A Soldier's Silent Struggle: From Hidden Pain to Hopeful Resilience

The beginning

My journey with anxiety and depression didn't begin with a single event; it's been a series of heartaches and losses that built up over time, slowly chipping away at the person I once was. It all started when I was still in college, during what should have been the happiest and most carefree years of my life. Instead, I was burdened with a secret so heavy that it changed me forever.

One day, I stumbled upon the truth: my father, the man I idolized, had been having an affair. To make matters worse, there was a child involved—a half-sibling I never knew existed. The revelation hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like the ground had been pulled out from under me. How could the man I admired be capable of such betrayal? But instead of confronting the situation, I chose to hide it. I kept it all inside, too ashamed and afraid to tell my mother. I thought that if I didn't say anything, maybe the problem would just disappear.

But secrets have a way of coming out, and when my mother eventually learned the truth, it devastated her. She fell into a deep depression, and the loving, strong woman I once knew became a shadow of herself. I watched helplessly as my parents' marriage unraveled before my eyes. The guilt was unbearable—I blamed myself for their separation, for the constant fighting that ensued. My mother, who had once been my rock, now seemed fragile and broken. I felt as though I had lost both of my parents in one fell swoop.