Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you

𝟭𝟯 | 𝗜 𝗴𝗼 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗵𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝘂𝘀𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗱.

"It's delicious. Can I have another slice?"

Julie made a chocolate salami for dessert, and it's absolutely wonderful. I've already had two slices, and I'm determined to have a third.

Maybe then I'll take a fourth, and maybe a fifth.
Or I'll pay her to come over and make desserts at our house.

Julie smiles at me, pleased. "Of course, Brianna." She cuts another slice and places it on my plate, and I immediately dig in.

Connor watches me, amused. "It looks like you've never had chocolate salami before."

I swallow the bite I was chewing. "Aside from ice cream and chocolate, my mom doesn't like sweets, so she never makes them. And my dad and I are hopeless in the kitchen, so whenever mom goes out to eat with her friends, we're in despair. The last time we tried to cook, we were grilling, and somehow we ended up setting a tree in our yard on fire." I keep eating that amazing dessert.

"And why don't you just order food or go out to eat?" Skyler asks.

Well, no, you see. Last time, my cousin got into a fight with the waiter, and we were kicked out of the Chinese restaurant, told never to come back.

My dad literally threw a pizza in the face of the pizzeria owner because he was staring too much at my mom's cleavage.
So, we got banned from there too.

At the sushi place, my mom threw up on the chef because she said the sushi was awful.

And I crashed into the window of the Italian restaurant because I swerved suddenly to avoid hitting a dog that ran into the road.

Yeah, my family can't leave the house without causing trouble or getting banned from some place.

I laugh, thinking back on those moments.
But when I see everyone staring at me, waiting for an answer, I turn serious.
I scratch my head, embarrassed.
"Oh, well, my parents, my cousin Jace, and I have been banned from the pizzeria, the Chinese restaurant, the sushi place, and the Italian restaurant."

They all look shocked.

Oh god, now they're going to call a psychiatrist.
I'm going to be locked up in a mental institution, I can feel it.
I'll probably end up in a cell at Eichen House.
Goodbye, normal life.

"You and your family are weird. Has anyone ever told you that?" Paul breaks the silence.

"Yeah, anyone who's ever met us."

"Do you have any siblings?" Julie asks me.

"I'm going to have a sister or a brother."

James looks at me, visibly confused. "But weren't you an only child?"

"Uh, I thought so too. But a few days ago, my parents got pregnant." I realize what I've said and correct myself. "I mean, my mom is pregnant. That's why they invited the relatives over on Sunday to celebrate. And that's why I couldn't come to work on Monday. Never contradict my grandparents when it comes to alcohol."

Everyone laughs.

But I'm not joking.
I'm dead serious.

The sound of the doorbell rings, and Julie hurries to the door.

An elderly lady enters the living room.
Julie introduces us. "Brianna, this is our neighbor, Mrs.—"

But she doesn't finish the sentence because the old lady interrupts her.
"Hello, Brianna. How are your parents?"

I smile at her. "Hello, Mrs. Porter. My parents are fine. How are you?"

"All is well."

The others look at us, all confused.

"Do you two know each other?" Julie asks.

Mrs. Porter smiles again. "Yes, she's my granddaughter's babysitter." Then she turns to me. "By the way, my daughter wanted to know if you can watch little Amanda tomorrow afternoon."

I love kids.
They're so sweet.
Except when they scream like they're possessed.
That's when they're scary.

I smile at her. "Of course. Should I stay at your daughter's house, or will she bring Amanda to mine?"

"She'll bring her to your house. Are you sure it's no trouble?"

"Positive," I reply.

She looks at me kindly. "You're such a good girl, Brianna."

If only she knew what I do to Italian restaurant windows and trees in my yard.

"Anyway," Mrs. Porter turns back to Julie, "I came to bring you this cake." She shows the bag she's holding and then takes out the cake.

What a nice smell.
If it were up to me, I'd stuff myself with sweets all day long.

"Thank you, that's so kind." Julie takes the cake and places it on the kitchen counter.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Porter heads toward the door. "I have to go now, kids! Mike is waiting for me outside for a walk!"

Skyler looks at her, surprised. "Uh, did you find yourself a man?"

How nice.
And I'm still single.

"Uh, no, I'm going out with my husband."

But didn't he pass away a few years ago? I even went to his funeral.

I look at Mrs. Porter. "But wasn't your husband, like, deceased?"

She smiles, content.

Well, I can recommend my psychiatrist if she wants.

"Oh, but I am going out with the ghost of my deceased husband!"

I can also offer her a room at the mental institution.

Connor stifles a laugh. "And what do you guys do? Go for a trip to the ceme—" James elbows him in the ribs.

Mrs. Porter seems not to notice anything because she keeps smiling.

Sooner or later, she's going to get a facial paralysis.

"Oh no! We go to an ice cream parlor that closed down a few years ago because of the owner's age, and Mike can enjoy his ice cream peacefully!"

Oh god, what did I just hear.

I look at her, shocked. "What a cheerful and romantic outing!"

Now I understand why her daughter complains about her mother talking to herself, convinced she can see her husband's ghost.
But on the other hand, it's kind of sweet.
Creepy, but sweet.

Yet the old lady keeps smiling.

Well, as long as she's happy.

"Now I really must go, Mike is waiting for me!" she says, leaving the house happily.

James blinks repeatedly, as if to make sure everything that just happened was real and not a figment of his imagination. "Well, that was..." he begins.

"Weird," Paul continues.

"And creepy," Connor says.

"And chilling," Skyler concludes.

Julie approaches the table. "Brianna, do you want the last slice of chocolate salami?"

I immediately forget everything that just happened and focus on the dessert.

I'm sure my eyes lit up.

"Gladly," I say.

"No doubt about that," Skyler replies.

I smile.

Food is good.
Especially desserts.
Never refuse a dessert, especially if it's the last slice.