Forbidden Serenade: Final Notes (Book 3)

Chapter Thirteen

At the end of my week alone, I sat at the bar in Logan's restaurant, drinking a beer. I felt too dead inside to think up something fruity and fun to drink. After my conversation with Leo yesterday, I questioned everything I'd done. Would Elijah have stood by me while James tried to destroy his career? Or would he have viewed the relationship destructive and given up? He had plenty of options. He didn't need to deal with my drama.

Picking up the bottle, my nose scrunched at the taste of the beer I forced myself to swallow. I wanted to forget for one night. One hour. One minute.

Earlier today, Elijah left a voicemail for the first time. Hearing his voice made my heart attempt to leap out of my chest to destroy itself. The hurt in his voice was forever engrained in my mind. I had caused that.

"Riley. It's Elijah. You're not responding to my messages. I'm going overseas soon. I want...I need to talk to you. We can figure this out, okay? I love you. You know that. Call me so we can figure this out. Please."

I listened to the message repeatedly. My fingers had hovered over his name on my phone for hours. It took everything in me not to call him. If I did, I knew he'd convince me to return. As much as my entire soul longed for that, it meant I would lose my kids. James had taken them from me once. He would do it again. And he'd destroy Elijah's life in the process. I'd rather die a hundred deaths than allow James to hurt Elijah because he loved me.

It all came back to me. This whole thing was my fault. I'd let Elijah in. I'd started the affair with him when I knew how it would end.

My eyes wandered toward the end of the bar. My mind brought forth the image of Elijah sitting there that first time he visited. He'd sat there with a black hat pulled low over his face, his brown hair falling on either side. Wearing jeans, a black shirt, and a black leather jacket, he'd looked both stunningly handsome and dangerous. As I approached, he smirked with his full red lips, which looked too big for his face.

"I wanted to see you."

My heart stopped as a lump jammed in my throat. I blinked rapidly at the tears that filled my eyes and obscured my imaginary vision of him. Grabbing desperately for my beer, my hand knocked into the bottle. It wobbled before my fingers wrapped around it and I forced myself to take a long drink.

"Pace yourself, sis." Logan plopped down on the stool beside me. "It's still early. What are you? A newbie?"

Setting the bottle onto the bar with a thud, I stared straight ahead. I didn't trust myself to look at him and remain in control. I also couldn't look at the ghost of Elijah.

Logan bumped his shoulder into mine. "You alright?"

I shook my head, unable to speak.

Logan leaned in closer as his voice rose with worry. "What's wrong? What's going on?"

My bottom lip trembled, and I bit down hard on it. It took me a moment to get my emotions under control enough to speak. "Elijah and I broke up." Despite my efforts, my voice made the vocal crack of my heart breaking on his name.

"Oh wow," Logan said, sitting up. "I'm sorry." He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. "I didn't know it was anything serious. I thought it was just a fling. You know, a rebound after James."

Turning into him, I buried my face in his chest and soaked in the familiar comfort of my brother. "It was, at first. But it grew into....into..." I sniffled as the first tear of the night slid from my eye. "I love him." It wasn't loved. It never would be. My feelings for him were never-ending. For the rest of my life, my heart would continue a drumbeat of longing for him. I would forever question what could have been. What should have been. My soul would never be complete. It would long for its other half that I couldn't give it. I was nothing more than words without a melody. My song would never again be complete.