Metanoia(Joshua x reader)

15. I dont want to

Joshua pov.
I came back home after the classes and rehab.

As soon as I entered the room, I saw a lifeless girl laying down the ground.

"What the f-" I got scared for a minute, actually.

"Yn again, what's wrong with her?" I said and went near her.
I saw some books next to her.

I took them in my hands.

"The Alchemist"
"The Power of Now"
"The Art of happiness"

These were the names of those books.

I sighed.

"Why is she trying so hard for nothing?"
"It's not like I want to die that she is giving me these books to motivate me for something," I said and then thought for some seconds.

Do I really want to live?

I shrugged those thoughts off as my eyes landed on the cut on yn knee.

"Aish, this careless girl!" I said and took out a bandage from the nearby drawer.

I sat down on the ground and bandaged her wound.

Then my eyes landed her face.

I smiled.

"Beautiful"

I saw her lifeless hand and thought to measure mine with her.

I did with some distance..
But I couldn't get it..so I got my hand a bit closer to her and smiled at our hand difference.

"My hands are large, aren't they?" I said and smiled widely.
Suddenly, my pinky finger touched her pinky finger.

My heartbeat went crazy.

I got away from there and stood in front of the window in my room.
"Why is it so hot?" I said...

Yn pov.
Suddenly I heard someone talking so I woke up.

I found myself on the ground in Joshua's room.

"Oh shit-" I was cut off by Joshua.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
"Fuck-" I said in fear.

"Oh. Um"

"Leave," he said to me.
"At least listen to me once,  I know you're angry at me -" I again got cut off by his mother calling him.

"Hey, joshua, open the door," she said.

"Go hide in my closet," he said, and I did.

He opened the door for his mother.

"Oh my son, you remember I booked your tickets with the best teacher as you want to learn guitar now...the flight is tomorrow," she said.
"But mom, I have school, and my exams are around the corner. I can't leave it all like this?"  He said.
"Oh my gawd, joshua, you weren't like this before... you want to live your dream, so you have to go to L.A. and you can join any school there," she said.
"But"

"No buts...get your luggage ready, bye," his mom said and left.

I got out of the closet and saw him looking at the ground blankly.

"You don't wanna go?" I asked.

He looked at me as if he got out some thoughts.

"Sit here, she will go in  an hour to meet her friends..so then you can leave," he said while pointing at his bed.

I did as he said.
He sat in front of me on his study chair but was facing the window.

"Joshua"
"Don't dare to say anything.. just wait for  an hour to be completed silently. "

I got up and thought to turn his chair around at least.

"Don't get close to me either," he said, so I sat back.

"Can we get close like before?" I said.
And got ignored.

I heard him sigh.

I cried while thinking about how I couldn't save him.

"When you ever feel dying, just hold on for some time and I'll come back to save you..even if you were end up in a different time line, I will jump over that time and space...in every time line you will be same for me" I said in tears trying to comfort him...

He told me not to talk, but I don't know when I'll go back to past again.

Maybe after some hours, maybe tomorrow?
So I have to do what I am doing.

"And these books will be very motivational to -"
And suddenly, I saw a bug flying around.

I tried to kill it but failed, and then I saw it flying to Joshua.
It's going to disturb him.

I silently went close to Joshua to kill the bug, but as I was going to, Joshua turned around and stood up, holding my both wrists .
"I told you not to get close,"
"I told you to don't speak too."

Joshua took the blanket from his bed and wrapped it around me, covering my whole body.
he holded me on his shoulder and started going downstairs.

"Oh, joshua, what are you taking so huge ...do you want my help, son?" His mother said.
"No, it's okay. It's just some trash, " he said and started walking again..

He put me down in front of his house.

"You want us to get along like before? It's awkward for me because you know my despair and pain. How do you want us to get along?? Did I ask you to comfort me? Have I ever asked you to look out for me?" He asked, looking right into my eyes.

Tears started to fall out of my eyes as I said
"What do you expect me to do then? The silly attempt to comfort you is all I can do. "

"You're going to die joshua, let me just help you for a few months, please." As I said that, I felt everything around me stop.

And when I completed my sentence, everything again went as it was.

I can't speak anything about the future.

I wiped my tears and said.
"You don't want this all, then at least don't push me away for a few months please," I said.

But he left without saying anything.
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GUYS ARE YOU LIKING THIS STORY OR SHOULD I START A NEW ONE WITH JOSHUA?