UNSPOKEN REALITIES

ONE MORE

It all began with one.

The disruption in my sleep schedule was profoundly affecting my well-being. I couldn't rest properly and, most of the time, I only managed to sleep four hours. Every day, I felt exhausted and tormented. Fed up with this situation, I sought a solution that I thought would be effective. I began taking one before bed. I felt it was working; I managed to sleep a bit more, increasing from four hours to six, and sometimes even seven. I could attend my classes without feeling as debilitated by lack of sleep.

One More

Over time, I realized that I could only stop thinking when I was asleep; it seemed that the only relief I found during my days was during sleep. At school, it became impossible to concentrate in class. My mind was overwhelmed with too many thoughts, and I felt that a misstep could trigger a panic attack. It seemed like only a thin thread was holding together all the pain I had been suppressing since the start of the day. I wondered: why only take it at night? One more, I thought, I'll take one during the day and another at night.

One More

I decided to distance myself from everything; I moved away. I left behind what I believed was the cause of my torment. I was mistaken; instead of finding relief, I began to overthink even more. I stopped taking it in the morning and started taking two at night, hoping to reduce my intrusive thoughts and improve my sleep schedule.

One More

What is happening? I feel like they're not selling me the right ones. Two pills barely have any effect; could it be because I consume too much caffeine? I don't think so. I haven't slept well for the past two weeks. I don't want to make a mistake, and I feel somewhat anxious. Wouldn't one more be harmful? Just one more shouldn't be too bad. I only want to sleep enough to stop feeling tired every day.

One More...

I've been able to sleep well, from seven to eight hours, sometimes even ten. But the day feels too long; seconds seem like hours, and there's too much time to overthink. Maybe one more could shorten the day. I'll only do it once, just for today. My mind is overwhelmed, so it will only be for today.

???

Some time has passed, and I feel a bit unwell, though I don't think it's related to this. Everything around me just makes me sick. I'm currently taking two a day, but yesterday, for a moment, I had ten in hand. I put eight back and kept only two. This isn't going to solve my problems.