The True Family

Suicide attempt

WARNING: As the title claim, this chapter is one of depressive thought, despair and suicidal attempt, if the subject can trigger you then you might skip to the next chapter right away.

STILES POV

I don't know exactly where I am, or even what time it is and I forgot to take my cell phone before leaving. I thought I would head to school, I thought I would wait there for the day to start, enjoy this little moment of calm that I would have been entitled to. And I sincerely begin to regret having changed my mind when my gaze fell on the forest, I shouldn't have turned on my heels.

The sun has been up for a while now and the path that I have been following since the entrance to the forest is becoming clearer and clearer thanks to the light that passes between the trees and I tell myself that this would be the ideal opportunity to turn back, I would have an easier time taking the same path, but I continue, despite the pain in my waist that reminds me that I am still healing, despite my senses that are playing tricks on me because I feel so dizzy. Despite my stomach that is pulling at me and screaming at me to eat.

I don't know what I'm going to discover at the end of this path that zigzags all over the forest surrounding the city, but curiosity can be a nasty flaw and it's this curiosity that forces me to continue on my way. Cymbals have been having fun torturing my head for a while now and I close my eyes for a moment without stopping walking. For a moment I have the sensation of floating, I feel light, but the pain returns as soon as I open my eyes again. I hit a tree on my path with my fist before regretting it immediately by clasping my fist with my other hand.

"What an idiot!" I exclaimed, my voice echoing around me in the forest.

I turn around, impressed by this phenomenon and I put myself back in the center of the path, my body directed towards the unknown. Once again I let my voice out and once again the forest echoes me. I don't think I've gotten so far from civilization that my voice is the only thing I can hear, so there's only one other possibility that comes to mind. I've arrived at the place Simon had mentioned as the only decent place in town. Excited by the possibility, I start running, curious, pushing aside all the pain that's assailing me. It's not like I'm not used to enduring it anyway, right?

I don't know how long I've been running, out of breath, when I come across a huge wall of stone and earth. I let out a little victorious cry at having made it this far and I looked around. I discovered three paths, the first one indicates that it's a long, quiet path that takes about fifty minutes to get to the top of the ravine. I don't want to take that long to go and see the view. I scanned the sign for the second path and gave up on the idea of ​​climbing 500 steps to the top. So I took the path that would take me a good twenty minutes, but at this point I wasn't going to turn back now.

I nearly fell a few times due to the poor maintenance of this path and again I began to wonder what I was doing there. What was pushing me to go all the way to the top. I convinced myself that I simply wanted to discover the magnificent view overlooking the city and I saw myself about to give up when I tripped over a tree root and fell full length on the dusty path.

I stayed there, on the ground while letting my vision get blurry with tears. I felt like I had an anvil in my lower back and this sensation reminded me of the reason that pushed me to head towards the forest. I wanted to escape, how could I have let my attention deficit disorder distance me from this state of affairs?

I grab the rock my right hand landed on when I fell and squeeze it until my knuckles turn white as I try to hold back the wave of panic that spreads through me as images from the night before form in my mind. I can't stand this situation anymore, being hit, being forced to do everything in the house, yes ok, but I can't stand This anymore... I hate this drug that makes me lose all free will, I never want to experience that again, I had vainly hoped that this fucking cult would disintegrate with our departure...

I got up with difficulty and set off again. I reach the summit after several minutes and the view literally takes my breath away. The scene before me is almost supernatural, magnificent. The sky is perfectly blue with just a few clouds that only embellish the picture. The city stands proud and from where I am, I can see everything. My school, my home, the police station... I hadn't realized how little I knew of the city.

While I had hoped to feel better thanks to this magnificent view, my heart broke. I suddenly felt more alone than ever, here I was, standing overlooking the most beautiful town I had ever lived in, and I was alone. I dropped to my knees and punched the ground with my fists. I let out a cry of surprise as I dropped the rock that I hadn't noticed I had kept with me and had just crushed my fingers with it.

I stared at the rock for a moment before letting out a hysterical little laugh, between two sniffles, as I realized that the red I saw on it wasn't paint, but my blood. I hadn't even realized that my wound had reopened, probably when I fell.

I remove the bandage and observe the pitiful state of my hand, it hurts, it hurts a lot and yet it is nothing compared to all the pain that took hold of my heart a moment earlier. I try to bandage my hand with a part that has not been soiled by my blood, but the bandage is no longer adhesive at all and I quickly lose patience calling it stupid. I only realize now how stupid I am to call an object stupid... I really think about the word stupid too often.

I approach the hill to throw my bandage there and calmly watch it fall several meters below. I shiver, suddenly dizzy, and I let myself fall on my buttocks to move away from the edge. My heart pounds as I imagine what the feeling would be like if this bandage was me.

I suddenly stop thinking as an idea plants itself in my mind and I try to chase away the buds that are slowly blooming. There was no way I was having that kind of thought, not now, not here...

Yet my gaze fell back on the end of the ravine. I closed my eyes trying to imagine the feeling of falling, no, jumping into the void. Will it hurt? For how long?

This bud of ideas blooms at the thought that no matter the pain, it will only be temporary and that everything will be over very quickly while at home, it was quite the opposite. I felt like I was about to throw up as a part of me told me that there was no point in using a permanent solution for a temporary problem... two more years and I will be an adult.

My whole body was shaking as, on my knees, I moved a little closer to the hill. There must have been a hundred meters, maybe I wouldn't suffer, maybe I would never suffer again. It would be nice, wouldn't it, to not suffer anymore?

I closed my eyes, I still don't know if it's the right decision, but this flower of an idea is so tempting that I can't help but pick it. I reach out into the void to take the stem and I tear it from the ground, letting my body fall forward. No more torture that my life had become for too long.

I closed my eyes, I left serene...

Or not.

I suddenly opened my eyes, feeling deep inside that I had made a mistake, my whole being was screaming at me that I had not made the right decision, that I was going to die and this realization made me scream in terror as I saw the ground getting closer and closer.

I closed my eyes again, aware that I was going to die in the next few seconds.

I could hear the mountain screaming for me.

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