Forbidden Serenade: Final Notes (Book 3)

Chapter Thirty-One

Silence is deafening.

After Elijah left, I broke down. Curled up on my couch, I was consumed by a pain so intense it felt like my very soul was being torn apart. Mercifully, I eventually passed out. When I woke in the morning, my eyes swollen and my heart shattered, I held onto a fragile hope that he would call. He always called. All day, I sat in a haze of anticipation, clinging to the thought that we could talk this through. It was the only thing saving me from tumbling into uncontrollable sobs.

He never did.

He didn't call the next day, either.

The entire week, my phone sat taunting me with its silence. I sent him a few text messages.

I'm sorry. I was just trying to protect my kids.

Can we talk?

I'm so sorry I hurt you. Please let me make it up to you.

He never responded.

No phone calls.

No text messages.

Just silence.

My children returned after a depressing week full of me crying alone. I did nothing but sit in the evenings and realize every single word Elijah said was true. James and I were divorced, and I was still allowing him to dictate my life. When I dared to defy him, he used threats and insults to get his way. And I'd let him. Why was I so scared to stand up to him? Why hadn't I asked Elijah for help?

I was so obsessed with Elijah's age and past, I never stopped to look at my own issues. Why did it matter what others thought about our age gap? I loved him. He made me happy. It didn't matter what strangers thought. James had engrained that in my mind. I always had to keep up appearances and never embarrass him or the kids.

I was no longer required to live up to his expectations. Why was I hanging onto them?

Elijah had faced his past. He'd conquered the demons that had hurt him as a child. I hadn't moved on from the divorce. Even when I'd first met Elijah, I had lived under the delusional thought that somehow James would return to put our family back together. I'd blamed myself and my weight and my failings for what happened between us because that's what he said.

But it wasn't my fault.

Lying and keeping the truth from Elijah was my fault. I had screwed up, and I knew it. I was hopeful he'd talk to me and allow me to apologize. To work things out. I knew how much I'd hurt him, though. Not only had I repeatedly sided with my ex instead of him, but I had also broken my promise not to hide things from him. Mason's sister, Bridgette, had left a terribly deep scar in his heart. She'd deceived him and had an abortion without even telling him. I knew about it and still hid things from him.

I should have gone straight to Elijah with the problem. He'd been so amazing to me, and I'd been too blind to see it. Leo had known and advised me to tell Elijah. I should have listened. My list of regrets was long. It was stupid to think I could fight alone. Together, Elijah and I could have conquered anything.

I wouldn't have the chance now. He wouldn't speak to me. I had hurt him so badly he was choosing to cut me out completely.

While I sat at home analyzing everything I did wrong, Elijah had a different agenda after we broke up.

He went out.

Pictures and videos emerged of Elijah at various nightclubs, restaurants, and celebrity hotspots. Mason, Jay, Aiden, Sterling Youngworth, and a handful of other people I didn't know joined him. The media ran headlines of the members of Drenched Uprising, celebrating their completed tour and Elijah's new single status. Somehow, the press knew we had broken up. There was a video that someone had sneakily taken inside a club. Elijah sat next to Sterling Youngworth, smoking a joint. As he turned toward the camera, despite the media portrayal of Elijah as a drug using party boy, I saw the dullness in his once bright blue eyes. He looked like a different person than I had known. He looked older. His smile was gone, and he looked vacant. Like an empty shell missing the life that once lived inside it.