Like Real People Do - John Shelby x SI/OC || Peaky Blinders

I : I

In every young woman's life, there comes a moment when she yearns for her own knight in shining armor. We are captivated by the enchanting fairy tales, but as we grow older, our yearning transforms into a resolute determination to carve our own path. However, for some of us, the longing for a fairy tale ending never fades, and that's perfectly alright. The allure of a genuine fairy tale is comforting, and while it may not always come to fruition, the possibility is a wondrous thing.

I have never experienced anything like that. Perhaps it was because I was still in my formative years, navigating my way through high school while constantly daydreaming. I found solace in the world of my imagination, preferring its allure to the harshness of reality. I realize now that it may not have been the healthiest coping mechanism, but it was my way of coping with the chaos of the real world.

Following the absolute chaos that was the COVID-19 pandemic, I found myself clinging to my dreams even more fervently in an attempt to escape the overwhelming loneliness that had settled in. Confined within the walls of my home, I struggled to find solace, with a mother who couldn't comprehend my feelings and an absent father who just drank all the time and was more worried about his whiskey than ensuring there was food on the table for his family. I hated my house. I hated my parents more than I probably should have but it was hard to suffer in the hell that was them.

A father who seemed to have trouble recalling that he had three children and a mother who was constantly yelling and complaining about how unjust her life was, while her husband failed to give her any attention. Instead of leaving him and prioritizing the happiness and well-being of her children, she remained in the situation.

The confinement within the house with them had significantly impacted my mental well-being. I longed for the presence of my grandparents and my aunt Clara, as they were the only ones who made the effort to support and lend an ear during times when I was unable to cope. Being an eleven-year-old girl in an unstable and emotionally and mentally abusive home was hard. It was hard being forced to stay in it with such instability day in and day out all while being screamed at and in fear-inducing actions just for even existing really causes people to just shrink away.

I've been shrinking my whole life but Covid made me escape into my mind just so I keep living in the only way I knew how. I obsessed over fictional lives. I wished on stars. I made wishes on lion flower fluff and loose eyelashes and just about every single thing I could think of. Even when Covid was over and we could return to our daily lives, the damage was already done. I had fallen so deep in my obsession, that I could not step away. I wished so desperately I could live it in my dreams every time I closed my eyes.

Harmless little wishes.

Six years later, at 16 years old, I still yearn for my dreams to comfort me. I lived many lives. I lived as Sabrina Lovegood, a young witch with a penchant for adventure, and I fell deeply in love with Fred Weasley, the mischievous redhead with a heart of gold. I ran through the grounds of Hogwarts, feeling the wind in my hair and the thrill of magic coursing through my veins.

I dashed across the lush, green fields of the Shire, feeling the soft, cool grass beneath my bare feet as Frodo Baggin's sister.

I was a daughter of the House of Dragon, and Arya Starks best friend. I chased alongside Clary hunting shadows. I sang Eye of the Tiger at the top of my lungs with Dean in his baby. I underwent rigorous training sessions under the guidance of the legendary Tony Stark, honing my skills to become his trusted sidekick.

In the realm of my dreams, I inhabited multiple existences, each one cherished for the solace it bestowed upon me. However, occasionally, I yearned for a dream of ordinary life, one that would reenact history, and longed for the notion of an exhilarating existence. For a time, I wanted to be a character in Downton Abbey or in Bridgeton. Just a regular girl living in history. Perhaps that's what got me into the Peaky Blinders. A fictional life inside actual history.