the venomous sting of pain that love leaves is refreshing. it awakens a portion of the self that one never realized. to few, love is seen as unnecessary and a weakness, though there's a brand for something deeper in the meaning. dedication, loyalty, passion, it can all symbolize a type of love or affection. so that's not to say that feitan portor was incapable of feeling said things. not impossible.
the butterfly and the spider, an unlikely pair. one destroys the other and what's left, only pain and despair. but rebirth is the butterflies natural symbol, no matter the pain, they return. and even as the spider never changes its ways, the butterflies love only blossoms further. maybe one day, being tangled in the web could be something much sweeter. to be more than just a metaphor for a somber, soon-to-be, death.
the spider troupe is a focused organization of thieves, their only care has ever been for what does well for the spider as a whole. what's guided by their leaders designed goal. though feitan heavily follows through with the troupes symbol. he's is what you would call, extremely dedicated to keeping in line with the spider itself. not the arachnid, the troupe, it's mottos, it's methods. everything about it.
it could be called a passion in itself, an obsession even. perhaps that's a kind of love but not a healthy kind. an admirable kind, anyone could say that. putting your all into a craft of some kind should be admired. though one could argue about this specific craft in question.
the grey in his hues never does dim when he's accomplished something that aids the group as a whole. it's not about the people, it's about the contribution, almost like he's praising a metaphorical god. though he could never give appraising responses, ecstatic energy, his nuetral energy, his complacent and bored nature -only ever intrigued by things he may find entertaining. which is usually only things he does by his hand. torture. one could say he majorly enjoys it, he is well adept at it. along with murder, but what could be expected of a thief, of a well known group full of murderous terrorists.
of all the things that could come into question for this male in particular. for love as a whole, a person would never be considered. ever. as feitan has never been a deeply or emotionally connected figure ever, he hasn't ever expressed any unnecessary emotion. such as anger, sadness, happiness, envy, etc. those were all useless, a waste of time in his mind.
why waste energy feeling things that won't aid you in a mission? that won't hone your skills or bring results. the most people ever were able to do was amuse him with their ignorance, weakness, pleads for him to let them free. he never expected a response to amuse him so greatly, or maybe it wasn't amusement that she brought.
