Today was boring. My saxophone was motionless and so was I. It seemed that I'd spent the whole day scrolling on Devilgram.
"Hey hey hey!" I could hear Diavolo screaming from the entrance. I went downstairs to hear what he had to say. "Are you ready do do the thing Lucifer?" Diavolo said with a wink. "Oh, but of course!" Lucifer said in a girly tone. "What are you guys doing?" I asked. "Uhh... We're..." Diavolo started. "...Watching a movie!" Lucifer finished. "Oh! That sounds fun, can I join you?!" I asked. This seemed like a great escape from boredom. "Umm..." Lucifer started. "Sure! The more the merrier!" Diavolo said resulting in Lucifer staring at him. "Oh goodie!" I said. "I'll go grab Saxy Sandra!". "Who?" Lucifer asked. "My saxophone of course! Did you not know her name?" I responded. "She would be devastated if you didn't know her name" I mentioned. "Whatever, Diavolo and I are driving to his place, you can Uber." Lucifer said. "I think I'll take a two person bicycle, it seems more convenient." I responded. Lucifer blinked at me and left with Diavolo.
I ran upstairs, grabbed Saxy Sandra, some rope, and rollerblade, then headed outside. Once outside I tied one end of the rope to the bike and the other end to the rollerblade. I put on a bike helmet and gave my saxophone a condom as a helmet. "Safety first!" I said sassily. I put her in the rollerblade and started zooming.
We got halfway there when we got to the flower field. "We can't bike on that!" I exclaimed. We instead ran down the field Little House on the Prairie style. We giggled as we reached the end. We had to run back up to collect the bike. The second time we went down we rolled. When we reached the end we were giggling again and landed in each other's arms. We looked into each other's eyes and stopped giggling. Not to brag or anything but, yeah, we made out. She tasted like baja blast.
We eventually made it to his crib and we had to wait for them to arrive. There must be traffic. "Traffic? Barely know 'er!" I exclaimed. She didn't get it. "y'know, because the word 'traffic' ends in an 'er' sound- wait..." I realised as I looked down, thoughtfully stomping my foot.
Diavolo and Lucifer showed up. "Traffic? Barely know-! nevermind..." I started. "I'll show you to my home theater" Diavolo said. I followed him to a hallway filled with candy, popcorn, and soda. "Help yourself!" Diavolo said. "Oh boy, I will!" I said, rubbing my hands together maniacally. I grabbed a popcorn bucket and slyly cut a circle out of the bottom. I had ideas. I than filled the bucket, grabbed a Sprite Cranberry, and some dip'n'dots and went into the theater.
"Oh boy! What are we watching today!" I asked. "We're watching Yung Smelldon!" He announced. "Gee Wilikers! I love that show!" I exclaimed. "Good, because I just bought all the seasons!" Diavolo said, almost as overjoyed as I was. The show started. I could hear 'I am a mighty little man' as I was struggling to fit my MEAT into the hole I cut out of the popcorn bin. The episode was amazing, so I decided it was time to fool Saxy.
"Heyyyy... Do you want some popcornnnn?" I asked her. She didn't respond. "Please?" I continued. "You will eat the popcorn." I stated with my alpha voice. She didn't even move. The nerve. "EAT THE POPCORN!!!" I yelled. Lucifer and Diavolo looked back at me. "shut up Asmo!" Lucifer said. I looked down at him, his hand in the popcorn bucket on Diavolos crotch. "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE MORE LIKE THEM?!?!⁉️. I angrily asked to my saxophone. "That's it. You're out!" Lucifer yelled.
He went into my row and tugged on my hand. He lifted my to my feet wich caused all of the popcorn in the bucket to fall out, reaving my meat to the whole gang. The background noise "it bit me!" From the show will always ring in my head as I remember this embarrassing moment. "So... Do y'all wanna have an orgy?" I asked.
