I love you to death.

Chapter 3: Odd happenings

It is now three in the afternoon, the day slowly crept away and I am sitting on the couch staring out the window. I see kids on their bicycles and people walking their dogs. I wish I had a dog. My mother is apparently allergic, but I genuinely believe that is a lie. She does not like things you have to look after, I don't know how she managed to keep Josie and I alive for years, but then again we always had a nanny or my dad's mom look after us while my dad was doing work things or going to conferences. My grandma Claire is the sweetest human being to ever walk this earth. My dad looks like her, they both have this kind crooked smile that you feel a sense of comfort when seeing it. I have only met my maternal grandmother a handful of times. She is a fashion designer in Paris. She owns the fashion line "Luxure", which means Lust in French. She dresses starving women and watches them strut around on a runway. Personally, I could never do that. I like pizza and French fries too much.
My phone starts to ring and I see my best friends name light up the screen.
Presley Anderson. She has been my best friend since grade seven. We met that summer, when she came to visit her grandparents. They are our neighbours. We were inseparable, so inseparable she convinced her parents to move here so we could see each other all the time. I was shocked when they actually did. Her dad quit his job and now runs a law firm in our town, while her mom is a teacher at the high school. Presley was a wild card and sometimes did things that made me question how she was still alive. From sky diving to breaking and entering. Not into any occupied houses anyway, abandoned houses down the gravel roads that no one has lived in for years. She was also beautiful, but not like Josie. Presley had dark hair, so dark you thought she dyed it black and big blue sparkling eyes. Her name suited her, Her mom was a big Elvis Presley fan, so when they had a little girl, She had to have that name. She was shorter than me and had an hourglass body. She went through puberty early, she once went to the liquor store and did not get carded. Josie and her almost have ever guy stop and do a second take. I worry about their future sometimes because what are they going to look like when they are in their twenties?
I answer the phone and I hear Presley say
"Hi my love!"
I say hi and try to keep the talking to a minimum. I am good at listening lately.
"So I was thinking, you and Josie Posie should come to the back to school bonfire we are having tonight. It's down at Baker's beach."
I sigh and say
"I don't know Pres. I don't really feel that great. I'm tired."
I am not tired.
"You should. You have hard a hard few weeks and I think celebrating us going into grade twelve is needed. it's a rite of passage."

I feel guilty not being as excited as her, because she is right. It is a rite of passage, I just don't know if I can be around people I go to school with just yet.
I say nothing.

"I know this is really honest and you can totally call me a bitch for saying this, but Hudson would not want you to be sad. I know it is still fresh, but maybe a night to have fun might distract you. Plus, I feel like I've barely seen you this summer."

I notice myself getting anxious, yet comforted by hearing from her.
It is not presley's fault we have not seen each other. It's mine, because I spent a lot of time with Josie. Then when I was not being Josie's shadow, I was with Hudson.

I missed her voice and I faintly smile.

"You are a bitch, but I love you."

She giggles and her voice becomes more high pitched.
"Ugh, I am so excited to see you. I cannot wait to give you a hug my Jac Jac. Be ready at six, I will pick you up."

Before I have the time to say anything, she hangs up.

Fuck. I have to see people.

My heart starts to realize that with people comes talking and with talking comes questions.

I do not want to explain to all of my future classmates how my boyfriend died, I genuinely don't have an answer because I cant sit there and explain that he overdosed. They will label him a fucking methhead or something. It is not a "Break the ice"conversation. It is something I wish I could forget, honestly. I had no idea Hudson had these thoughts going through his mind. He was happy. My whole life has been turned upside down, I do not want to go and mingle. I do want to see Presley though. She will be my saving grace in this situation.

I finally decide to shower as I probably smell like a dumpster. I light a candle and decide to put on some music to relax, or I at least attempt to. I also have to shave my legs, I was starting to look like a bear. I start the shower and hop in. The water feels amazing. I want to wash away the last two weeks like I washed my body.

I will never forget the first time Hudson and I showered together. My parents and sister were out of the house and we decided to paint, which ended up all in my hair, on Hudson's face and he thought the perfect touch was hand prints where my boobs were on my shirt. I still have it, I could not throw it out after because that was the day I knew I was in love with him. Showering was awkward at first, but eventually we got comfortable. He washed my hair for me and was not half bad at it. I remember laughing and thinking this moment is what love truly is. Being vulnerable together.

After half an hour, I get out. I wipe my face with my towel and dry off, wrapping my hair. The mirror is fogged up except in the left bottom corner which is strange to me. I look a little closer and there is a tiny little heart drawn. I did not do that, and I heard no one open the door while I have been in here.

Odd.