See you in the Aisle!

Chapter 21

The days stretched on,

A curious mix of calm and storm,
A gentle hand in the storm,
In the end, was the quiet a bridge or a thorn?

The days that followed the confrontation were strange. Marcus checked in on me a few times, texting to ask if I was okay, but I kept telling him I could handle it. Matteo, on the other hand, stayed silent. Part of me expected that, and another part was relieved. The silence gave me space to think clearly, to process everything without the weight of our unresolved issues hanging over my head.

New Year's Eve was bittersweet. I spent it with my family, trying to enjoy the moment, but there was this constant ache gnawing at me. The next day, I had to leave for Japan, and I knew I couldn't go without seeing Matteo one last time. There were things left unsaid, things that needed to be cleared up before I could move on.

On the way to the airport, a friend who owned a car offered to drop me off. I asked them to make a quick stop at Matteo's condo. As the elevator climbed to his floor, I felt my heart pounding in my chest. I called him as I stepped out of the elevator.

"Hey, are you home?" I asked, my voice betraying the nervousness I felt.

"Yeah," he replied, sounding surprised.

I rang the doorbell, and when the door opened, Matteo stood there, his face showing a mixture of shock and confusion. I offered him a small smile. "Can we talk? Don't worry, it'll only take a minute."

He nodded silently and stepped aside, letting me in. We sat on the couch in the living room, the same place where we'd shared countless moments together. But now, it felt cold, foreign even. The space was the same, but everything between us was different.

I took a deep breath, looking around the room before turning to him. "Matt, I'll be on my way back to Japan soon. I wanted to clear things up before I leave."

He didn't say anything, but his expression told me he knew what was coming.

"I know things between us haven't been great," I began, my voice steady, though I could feel the cracks forming. "And I'm really sorry for what happened that night. But I won't apologize for how I felt. That was real. That's how I've truly felt for a long time now."

Matteo's gaze dropped to the floor, his hands clasped tightly in his lap. I pushed forward, knowing I had to get it all out before I lost my courage. "And just so you know, I'm not flirting with your cousin. Yes, I found comfort in him, but that's all it was. I needed someone to talk to, and he was there. That's it."

Still, he remained silent, and I could feel my heart sinking further. It was clear he had already resigned himself to this outcome.

"I think it's best for us to part ways," I said, my voice trembling now. "Don't you think?"

His eyes met mine briefly, then darted away. I could tell he didn't want to say it, but he didn't argue either. His silence said everything. "What's best for each of us doesn't really work when we're together anymore," I added, trying to hold myself together.

The silence in the room was suffocating. I stood up, my legs shaky, and looked down at him, waiting for something—anything—from him. But Matteo just sat there, staring down at the floor, his expression blank, as if he had nothing left to say. No fight, no tears, just emptiness.

I moved to give him a hug, a final gesture of goodbye, but he didn't react. He just sat there, unmoving, like he had already made peace with this. My hand hovered over his shoulder for a moment, but I pulled it back, unsure of what to do. In the end, I just gave him a small tap and whispered, "I'll go ahead."

With that, I turned and left, feeling the weight of every step as I walked out of the door. The elevator doors closed, and the moment they did, I broke down. The tears came in a flood, and I couldn't stop them. It hurt so much more than I had expected, but what hurt the most was that Matteo didn't show any emotion. He didn't even try to stop me, to fight for us. It was as if he had already known this was going to happen, and he wasn't willing to do anything to change it.

Throughout the flight back to Japan, I stared out of the window, lost in my thoughts. I couldn't cry anymore—I had no tears left. But the ache was still there, deep in my chest, gnawing at me. The memories of us played over and over in my mind, and I couldn't help but wonder how we had ended up here. How had we let everything fall apart?

When I finally arrived at my apartment, it felt emptier than ever. I dropped my bags at the door and went straight to my bed. I lay there, staring up at the ceiling, the silence deafening. The tears started again, and this time, there was no holding them back.

After all these years, I was alone again. Completely, utterly alone.

A week had passed since I left everything behind, yet the weight of it all still lingered. I found myself walking along the Kamo River, a place I often came to clear my mind. And there, on the bench where we'd sat so many times before, was Marcus. He looked the same as always—calm, collected, as if he had been waiting for me all along. It was a strange sense of déjà vu, like I was walking back into a dream I couldn't shake.

The dream where I was marrying him.

He saw me standing there, lost in thought, and waved me over with that easy smile of his. "Hey, I've been waiting for you," he said.

I smiled back, my chest tightening just a little. "I know. All you ever did was wait for me."

He scooted over on the bench, making room for me as I sat down beside him. The river was calm today, the gentle flow of water mirroring the quiet between us.

"How are things?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Well, painful," I replied, keeping my voice steady. "But I'll just have to deal with it."

He nodded, looking out over the water. "You know, he loves you so much, right?"

I exhaled deeply, knowing it was true, but also knowing love wasn't always enough. "Yeah, I loved him so much too. But love isn't everything in a relationship. We lacked... so many other things."

"I know." He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I was left too, you know."

We both chuckled at that. "Well, I guess we're a duo now—a broken duo."

He laughed softly, and for a moment, it felt good to laugh, even if it was at the expense of our broken hearts.

I gazed out at the river, feeling a strange kind of peace amidst all the chaos. "Do you know that a mirrorball is made of pieces of broken glass put together to make something truly extraordinary?" I said, my voice light but hopeful.

Marcus glanced at me, then grinned. "I know it's a metaphor, but I don't get it," he teased, leaning back on the bench.

I rolled my eyes, laughing at his playful response. "Let's both pick up our pieces and create a mirrorball here in Kyoto," I said, feeling a bit of joy creeping back into my chest as I looked out at the beautiful scenery, the city lights reflecting off the water.

He looked at me for a long moment, then nodded, his eyes softening. "I like that." There was a pause, and then he added with a smirk, "You're an English teacher, alright."

I nudged him playfully, laughing at the tease, but for the first time in a long while, I felt lighter. Maybe we were just two broken people trying to figure it all out, but together, sitting by the river, it didn't seem so hopeless anymore.