant to be together. Especially after he stole my multivitamins and overdosed on them."

"...Huh?"

"'Wagwan Melanie. This ain't a joke ting. Mans are in the hospital right now fam. Sorry, Mel. I jammed your multivitamin gummies from your crib and ate'em up. Bruh, my gut is a moshup, just bare sick to my stomach fam. Yo, I know you'll be bare cheesed with me, fam. And it's fair for you to be vexed crodie. But I had to gyal. You think I'm bare mod, and I am mod. Wallahi, they're like candy, fam. Mans are bare fried on multivitamins. Wallahi I nyam the whole bottle fam. Yo, my digestive system is bare cooked, eh? Abaay, abaay! Mans are feelin' the pain right now fam! I dunno if mans will live, styll. If mans don't survive, inshallah, mans are gonna be meetin' God. Don't be a marites Mel! Eh, I better not hear you blurpin' and blappin' your beak to your gyaldem, shordy, so don't be a snake. My aboki can't know about this. Say nothin' to my brethren or my mandem about this gazza. They'll call me a kwasia!'"