The Last Of 𝓗𝓮𝓻 ིᖭ༏ᖫྀ 𝐸𝓁𝓁𝒾𝑒 𝒲𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝒶𝓂𝓈

CHRISTMAS

MONTH: DECEMBER: SEASON: WINTER

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AS DINA and I walked to the Tipsy Bison for dinner; my boots crunching in the snow aided my mind, keeping me sane against the contrasting, rapid-fire words that spit from my lips.

"Fuck Cat, fuck her stupid tattoos, and fuck her wack-ass haircut. Like, come on, we're in a fucking apocalypse, and she's the only one who has fucked up hair; that says a lot. Should've been my first red flag."

Dina's next to me as she laughs, being a good friend and offering me support. We are covered head to toe in winter clothes, and our puffer jackets are humorous. I continue to rant about Cat, words gushing out of my mouth with no end in sight. Speaking about it was my only solace for the past few days.

'I think I'm still in shock.'

"I can't believe she did this to me. I've fucking known her my entire life—and did you know she hit on me?! I never even bothered to look at Cat."

"Yup, I know." Dina sighs, staring ahead. "You've told me. Plus, I was there."

"Right," I say, gazing down.

I knew Dina was fed up with my ranting. I hadn't stopped talking for three days because I was so pissed.

No, I was more than pissed; I was fucking enraged.

But most importantly, I was hurt.

That night continues to haunt me: Cat and her inebriated state, the lump in my throat when I knew it was true.

Ellie's face when I walked away...

'Fuck them both.'

Even though I talked openly about how I felt about Cat, I never mentioned Ellie. Just the sound of her name in the air felt like someone stabbed me in the chest. And that feeling made me never want to speak about or to her again. And that's what sucked the most about all of this; I had been vulnerable, and because of that, I had been played. I trusted someone I had only known for less than a year, someone who had swooped in and stolen my heart when it should never have been hers in the first place. I should've stuck to my gut. 'Never trust strangers,' especially dorky ones with a lovely smile and daddy issues.

"I'm sorry, D. I'll stop talking about Cat."

"No," Dina exhales, shaking her head. "I'd rather you get it out now with me instead of you going out there and finding something or someone to kill. Five minutes of quiet, though, that would be nice."

I nod, offering her a smile, which she returns. If it weren't for Dina these past few days, Jackson would've probably been set on fire.

'Joking!'

I'd never set Jackson on fire. Just Cat's house, maybe Ellies shed... but I don't think I could get away with it; Joel would kill me before I had a chance.

I start fidgeting, wanting to say more but resisting the temptation. Shit-talking was the only way I could cope and deal with all of this. Either that or I'd cry, as I did for the first two nights at D's.

She was patient, though. She listened to every word and wiped every tear, putting on our favorite movies and letting me spill my guts until my throat ran dry.

I hear her sigh next to me, unable to tolerate my twitching. "Fine, Joss, keep going."

I let out a breath of relief and resumed my rambling. "It's just fucking ridiculous, like, why Cat of all people? The one who screamed loyalty at me all year! I just can't believe I ever believed a word she said. The fucking betrayal is unreal."