Rules for Dating a Meme Guardian (an Smg34 fanfic)

Escape Plan

"Four, for the love of Zero himself, get off me. I have to go to work." Smg3 groaned as he tried and failed to get the partially asleep meme guardian off him. "Nooooooo....you're so comfyyyyy...." The latter replied, not wanting to move at all. Smg3 chuckled at the sleepy man, and ran a hand gently through his hair. "Oh trust me, I know I am. But thats not the point. The point is, I've got to get to work, just like you do. The only difference is I actually touch grass." Smg4 scoffed and rolled his eyes. "You're still a streamer though, so its not like you touch grass that much." "Actually, I don't know if you noticed mister, but I haven't really been streaming much. I wanna focus on the cafe expanding. The money I got from streaming is definitely helping, though." Smg3 looked down at the other, then realized he had fallen back asleep. "Dammit, no! Wake your ass up, Four!" Four stirred seeming to wake up, then changed his mind and turned the other way. Three groaned and gave up, laying back down next to Four. Four felt the mattress shift and turned around, a smug look on his face that contradicted Three's frown. "So...you're not going to work?" Four asked smugly as he cuddled next to Three. Three sighed, exasperated, and said "No, I guess not. But if I lose business, I'm blaming you. Deal?" Four giggled. "Deal." Three rolled his eyes yet made himself comfortable, pulled him closer. It was silent for a while, nothing but the sound of soft breathing from the two meme guardians. Despite acting upset about it, Three was rather relieved to not be going to work. Though he wouldn't admit it, it felt nice to be laying in his bed with someone that wasn't Eggdog for once. It also doesn't help that he's warm...and comfortable. "So...are we gonna talk about it?" Smg3 was snapped out of his thoughts. "Talk about what?" He asked, confused about the sudden interruption of silence. Four pointed towards the giant gold statue Three had in his room. "That." Three sighed, already knowing where this conversation was going. "For the love of...it's not you! We've been over this so many times!" Four looked at it again, not seeing a distinct difference. "Ehhh...I think its me. Which is fine, I mean I'm flattered honestly." "You seriously don't see a difference? Are you saying we look alike?" Smg4 stayed silent for a little, causing Smg3 to gasp loudly. "How dare you! We do NOT look alike at all!" "I mean...we kinda do man..." Smg4 said, laughing at Smg3's dramatic response. "Wha-I look 10x better than you what do you mean "we kinda do"? Are you high or something?" Smg4 was dying of laughter from 3's dramatic response. Smg3, seeing that he wasn't being taken seriously, decided to pull a last resort. "Alright, thats it," he declared as he pushed Smg4 off of him and got off the bed. "Wait wait where are you going?" Four asked, scrambling to get up and catch up to him. "To work. Clearly you don't care for me right now  so I'm going to deal with people who care for my business." Smg3 walked towards the elevator and prepared to go up, only to be pulled back by Smg4. "Come on Three, I was joking! You don't have to leave. I promise, I won't bring up the statue ever again. And I'm sorry for saying we look alike." Smg3 knew he was bluffing, but hearing it was better than nothing. "Alright, alright, fine. But don't think this is gonna be a regular thing, scrub. I've got a cafe to run and I can't close everytime you decide you wanna spend time with me." Smg4 nodded and pulled him back into the bed, happy his persuasion worked. Once again, silence filled the room, the uneven breathing from both being the only sound. Smg4 sighed happily and moved around, grateful for all the space he had. "Not gonna lie, your
bed is comfy." Smg3 hummed in response, not even bothering to open his eyes. "Of course it is. I need my beauty sleep, man. Not everyone sleeps on a two person bed, you know." "I'm pretty sure all beds are two person beds, buddy," Smg4 said hesitantly. "Only if you let them be." Smg3 responded, winking at him and smiling. Smg4 just looked at him confused as hell. "Do...have you had more than 1 person in your bed before?" Smg3 scoffed. "What, you think you're the first one to sleep here? Please, I'm not that bitchless." Smg3 turned to face his partner only to find his jaw practically on the floor. "You...wha-you what? Nevermind. Go to work. I'm gonna go back to the castle." Aw shit, I broke him, Smg3 thought to himself as he frantically tried to stop Four. "No no no, wait hold on I was joking. Four come back!" Smg4 stopped and turned around. "So, I'm the first person to sleep in your bed then?" "No, Eggdog is. But you're the first person to sleep in my bed that isn't a kid. Wait...that sounds wrong. You're the first person to sleep in my bad that isn't my son. That doesn't sound any better. You know what I mean though!" Smg3 fumbled to explain, but Smg4 was already slowly walking back to the bed. "Yeah, I know what you mean. But still, you were right. We probably should get up, because someone's going to come looking for us. And I think we both know who." Smg3 looked at him and narrowed his eyes, his face going back into that angry look. "Oh, now you wanna get up. Are you serious? I told you multiple times to get up and you didn't listen! But when you say it, I have to do what you want? Is that how this works?" Smg4 waved his arms frantically, saying "No no, thats not it at all! I mean, when you put it like that its kinda bad, but I just don't wanna get caught here, you know?" "Oh, and you think I wanna get caught having you here?" Smg4 hung his head, clearly defeated and out of explanations. Smg3 walked towards him and pulled him closer. "Hey, I'm just kidding..." He took Smg4's face in his hands and brought it up to his. "So, should we go or...?" Smg4 asked, not knowing if the other was still upset. Smg3 smiled. "Sure, we can go. I just gotta do something real quick, before I get interrupted by you know who." Smg4 giggled, then nodded his head. Smg3 brought Fours face up to him, and Four leaned in, and then-

"SMG333333!!!!!! I CAN'T-A FIND SMG4!!! HELPPPPP!"

...And then their moment was ruined yet again by Mario. Smg3 shook his head and grumbled "Stupid fat Italian always ruining shit." Smg4 laughed, and as Smg3 went to go deal with the red man, Smg4 texted Mario that he was out shopping for some stuff. He then went up the elevator and was in the break room, hiding behind the wall so Mario didn't see him. "Dude, for the umpteenth time, Smg4 is. Not. Here." "But where-a could he beeeeeeee." Mario complained. Suddenly, his phone went off, and Mario said "Oh nevermind, he texted me that he's shopping. Bye 3!!!" Mario walked out, humming his theme song. When he was finally out of sight, Smg4 walked out. "Well, that went well." "Yeah, how's your shopping going?" Smg3 responded, and they both snickered. "So...where were we? Before we were rudely interrupted?" Smg4 asked as he moved closer to the other, putting his hands on both sides of his face. "You are at the mall right now and Mario is looking for you." Smg3 says as he grabs Four's hands and brings them down. "Ugh, right. Guess I'll get going then. See you later, Three." "Yeah, later scrub." They waved goodbye to each other, then Smg3 took out his phone and read the second bullet point on the list he and Smg4 made a few weeks ago:

Rule number 2: ALWAYS have an escape plan, no matter what.