LIMINAL || 𝙅𝙖𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙧 𝙃𝙖𝙡𝙚 [1]

𝟚𝟘 | 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕒𝕤 𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕟

Hot water streamed over my skin, chasing away the chill from the rain. The longer I stood under the spray of the showerhead, the harder it was to believe that the last hour had occurred.

Jasper taking me home and acting oblivious as to why I was upset that he opened my door for me. Standing on the porch, not a single dry thread on us, while I explained (ranted) why I was so angry. The desperation in his voice. The way he'd pulled me against him, running his hands over my body, my fingers in his hair, his lips on mine...

Even under the steaming hot water, goosebumps appeared over my skin as I ran my fingertips over my lips. All of that had really happened, and I really needed to get a grip. As nice as it had felt, Jasper also kissed me a week ago and then totally shut me out. The idea of a replay had me ready to throw up. And what did he mean by "protecting me?" What was there to even protect me from? The only thing remotely harmful that I'd encountered in Forks was Matthew Reese, and he had virtually nothing to do with this situation. If you counted emotionally damaging, then I guess Jasper would also be on that list, but the only times he'd hurt me were when he was being cold or distant after a period of being friendly and amicable. Again, I was missing a piece of a puzzle that needed solving.

I almost thought Jasper would have left while I was in the shower. It was what I prepared myself for to try and mitigate any disappointment should that be the case. As I pulled on a dry set of clothes in Cara's humid bathroom, it took all I had to focus on what was more likely than on what I hoped. At the very least, I was completely over the flu this time. After walking up the stairs without a boot (something I'd never take for granted again), I paused just before the door to my room, running a towel over my hair another time. If he wasn't waiting to have a conversation like he'd promised, I needed to be ready for the disappointment. I squeezed my eyes shut, and rounded the door frame.

Sitting at my desk was a human so beautiful, I almost had to look away. My eyes followed the lines of his hands, his forearms, up to his neck and jaw. Angela had once described the Cullens as being statuesque in their appearances; while looking at Jasper's marble white skin, I was inclined to agree. There is a sculpture, le génie du mal, in Saint Paul's cathedral of Liège. The story is that the previous sculpture had been removed due to an "unhealthy" level of beauty, and the sculptor's brother was commissioned to make its replacement. I'd thought it was a handsome depiction at the time, but not much else. Seeing Jasper sitting in my room, gazing out the window with water beading off of his still-damp hair, I understood how unhealthy that type of beauty could be. When he looked my way, I felt my heart give a lurch.

"Hey," he said softly, the richness reverberating through my chest. I swallowed a mouthful of spit and took a deep steadying breath.

"Hi. Have a good shower?"

And then I was thinking about Jasper in the shower. Geez, focus, woman! If he sensed my embarrassment, he didn't show it.

"Sure. And you?"

"Yup."

I propped up a few pillows and rested my back against the headboard. The two places we sat were as far as we could feasibly get from each other in my room. It was only a maximum of ten or fifteen feet, but it felt like an ocean of space with plenty of choppy water between us. For two people that had previously been macking on the porch in the rain and breathing the same air a moment after, it suddenly was as if we were meeting for the first time.

"I'm sorry. For being..." Jasper trailed off, searching for the correct word.

"Unpredictable? Inconsistent? Moody?" I supplied just a few words that I thought were appropriate. He raised an eyebrow dubiously.

"I was going to say 'an asshole,' but I reckon those are better for mixed company. It wasn't my intention to hurt your feelings, but I know I did, and I'm sorry. I'm also sorry for leaving you hanging last Friday. I could feel how much it bothered you and..."