It Would've Been You

X

𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍, I'm being forced to journal with Sydney. She says it will help me open up and express my feelings. I doubt that, but she insists on making me feel better, so I don't have a choice.

My notebook page is covered in more scribbles and crosses than words. I'm racking my brain to find something positive to write, but all I can come up with is: 'I relapsed, and I feel like shit'.

I look up, about to complain again when I notice Sydney's face. She's staring at her laptop with a look of shock. There's a video playing on the screen, and the quality is poor. I move closer to get a better look.

Sydney hesitates momentarily, then reaches out to click the unmute button. The room is suddenly filled with a groaning voice.

"You're so good at that," the voice says, sounding rough. I watch a hand grab a fistful of blonde hair, pushing the girl's head down. Then it hit me.

The conversation the girls in the bathroom were having.

Sydney just sits there, frozen, her eyes wide as she tries to process what we're watching. The voice continues in the background, and the video zooms out, showing more of the scene. I can't stand to watch more. I quickly reach over and slam the laptop shut.

Her face turns pale. I can hear her sharp breath, her whole body trembling slightly. I feel a wave of dread come over me. I don't know what to do. Her eyes are glassy, and she keeps blinking rapidly. Almost like she is trying to convince herself she didn't see what she saw.

"Sydney, are you okay?" I ask, my voice coming out in more of a whisper. I reach out and put a hand on her shoulder, but she jerks away.

Sydney picks at the ends of her hair. "I saw him delete it. . how does he still have it if he deleted it?"

"Do you know who sent you the video?"

She shakes her head, clutching her stomach as she stumbles off the bed, rushing toward the bathroom. I follow after her, just in time to see her collapse beside the toilet. I feel utterly helpless.

I kneel beside her, sweeping her hair out of the way as she throws up. My heart is racing, but I try to stay calm, for her. "Do you need anything? Water?"

"He said he deleted it." She repeats, raising her head, but immediately turns to hurl in the toilet bowl again. I stroke her hair, watching tears pour down her face. I open my mouth, but no words seem to register.

"I'm so sorry." I squeeze her shoulder.

Why was it so hard for me to comfort others?

The account that posted the video is anonymous, but I can think of a few assholes who would think something like this is funny.

So the minute I see Cameron exit his class the next day, I follow him straight to his locker.

"Jesus Christ." He sputters when he sees me standing in front of him as he closes the locker door. He must already know why I'm here.

"Morgan, I didn't leak the video." Cameron grunts, leaning on his locker with an annoyed look.

"Then who did?" I snap.

"Aiden." He sighs, "He took Zion's phone, saw the video, and downloaded it. Then he posted it. Why would you think I'd do that?"

I don't know whether I believe him or not.

"Do you actually think I'd do something like that?" He sounds disappointed.

I stay silent.

"I swear, if you don't make them delete it, I'll. ." I trail off, seething. '. .all of you."