The Twenty Virtues Book 1- The Twenty Generals

21-The Saint

Mid-20th century. Where the perfect traditional Brazilian family existed: the mother, the father, and many children. What a beginning for Mordame's life, being born into an extremely Catholic family, raised by her parents Ester and Matheus. Obviously, as a child, Mordame had no idea what Christianity was, she only knew the bare basics.

But do you know what the problem is? No one ever taught her why it had to be that way, they just ordered her around, and no one ever taught her that it was a choice; instead, they forced the girl into that life. All the simple biblical questions that Mordame asked, her parents never answered. Ester didn't know how to explain, and Matheus didn't want to. They wanted to force the girl to live their religion, even though they didn't truly know or follow that belief. Like an animal teaching its young to do something by instinct.

Believing in something just because you were told to is not conversion, it's persuasion. It's not faith, it's tradition. A person is only truly part of a religion when they understand the reasoning behind it and follow it by their own choice, out of their own love. Not because they were born into it and became accustomed to that environment.

When Mordame was of a good age, her parents decided to place her in a convent, and she, despite not being interested in the idea at all, accepted because she couldn't disappoint her parents. She accepted because, if she said no, she would be disrespecting everything they had done for her.

She then joined the novitiate, and since she was a good girl, she did well there. She tried her best, always seeking to read the Bible, trying to understand every moral lesson, not realizing that her heart was in the wrong place. You don't read a book trying to see what's behind the lines; you just read what's written, and the lessons come with time. If you force yourself to understand something, you won't understand it, because your anxiety, your obsession, and your fear will prevent you from focusing. When picking up the Bible, Mordame should have just read it, nothing more.

The novice wanted so much to know God that she became obsessed with the idea, and that's why she lived in fear. She was so concerned with avoiding sin that she forgot to seek holiness. She was so focused on not doing wrong that she forgot to focus on doing right.

Did you know that a negative command confuses people much more? A "don't make noise" is a much more open request than a "be quiet" or "speak softly." Imagine a trail that splits into several paths; when you deny one of the paths, the other person still has to choose among the others, but when you point out the path, the other person knows where to go.

A Christian's mind should be like this too. Instead of worrying about sin, what you can't do, and becoming paranoid trying to avoid it, the right thing to do would be to focus on holiness, what you can do, because then you will naturally avoid sin. Don't think, "I can't lie," but instead think, "I must tell the truth."

Mordame passed through her novice phase and became a nun, but even after years, the woman still lived for others and acted out of obligation. She sang in the choir not because she found it beautiful and wanted to participate, but because it was something they told it suited her, and she felt she HAD to do it.

This isn't something that applies only to Christianity, but in all aspects of life. If you do something under the pressure that you have to do it, it won't turn out the best version possible. However, when you go along with the idea and do it understanding why it should be done, then the best possible version will emerge. In work, instead of thinking, "I have to make a solid and concrete introduction..." why not stop putting pressure on yourself? And start thinking, "Okay, how can I introduce this work to the reader?" When something is an obligation, you are already pressured to do it, but that doesn't mean you have to feel pressured while doing it. Take a deep breath, see the task for what it really is, and do it.