Mental Health One Shots

The Bag (Olivia Benson x Y/N)

TW: Toxic relationship
Abuse/ Bruises
Panic
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"Good morning, Y/N." I hear a gentle voice behind me as I stand in front of the apartment door, my head leaning tiredly against the door, my hand resting on the handle and pushing it down.

I visibly flinch and half turn to look over my shoulder, a panicked expression on my face.

When I see my neighbor, I relax a little and try to wipe the shock from my face with a smile.

"Oh, hey Ms. Benson." I say and turn a little more towards her without letting go of the door handle.

"How many times have I told you, you can call me Olivia, honey." She says with a smile and stops in front of me before putting her bag with her Groceries between her legs.

She's probably coming back from a long case and did her shopping on the way back so she wouldn't have to go out for the Rest of the day.
I've met her in the hallway a few times after one of these tough cases the next morning and she told me how she recovers from such missions, how her day ends, when I just start mine.
I admire her for what she does for people and how much she sacrifices for it.

Her gaze wanders over my face and she furrows her eyebrows while concern flashes in her dark eyes.

"Are you okay, Y/N? You look pretty agitated and tired." She asks and I feel myself blushing.

I have no idea how I look to her right now, but I can imagine.
My makeup is probably smeared and my hair is messed up.
I didn't have time to fix my appearance.

I hope that nothing else has left marks on my face, but just to be safe, I raise my free hand and push a few strands of hair over my left cheek.
I press my lips together and search for the right words to calm her down.

She shouldn't worry about me, nobody has to.
But she certainly doesn't.
She's always so sweet and kind to me.

"It's all fine, Ms... I mean Olivia. I just did some exercise to start the day, it was pretty exhausting and I haven't had time to freshen up yet." I say with a quiet laugh, hoping to be able to explain my appearance.

Olivia's gaze wanders briefly over my body, looks at the loose sweater and the ripped jeans I'm wearing, stops at my bare feet and then meets my eyes again.

"Aha." She says slowly, sounding unconvinced.
She folds her arms in front of her body and tilts her head slightly as she looks at me intensely. "So what are you doing here in the hallway?
You look completely frozen. A warm shower would do you good, wouldn't it?"
She looks at my bare feet again and only now do I notice that my whole body is shaking from the cold.

I've gotten so used to the feeling that I've hardly noticed it before.

I get nervous under her gaze, I feel so seen, too seen.

"I forgot my key." I mumble, embarrassed, and look at the floor as my grip on the door handle tightens.
"Oh, and Chris can't let you in?" She asks, surprised, her eyebrows furrowed doubtfully.

I can feel myself getting more and more nervous.
I'm so bad at lying, damn it.

"Yes, of course...he should be back soon. He's...with a...friend." I lie, not daring to look at her.

"Honey, how about I make you a coffee?
After a bit of "exercise" it can't do any harm, can it?" She asks, and the way she says it makes it clear that she didn't believe a word I said.