Mine

Feelings?

Saarah 

I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, the memory of Charles kissing me came rushing back with vivid intensity. It replayed over and over, like a scene from a movie that I couldn't turn off. My heart raced every time I thought about it—the feel of his lips against mine, the urgency in his touch, the way he'd pulled me so close as if he couldn't stand to let me go. And the truth was, as much as I wanted to dislike it, I couldn't. I didn't. I loved it.

I tossed and turned in bed, pulling the covers up around me one minute, then throwing them off the next. My body was restless, my mind unable to quiet down. It had been the perfect kiss—the best kiss I've ever had, in fact. I could still feel the warmth of his breath, the softness of his lips, and the strength of his hands as he held me. I was so caught up in the moment that I hadn't wanted it to end.

I'm not usually one to be intimate after just one date. I've always been cautious when it came to relationships, especially after everything that had happened in my past. I knew the risks of getting close to someone, of letting my guard down. But with Charles, it had been different. There was something about him that made me want to take that risk, to dive headfirst into the unknown without a second thought. Something inside me just didn't want to pull away.

As I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, I tried to make sense of it all. I tried to understand what it was about Charles that had me feeling this way. He wasn't the type of guy I usually went for—he was arrogant, cocky, and so damn sure of himself. But then there was this other side of him that I'd seen tonight, a side that was sweet and thoughtful, a side that had gone to all that trouble to plan such an incredible evening for me. And the way he looked at me after the kiss, his eyes full of warmth and tenderness—it was so fucking perfect it was like a dream.

But it wasn't a dream. It was real. And I had enjoyed it more than I ever thought I would.

I let out a frustrated sigh, running my fingers through my hair as I sat up in bed. I could still feel the tingle of his lips on mine, the way his touch had sent shivers down my spine. I could still see the intensity in his eyes, the way he looked at me as if I was the only girl in the world. My heart ached with a strange, unfamiliar longing that I wasn't sure how to handle.

Why did this have to be so complicated? Why did I have to feel so drawn to him, even though I knew better? I'd seen what happened when people let themselves get carried away by their emotions. I'd seen how love could tear people apart, how it could leave them broken and scarred. And yet, here I was, unable to stop myself from wanting more.

I grabbed my phone from the bedside table and opened my messages. Nur had texted me earlier, asking how the date went, but I hadn't replied yet. I didn't know what to say. How could I put into words everything I was feeling? How could I explain the mix of excitement and fear that was swirling inside me?

Scrolling through my messages, I noticed a new one from Charles. My heart skipped a beat as I opened it, my hands trembling slightly.

Charles: Can't stop thinking about you. Can't wait to see you again.

I stared at the screen, my mind racing. His words were simple, but they held so much meaning. He was thinking about me. He wanted to see me again. And the thought of that sent a thrill through me that I couldn't ignore.

I typed a response, then deleted it. Typed again, then deleted it once more. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to come off too eager, but I also didn't want to seem indifferent. Finally, I settled on something simple.

Me: Tonight was amazing. 

I hit send before I could second-guess myself, then set my phone back down on the table. I lay back down, staring up at the ceiling, my mind still buzzing with thoughts of Charles. The way he'd looked at me, the way he'd touched me—it was all so intoxicating, so overwhelming. I'd never felt this way before, and it scared me.