I was terrified when we got into the car but I wasn't terrified in the sense that he would hurt me only terrified because it was my first time outside since before my mom had died.
I didn't know what to expect anymore, I felt like a newborn child out in the middle of the world forced to fend for myself. Not knowing what to do or how to act, having to sit in the car right next to my dad and not say anything, not even have the radio on was terrifiying and silent.
We got to the Mall and I instantly froze, I couldn't move or speak. I didn't want to go in there, I didn't want to see people I knew or anyone for that matter! My dad noticed I wasn't getting out of the car and told the lady, who I still don't know her name, to go in and we would catch up later. That was a lie, there was no way in hell I was going into that crowded mall!
"I can't go in there..."
I trailed off as my dad took hold of my shoulder lightly.
"What's wrong?"
He sounded and looked concerned but after what had happened over the past two days, I wasn't to sure of his emotions lately.
"I haven't been out since, well mom died. I'm scared!"
I jumped into his arms not realizing what I was going or why I was hugging my dad. I genuenly can't remember the last time I hugged him and meant it. I can remember lots of times where I hugged him because it made my mom feel better knowing that at least we were stil getting along, but the truth was I never liked him after he started yelling at her for no reason and just treating her like she meant nothing to him! To me It felt like he never really loved her, he never cared about me or her or if we died he wouldn't care. Well I knew that was true now, I knew he didn't care, though I still didn't get why he put on such an act infront of this woman. Ever since I saw her this morning he's been nice and caring to me. Ha, only took 15 years!
"Sweetie, listen to me" He sat back in the car and shut the door.
"I know what you saw when your mom was in the garage was hard, but it had to be done. She wasn't meant to be part of our family and she wouldn't let me take you with me. She wouldn't cooperate so I had to kill her. If I would have taken you without killing your mother, she would have told the cops you were kidnapped which wasn't the case. I'm sorry you had to witness that sweetie!"
He was rubbin my back which I hated, I hated what he was saying and all the tihings he said about mother! None of it was true, he was a dirty liar and I didn't want to be with him anymore!
I wanted to leave and be with mom, I wanted her to hold me in her arms and tell me everything was going to be okay and he wouldn't take me away anymore! Why did he have to do this to our family? He had the story all wrong, he did this to us, mom had nothing to do with it! She was always so kind and sweet yet when he came into the picture after mom's first husband (my first daddy wich I loved so much) died in a gas leak at work. I loved him so much, I was proud to call him 'dad', I hate calling Tyler my dad he killed my mom for God's sake!!!
I ran out of the car and into the mall. I tried my best to try to find the bathroom's and that woman almost saw me. She turned just as I ducked into the hallway labeled 'Restrooms'.
I stood in the corner of the huge stall all the way in the back of the bathroom, I sat for three minutes wondering, waiting for the lady to find me and tell dad. I was terrified now that he would hurt me, all the memories of my dad hitting and abusing my mother came back to me now.....
*flash back*
"Why do you have to be so fucking stupid?! Seriously your being rediclous!!!"
I heard my mom's voice screaming at my dad, I couldn't see her tears but I could hear it in her voice. She never liked it when people critisized her because she could never handle it like a normal person would, having my dad yell at her 24/7 wasn't helping that situation.
"Rae, I swear if you tell me one more time I'm wrong you will regret ever saying the words that you just said you dirty mutt!"
I heard crashing and instantly hid my face in my covers on my bed. My dad was threatining her and I could tell she was bawling her eyes out clearly scared and worried as to what he would do to her.
*End of flash back*
I was scared as I stood in the bathroom stall, memories of my mom and dad's fights circling my head forcing me to think of every detail and how I would never see my mother agian. I don't even know what I'm doing wasting my time, after I bolted out of the car I'm surly to get killed and I will be wtih my mother and never have to be with this dirty, nasty, liar ever again!
I looked around the bathroom and checked underneath the door to see if anyone was in the bathroom, once the coast was clear I slowly walked out of the bathroom and steathly walked towards the food court near the enterance of the mall. I was trying not to look scared but apparently I did the exact opposite because someone tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if I was okay. It took me awhile to recognize the voice, I was too scared to turn around and be face by my dad or that stupid lady that always followed Tyler around!
"Are you okay, is it Marcie?"
I slowly turned when I didn't recognize the voice and I almost screamed. Out of terror or excitement I'm not sure but I was again some kind of terrified!
"R-Raina.....?!"
I almost wispered and covered my mouth because I didn't know if she was actually standing if front of me or if I was starting to halusintate from all the stress today.
"Marcie? I haven't seen you in forever! I-well I thought you died, you got pulled out of school for a week and three days! You missed graduation!!!"
She frowned a tear forming in her eye, I couldn't hold in the tears any longer I was crying and debating wether to hug her or not. I really didn't like people touching me other than my mother, and Raina when we were close.
"Hi Raina, I need your help!"
We walked back towards the bathroom when the woman looked at me and started walking towards us, I told her to run and we bolted out of the mall, with her right on our tail!
