Of Thorns and Glamour

Awakened

I was falling into a never ending abyss that felt like eons. Only my own memories a comfort to me, until I start losing them too. I try to hold onto them, remembering, but then the first thing I forgot was why I was here and not with him. Then I forgot my name, and what I look like, and soon I forgot who I was completely.

Between long points of silence there are short lived precious moments when I hear a little boys voice, "Mother, I miss you."

I try to respond, but to no avail.

Time passes in the dark abyss, or maybe no time at all. "Mother I hate him. Why did he do this to you." It was the same boy, but he sounded a bit older. Then silence again, as time seemed continue around me.

"Grandfather scolded me today. I got into a fight," his voice cracks, "I won because I am your son. They won't even teach me, like I am some delicate thing." His disappointment in his voice breaks my heart. "I will get stronger and I will leave this forest," he steels his resolve.

Some more time passes. "We are looking for you mother," his voice now deeper. He must had grown so much. "Sorry I haven't visited you as often," I hear him sigh loudly. "No one visits you because you are a reminder of their failures. Including me." My heart sinks again, I didn't want him to feel that way. "I'm sorry mother," I heard deep resentment in his voice. "We will find your heart soon."

I fade into the abyss again until I hear a young woman's voice, "There you are!" I feel a heart that flutters near me. "You're warm like sunshine." I wish I could feel that again. "Who are you?" her voice was fearful. "Let me go!" Her heart was frantic as if she was fighting someone off.

"Girl you don't know what you have," I hear the voice of the man who I miss dearly. "What have you done!" he yells at her.

I feel the abyss again, and then I'm nestled in some place warm. It was some time before I could see.

See through eyes not mine.

I stare into forest green eyes that were furious, and then they fade from anger and he sighs. He has long black hair and antlers like that of a buck. He's so much taller than I am, as he paces the forest edge. "I'm sorry!" he says as he looks at her. "I didn't know what I was doing!"

"Calm down now, or I'll never come here again Oberon," I tell him with a voice that's not mine. "I am not a replacement for your mother!" I felt invisible eyebrows raise. I realized I was in a spat between the one who called me mother and the one who found me and now I nestled inside of her. I am flooded with memories of her and him together, outside of the forest, and I shut them out quickly before I see too much of their intimacy. A secret in her, I don't think he knows my piece of me is inside her. I don't think she knows either.

Then there's a storm, and I am up in the sky with him. I am injured and feel myself fading. I use the tiniest piece of me to keep the person my son loved alive until I feel completely numb to the world. No pain but no comfort. I couldn't tell if time had passed either.

"Why?" I whisper with my own voice into the abyss.

"You are losing yourself because your soul shattered," a voice calls out. I see a person floating in front of me but some parts of them blurred. I could only focus on her eyes first, teal blue and wide. The her small pink lips and her pointed ears with a cascading hair pearlescent glowing like her skin. "If you stop remembering you'll disappear completely." I didn't know why she so familiar, until I realize she was me.

"My name is Lilliume," I tell her and she nods, "I am a goddess of the wishing star." She nods again.

"Do you remember your promise?" she asks. I shake my head, "You would be with him, always." I wonder who she was talking about.