Feel Pretty

six

The days following my "shopping adventure" with Everly passed by in a blur of routine. Classes, lunch, studying, and the occasional hangout with Eli and Tanner. I had almost convinced myself that the uncomfortable encounter with Chloe and her crowd hadn't left a lasting mark. But every time I caught a glimpse of myself in a reflective surface, her cruel words echoed in my mind.

"Ugly."

The sting of it was still there, lurking beneath the surface, waiting for the quiet moments to creep back in. But I had gotten pretty good at shoving those thoughts down, locking them away in some hidden part of my mind where they couldn't hurt me. Or so I thought.

It was a Friday when I found myself alone in the library after class. Eli had a project meeting, and Tanner had already headed to the gym. Normally, I would've gone straight home, but something about the quiet solace of the library drew me in. Maybe it was the need to escape my own thoughts, or maybe it was the comforting smell of old books that reminded me of simpler times.

I wandered through the aisles aimlessly, letting my fingers brush over the spines of countless books. It was a calming ritual, one that allowed my mind to drift away from the harsh reality of my insecurities.

Just as I was about to pull out a random novel to settle down with, I felt a presence beside me. I turned to find Eli standing there, a soft smile on his face.

"Hey," he greeted, his voice low and soothing in the quiet of the library.

"Hey," I replied, surprised to see him. "I thought you had a meeting?"

"It got canceled," he explained, leaning casually against the shelf. "So I figured I'd find you. Knew you'd probably be here."

I nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "Yeah, just needed some quiet."

He studied me for a moment, his eyes searching mine as if he could see right through the façade I was trying to maintain. "You sure you're okay?"

I hesitated, the urge to brush off his concern almost automatic. But something about the way he was looking at me, the genuine care in his eyes, made me falter. "I'm fine," I said, though my voice lacked conviction.

"Odell," he said softly, taking a step closer. "You don't have to pretend with me. If something's bothering you, you can tell me."

I looked away, my gaze falling to the floor as I struggled with the whirlwind of emotions inside me. "It's just... what Chloe said. It got to me more than I want to admit."

He was silent for a moment, and I felt the tension in the air, thick and heavy. Then, without a word, he reached out and gently took my hand, his thumb brushing over my knuckles in a comforting gesture.

"Odell," he began, his voice steady but filled with a warmth that wrapped around me like a blanket. "You're not what she said. You're not ugly. You're... you're incredible. And it kills me to see you believe anything less."

I blinked, my throat tightening at his words. "But I don't see it, Eli. I don't see what you see."

He squeezed my hand, pulling me just a little closer. "I know you don't, but that doesn't mean it's not true. I wish you could see yourself the way I do. Because when I look at you, Odell, I see someone who's kind, and beautiful, and stronger than he realizes."

I looked up at him, my heart pounding in my chest. There was something in his eyes, something deeper than just concern for a friend. It was as if he was trying to show me the truth, to make me believe it, even if I couldn't see it myself.

"Eli..." I started, my voice trembling. "Why do you care so much?"

He smiled softly, his eyes never leaving mine. "Because you matter to me, Odell. More than you know."

For a moment, I forgot where we were. The library, the books, the world around us—all of it faded away until it was just me and Eli, standing there with my hand in his, his words sinking into my heart.

But as the warmth of his words settled in, a darker thought pushed its way to the surface. "I don't know... Maybe I don't deserve it," I whispered, the words slipping out before I could stop them.

Eli's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

I swallowed hard, the bitter taste of my next words already forming. "If Diana were still here... I mean, she was the beautiful one. She had the smile that lit up a room, the kind of beauty that was impossible to ignore. Next to her, I was... nothing. And now that she's gone, it's like people are trying to see something in me that isn't there. They're just trying to fill a void she left."

The words hung heavy in the air between us, and I could feel the old wound opening again, the pain I had tried so hard to bury rising to the surface.

Eli's grip on my hand tightened, grounding me. "Odell," he said, his voice gentle but firm. "You are not a replacement for anyone. Not for Diana, not for anyone. You're your own person, and that's more than enough."

"But—" I started, but he cut me off, his gaze intense.

"No 'buts,'" he insisted. "You're not in Diana's shadow. You're standing in your own light, even if you don't see it yet. And honestly, she'd be the first one to tell you that."

I looked at him, the sincerity in his eyes making it hard to argue. "Do you really think so?"

"I know so," Eli replied, his voice softening. "Diana... she loved you. And she'd hate to see you beating yourself up like this. She'd want you to see what she saw—what I see. That you're beautiful, Odell. Inside and out. And nothing that Chloe or anyone else says can change that."

His words wrapped around me like a protective shield, easing the ache in my chest. I nodded slowly, trying to let his reassurance sink in. "I just... it's hard sometimes, you know?"

"I know," he said softly, his thumb still tracing soothing circles on the back of my hand. "But you're not alone. I'm here, Odell. And I'm not going anywhere."

I managed a small, tentative smile. "Thank you, Eli."

"Anytime," he replied, returning the smile with one of his own—a smile that made the world feel just a little bit brighter.