Rules for Dating a Meme Guardian (an Smg34 fanfic)

Say Nothing

"Alright, that's it!" Meggy slams her hands on the table. "You two have been awfully secretive these past few weeks. What are you guys up to?" Smg3 and Smg4 sat on the other end of the table. Just a few minutes ago, the two were called to the kitchen for "food." "You know, If I knew we'd be getting interrogated before we got a meal, I would've stayed at home." Smg3 said, obviously annoyed that he'd been lied to. Smg4, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. Everything they'd been working their ass off to hide could be revealed in seconds, especially when lawyer Meggy kicked in. He knew he stood no chance against Meggy when she was in lawyer mode, so he sat by and decided to let Smg3 do the talking. "You'll get your food once you tell us the truth." Meggy responded, not backing down. "Yeah no, screw that. I'm going." Smg3 got up to leave, but Meggy stopped him. "Leave and I let Mario make scrambled eggs out of Eggdog." Smg3 stares at her in disbelief. "You. Wouldn't. Dare." Meggy narrowed her eyes. "Try me." She challenged, and the two got into a rather intense staredown. Silence filled the room as the staredown seemed to last forever. "I don't believe you." Smg3 spat as he narrowed his eyes at Meggy, seemingly not backing down. Meggy raised an eyebrow smugly and called out "Oh Mariooooo?" In less than two seconds, Mario was in the room, with Eggdog tied to a frying pan. "Am I cooking him now?" Mario asked. Smg3 immediately broke into a panic when he saw Eggdog tied up. "Let him go now or I'll beat your ass! Smg3 threatened and got ready to jump the fat Italian, but was blocked by Meggy. "Then you need to explain why you two have been so secretive these past two weeks." Smg3 looked at her, mentally preparing to put on a front. "What the hell are you talking about? We haven't been secretive about anything." Smg3 responded, still in position to tackle Mario. Meggy rolled her eyes, unhappy with Smg3's denial. "Oh please, you can't fool me, Smg3. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You two always seem to be on edge, one of you is always nowhere to be found, and then when one of you disappears, the other pops up completely out of nowhere!" Smg4's eyes widen. Meggy was already on to them. It was only a matter of time until she put the pieces together or got a confession out of them. Which, since she was only questioning Smg3, didn't seem like it would happen. Smg4 knew well that when it came to lying and having a poker face, Smg3 owned that department. Smg4 couldn't lie for shit, and his poker face was even worse. So as much as he hated to admit it, he was glad the attention was on Smg3 instead of him. It just meant that they wouldn't be finding out anytime soon. "So?? How is that an us problem, Squid? You think we have a tracker on each other or something? And of course we act on edge, we're constantly stressing about stuff!" Meggy softens at the mention of them stressing out, which gives Smg3 the perfect moment to lunge for Eggdog before anyone could stop him. He successfully freed Eggdog from Marios hands, and instantly began petting him and sweet talking to his son. "Oh, my precious Eggdog, are you ok? Did that ugly mean Italian hurt you? It's ok, Daddy's here..." He turned his attention back to Meggy and asked, "So now that thats over, can we eat now?" Meggy sighed, disappointed in his answers to her questioning, and gave up. "Yeah, go ahead. Sorry for interrogating you two..." Meggy trailed off, slowly looking at Smg4, realizing she'd only questioned one of her two suspects. Smg4 gulped and laughed nervously, seemingly not liking where this stare was going. Meggy smirked, knowing very well that Smg4 couldn't lie to save his channel. "So Smg4, is that the reason you've been acting secretive? Or is there more to the story?" Smg4, fidgeting nervously, stammered a response. "O-of course, Meggy." Meggy smirked, knowing that he was lying already. Smg3 panicked and started to come up with ways to end this nightmare. He sat quietly, watching as Meggy drilled Smg4 with questions, and Smg4 was getting more and more nervous with each one. "So Smg4, is there something you wanna say? The truth, perhaps?" Smg4 looked past Meggy and at Smg3, who was also lost for words. Then, Smg3 mouthed the word "lawyer" and Smg4 got an idea. "The truth? Well, the truth is that you can't really question us, can you? I don't have to say anything that can be used against me and if we're doing this interrogation by law, then you're questioning me without a lawyer." Smg3 smiled as Smg4 called out Meggy's behavior, then spoke up. "Yeah, didn't you go to law School, Squid? I'm pretty sure you know the rules, yet still broke them." Meggy deflated, realizing what they were saying. "Ah crap, you're right. Sorry guys, I didn't mean to drill so hard. I believe you." She put her hands up in surrender, meaning the interrogation was over. The two meme guardians let out a sigh of relief, glad they could keep their secret for a little longer. "Aw its ok, Meggy! You just wanted some answers." Smg4 assured her. "Is it?" Smg3 mumbled, but no one heard. Meggy smiled, grateful they weren't mad at her, and gestured to the kitchen. "Me and Mario brought a KFC bucket for dinner, but you guys can have first dibs. We're gonna go train for a while. Enjoy!" Meggy said as she and Mario walked out the door, leaving the two in the kitchen alone. The two looked at each other and burst out laughing, realizing simultaneously how ridiculous that whole showdown was. "Man, I've never been more scared of her in my life." Smg4 said, grabbing two plates and handing one to Smg3. "I know,right? I mean, damn, who knew she could be so intimidating. Even when she's like, 4'8." The two sat down and ate together, talking and laughing about the interrogation. Eventually M&M came in, Mario especially "starving" and the four spent the rest of the night together, eating and hanging out. As they moved to head to the game room, Smg4 pulled out his phone and smiled, checking the list of rules him and Three had made together.

Rule number 5: Never talk about it with anyone