t w e n t y

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 ...And To Those I Love, Thanks For Sticking Around - $uicideboy$

'Bad girls get what they deserve' Danny repeats with each thrust, the pain, it burns so bad, I want to scream, cry, plead, but it only makes him go harder, I learn that the hard way

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'Bad girls get what they deserve' Danny repeats with each thrust, the pain, it burns so bad, I want to scream, cry, plead, but it only makes him go harder, I learn that the hard way.

'This could have been avoided Willow' such harshness in his voice, 'You should have gotten more money, unless you're hiding some?' His hand fists my hair, yanking my head and neck up to look at him, 'No,no I'm not' I sob, his hand releases my hair before his hand pushes my head and face into the mattress.

'You'll fucking learn one-day' Marion's voice comes from the opposite side of me, why won't she stop him? Why won't she help me?

I feel a burning sensation on my back that makes me silently scream in pain, don't make a noise Willow, it will only anger them more.

'Lift her ass up' Marion orders, before I can even blink my hips are dragged into the air, Danny's hands grip my skin like a vice, I'm almost certain he would rip my skin open right now. A cold liquid is poured over my ass before I feel something large at the entrance, no, no, she's not doing this no.

But the pains all too real, she's raping me, raping her own daughter.

I thought getting all of that off of my chest to Papa would have helped me sleep better, boy, was I wrong.

I woke up in a cold sweat like usual, the memories flooding in once again. I feel as if I'm gasping for air, no matter how deep I try to breathe in I'm not getting enough oxygen and there's only one way to stop this.

I climb out of bed, bumping into the bedside table due to my body's weakness in this state. The bump caused the lamp to fall and break but that is the least of my concerns right now, I need my blade, I need to breathe, I need to get rid of this pain.

I eventually make it into my bathroom and lock the door shuffling through one of the drawers until I see it, freedom.

Snatching the blade I slide down the wall until I'm sitting on the cold tiles, just a few cuts, that's all I tell myself.

I bring the blade down on my left wrist, I don't even care about trying to be sneaky, I need the release.

pressing the blade firmly against my flesh I begin. The first cut the voices become quieter, the second my breathing evens out, the third the voices stop, and all I can hear is ringing in my ears, peace, finally peace, I go to do a fourth but my hearing returns and  I notice banging on the bathroom door, panic sets in immediately.

"Willow!!!!!" Niki's voice calls, I can't even get words out, my body won't move, I look down at my wrist and notice the cuts are a little deeper than my usual ones, I really fucked this time...

"That's it I'm kicking the door in" Niki warns, "N-no, no don't" I finally speak but it's too late, the door flies open narrowly missing my feet and ankles.

"You dying or-" Niki starts until he sees me, his face drains of colour and panic sketched itself onto his features, my tears begin falling again. "What have you done? Willow, what have you done?" He asks while grabbing at towel and attempting to wrap it around my wrist, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" I sob out.

I never wanted any of them to find out, I would have gotten better eventually, this isn't their burden to carry, all I do is hurt people.

"No, no don't you be sorry Willow" He replies before calling out for help over his shoulder, "Please don't tell anyone else" I plead but it falls on deaf ears as he calls out again, Ally comes running in out of breath "What the fuck are you yelling-" His words fall short when his eyes land on me.

"Willow..." He sighs softly, "Please don't tell Papa" I cry harder, "I don't want to be a bad girl" I beg. "Tell me what?" Papa's voice comes from behind Ally, whatever blood is still in me freezes instantly.

Papa looks me over, his face void of emotion before he turns to the boys "Get the first aid kit ready in the kitchen, and some bleach for the floors. Both boys run off as he steps towards me, he's angry, he's going to beat me I know it.

"ох, мой сладкий полевой цветок (oh my sweet wildflower)" He says softly looking down at the white towel that's now decorated with bright red patches, "что они заставили тебя сделать... (what have they made you do...)".

"I'm so sorry Papa" Is all I can reply, "Я знаю, детка, я знаю. Давай, давай наведем порядок и поговорим, да? (I know baby, I know. Come on, let's clean this up and have a chat yeah?).

He helps me to my feet and walks slowly with me making sure I don't trip or fall, once we are in the kitchen he lifts me up and sits me on the kitchen bench. Both of the boys are in here too, the look of pity in their eyes, I can't stand it, no one was supposed to know.

"Don't give me that look" I mumble as Papa begins to undo the towel around my wrist, "What look Дейзи? (daisy)" Niki questions quietly, "The look of pity, Like I'm weak and pathetic".

"I think we should tell the boys what we spoke about earlier, I have no doubt it's the reason behind this" Papa speaks nodding down to the area he's cleaning, whatever he's using fucking burns but I deserve this, bad girls deserve what they get.

I want to tell him no, I want to run and hide, but Papa is right, if they know, they might understand better. So I nod my head "You tell them".

words: 1018

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