The club was nothing like I thought it was going to be, we paid the man at door and pushed our way to the bar to order our drinks. It was night like tonight that I wished I did actually drink. Emma was flirting with some guy in the corner as James and I found a table to sit at. I couldn't help but notice that just about every woman in the near proximity was eyeing James and it bothered me a lot. James was used to it, he knew he was hot and he constantly flaunted it. But tonight was different; he was dressed in a simple pair of blue jeans and a black tee that showed off his muscular arms and his wide chest. I couldn't help but stair at him. He cleared his throat and smiled.
"Sophie, sweetie you're staring."
"Huh," I hadn't realized I was staring so hard. "Sorry." I looked around the club trying to find something, anything to distract me. He laughed and I looked back at him.
"Why are you sorry? It's not your fault you find me so irresistible tonight." He winked at me and I laughed, a small smile sneaking onto my face.
"Looks like I'm not the only one." I said tilting my head to the closest table full of women. He laughed again, this time at me.
"Sophie, you should know that not one of those women hold a candle compared to you," I blushed as he said this. I couldn't understand how he could mean that, but I let it go. "You are the only person in the world for me." He finished with a tone that issued a matter of fact.
Uncomfortable, that's how I felt at that very moment. I just wasn't use to people blurting their feelings for me out loud. "Um... you know what I think I'm just going to go back to the hotel." I suddenly wanted to be alone.
"Are you alright?" A worried look crossed his face.
"I'm just not feeling well." I couldn't believe I had resorted to lying. I was a horrible liar and I knew it, I just hoped that James wasn't paying to close attention as I gathered my things and headed for the door.
Catching a cab wasn't in my interest right now; I needed the fresh air to help clear my head. I decided instead to walk the three blocks to the hotel. The cold night air was just what I needed, it helped clear my head and relax me. I reached the hotel and went up to our room. I decided to jump in the shower; the water always relaxed me more than anything else. I grabbed my pajamas out of my bag and headed into the small bathroom.
Fifteen minutes later I emerge from a puff of steam as I walked back into the room. Completely taken aback at the sight of James standing at the window, when had he arrived? "Hay." I whispered and sat on the chair in front of the TV.
"Sophie," his back was to me but he turned to look at me "What did I do? I feel like your pulling away from me. Tell me what I did, please." He sounded torn. Like he was afraid to hear my answer and to be honest I was afraid to tell him.
"You know why." I answered simply.
He shook his head and walked over and knelt in front of me studying me reaction to his next statement. "I'm not him. You know that."
I wanted to cry, I felt the tears sting the back of my eyes. I knew he was right he was the complete opposite of every other guy I had ever dated. "I know you're not James."
"You know I'd fight for you Sophie but how can I fight someone who isn't even there?" The hurt was evident in his voice.
"James," I pulled his face level to meet mine so I could look him in the eyes. "I'm so sorry, but you know what my past has been like. Every time I trust someone I always, always get hurt." I feel the familiar sting behind my eyes yet again.
"Sophie, you know I would never ever do anything to hurt you." And I knew he was right. He slowly leaned in, ever so lightly kissing my lips and I kissed him back.
Our breathing was coming in heave pants as he picked me up and placed me on my bed. I open my eyes in shock at the thought of what could happen if I let him continue.
"James," I pull back from him a little. "I can't. I'm so sorry." He leaned back on the bed, an exasperated sigh escaping his lips. I sat up and looked intently at him as our breathing regulated again, his eyes were closed.
"Sophie, please don't do this. Why can't you even try?" He opened his blue eyes and turned his head and stared at me. I felt flush my skin felt hot under his intense gaze.
"James," I begin, but quickly stopped. How could I tell him my biggest fear? I was afraid to let him that close in fear of losing him. I did love him, I knew that, heck he knew that, but this was something completely different. I had never been with anyone like this before. "I just need time; please, I just need you to understand that." I whispered to him.
He closed his eyes and sat up on the edge on the bed, his feet thudded against the floor. "Fine," He said in a distant tone. I knew he was upset and I hated hurting him like that. "I will give you time, but know this," He turned to look at he, locking me in place with the desire in his eyes. "I won't wait forever Sophie." I nodded my head.
"Thank you... and I promise that you won't have to wait forever." He smiled at the words.
"I hope not. I might just go insane." He leaned in and kissed me again.
"So what do we do now?" I asked in a happier tone.
"Hmmm, well we could always watch a movie." He suggested "You choose and I'll be right back." He stood and walked to the bathroom and closed the door.
I heard the shower running as I flipped through the hotels selection of movies till I found one of my favorites and flipped it on. I walked over to the couch and got comfy while it started.
The shower shut off and James walked into the room wearing his black pajama bottoms and no shirt. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, and he chuckled at my wide eyes taking him in.
"Stop looking at me like that Sophie." He smiled at me and I blushed again.
"Put a shirt on and I will." I giggled and he shook his head and came to lie next to me. We stayed that way the whole night watching movies.
