The Submissive Wives Estate

21. A Test

CHARLOTTE 

The first thing on my mind that morning was the way Whitney and Daniel floated through the ballroom to disappear behind the burgundy doors together. Since the day I arrived, I had been itching to know what was behind them.

It all became crystal clear when I pressed my ear to the crack to listen to what they were speaking about. Daniel's low voice said, "They thought the birch would cure women of her mental ailments. It's an initiation into marriage so she can be fit for all that being a wife requires. The ritual was never meant to hurt or harm her or even punish her."

I had read about such things in The Book of Shelsey. In fact, drawings of the birch were the first thing that caused a strange yet pleasant twist in my stomach moments after the book was sent to my doorstep after accepting the job.

Visions of strong men thoroughly lashing a bundle of sticks across a woman's backside flooded my dreams for nights on end. It was only then that I began to have revelations about myself and my desires. Something I had been so disconnected from for my first twenty-two years of life.

Up until a year ago, I didn't know it was possible for someone like me to be seen as beautiful. To be desired by someone. It wasn't until I began to take care of my appearance and pour into myself on every level that I began to realize such a thing. The same went for my sexuality. I had yet to fully explore its depths. 

Everything everybody did here at Shelsey fascinated me. The interactions between the couples. Xavier's soft protectiveness over Callie. The way Levi always had a cool elegance about him in every small interaction. My mind had an unquenchable thirst to know about the dynamic between him and Gaia. 

Not to mention Daniel's friendly yet equally stoic demeanor. The way he looked at Whitney was puzzling and peculiar yet brought a certain intensity that the whole room could feel. But I couldn't explain why Whitney and Daniel's pairing felt so satisfying for a watchful eye like mine. It was like the moment I found out Whitney was moving in, the news scratched an itch that had been tickling me for days.

I bustled around the ballroom as I polished every pillar, pondering such things. It was to be Xavier and Callie's ribboning ceremony soon enough and I figured it was never too early to start shaping it up. But my temptations to unseal the burgundy doors and find out what Whitney and Daniel were speaking of grew inside me like a famishing hunger.

The last time I was in the ballroom, I witnessed Audrina's abdication of her marital duties to Daniel Cross.

"I just can't continue on. I'm sorry to have disappointed you all," Miss Audrina's head hung low. Her hair was in a loose bun that fell at the nape of her neck. Her baby-soft skin was snow white. Her cheeks were usually sunkissed and rosy. A textured, puff sleeve, flowing coral dress hung on her body, only showing us how sick she looked.

She looked tired and I knew tired.

Gaia chewed her lower lip in disappointment, "University is a pointless investment, we've discussed this a thousand times."

Levi gave his fiance a stern look in warning, "Gaia, Audrina doesn't wish to continue with Daniel, we honor her choice."

Gaia frowned and kept her eyes on her sister, "But, what about your priorities? What about the life you planned for yourself?"

"I don't think a two-month practice marriage fits into my dreams right now."

"You dream of four years of chronic stress? Really? At least come up with a better excuse to opt out of your commitment."