Hold Me Close

Part II

My eyes crack open early in the morning. I hear soft breaths next to me, feeling the rise and fall of Peeta's chest against my side. I nuzzle deeper into Peeta's chest as I close my eyes yet again, praying for a few more precious moments of sleep. For a moment I forget about all my worries; all that matters is the sleeping young man next to me. For the first time in what seems like decades I can finally say that I am truly content and calm. Soon, sleep finds me again and I drift into a deep, dreamless sleep.
"Katniss, oh Katniss. Time to get up." I hear a singsong voice coo as I rub my eyes and make a soft grunt noise.
"Five...more minutes..." I mutter, rolling onto my back.
"I'm afraid that if we don't get up we'll miss breakfast. Haymitch just came and told me a second ago to wake you up." Peeta says as I open my eyes and meet his blue ones. A smile covers his face. His hair is wet and I can tell he has taken a shower. It dawns on me that it could've been his first real shower in months. "I forgot how peaceful I slept when I laid next to you." He says wistfully.
"Me too. I had the best sleep in months, for sure." I reply.
"Really? No others helped you through the night?"
I immediately know that this is Peeta's way of asking about my current relationship with Gale. He asking if Gale was there to help me through the pain I have been feeling. He did help me, but all his advances towards me romantically were not accepted. It pains me to know that Peeta still doesn't trust me fully. But who could blame him? I've put this poor boy through so much emotional pain and confusion that of course he wouldn't know if he could really put his faith in me.
Yet again, I catch myself being selfish.
"Nope. And if I have it my way, hopefully nobody else but you ever will." I answer, trying my best to get my main point across.
"I can't believe it's really you, that you're really here with me, Katniss. It's to good to be true." I smile, nodding my head before a thought pops into my head.
"Peeta, why do you keep mentioning how 'it's really me'? Who else would it be?" I question.
"I- when-" Peeta's face changes quickly into a look of sadness. "In- in the Capitol-" The mental pain he is seemingly going through compels me to urge him to stop talking, but he continues, "In the Capitol they- they-" Peeta falls into tears. How sobs into his hands and I wrap my arms around him.
"Peeta, shhhh. It's okay. And don't feel the need to tell me about what happened just yet if you aren't comfortable." I mutter, as he continues to cry.
This is the most emotion out of a male I have ever witnessed. Sure, I've watched Peeta's disposition change when he talks about me during Capitol interviews and know the longing glances that he shot at me after the first games very well. But in no other situations have I seen him cry this frequently. I know that whatever I say will not stop his tears, so I become the rock he always was for me and hold him tightly while he weeps.
Soon, Peeta wipes his eyes and looks deeply into mine. The traces of red veins in the whites of his eyes are unmistakable. He calms down, then pulls me in for a long, deep kiss which I gladly accept and return powerfully. Adrenaline runs through my body, waking me up even more.
"I love you so much, Katniss." Peeta mutters against my mouth and raises his head back up to it's normal position. I smile whilst nodding, and the awkwardness that surrounded the time Gale had said he loved me and I had not returned the words was nowhere to be found.
I reach my hand out for Peeta's and he takes it in his. I rub the back of his hand with my thumb and then motion for him to follow me out the door. He plants a soft kiss on my forehead and we walk out together, feeling stronger than we had in a very long time.

Peeta and I reach the cafeteria after a long walk filled with many states from people all around us from the hospital wing. I guide him over to the line and we grab trays for our food. I notice that today's breakfast is bread pudding and a raisins.
All around us I hear whispers. Many people are gaping at the sight of Peeta, and a few shoot him dirty glances, still hung up on when he called for a cease fire in the Capitol. However, Peeta seems oblivious to the fact that everyones eyes in this entire room seem to be on him.
Once I reach Greasy Sae, the old woman from twelve that runs the whole kitchen and is passing out breakfast today, she can't help herself.
"Peeta Mellark? Is that really you?" She asks, her voice a tone of surprise.
"In the flesh." Peeta responds, smiling at a familiar face.
"How are you? You look bone thin, boy. I'm gonna give you a little extra, don't tell nobody.". Greasy Sae scoops an extra spoonful of bread pudding into Peeta's bowl.
"Thank you, Sae." Peeta responds. I grab my tray and grab Peeta's hand.
"Yes, thank you." I tell the old woman, and with that I lead Peeta to my usual table.
Gale, my Mom, Prim, Gale's family, Finnick, and Annie all sit around the table, having pleasant conversation.
As soon as Peeta and I arrive, it goes dead silent.
"Hi everybody." Peeta says, sitting next to Prim. I sit across from him, next to Gale.
"Hi Peeta!" Prim says excitedly. A few others say hi, and Gale's face stays stern until he too mutters a hello.
"How are you Peeta?" Gale's mom asks.
"I'm alright, I guess. Having Ka- all of you here helps." He responds, a slight blush on his cheeks. "Prim, how have you been?" Peeta questions.
"I'm good. Katniss got buttercup back for me when she went to District 12! I was so happy!" Prim babbles eagerly.
"Katniss went back to 12? Well, I think that she might have to go again with me." He smiles, running his hand through his blonde curls.
"Peeta, when are you and Katniss going to get married?" Prim asks.
I choke on my bread pudding. I turn to Gale, who looks calm, but inside is probably fuming.
"Well I guess we're still engaged, but anytime Katniss wants. Could be tomorrow, could be never. As long as we're together, I don't care." Peeta responds. I look him in the eyes and smile.
"Than I will be your sister! We'll be family, for real!" Prim smiles.
"Speaking of which, where are my family?"
Nobody says anything.
"Well, where are they?!" Peeta asks, already finished with his bowl of bread pudding. I spoon in a little extra from mine into his.
"Peeta, I'm so sorry. When the Capitol bombed District 12 after the Quell, I tried to get everyone out. I was looking for your family, but as soon as I saw the hovercrafts in the distance I grabbed whatever child was next to me and ran." Gale responds finally.
"They bombed District 12?" Peeta asks.
"Yes. After the arena broke when Katniss shot it."
"And my family got left behind?"
"I'm so sorry Peeta. It's all my fault." I cry, tears falling down my cheeks. I remember Mr. Mellark's constant smile, and how he always gave me extra rolls. I remember Wheat and Rye, Peeta's brothers, and how their smiles were so similar to Peeta's. My heart aches. They're gone. Because of me.
Peeta stands up, taking his tray.
"Peeta. Peeta?" I call, but he doesn't respond. He takes his tray to the trash and leaves. I don't know where he's going. I can't let him leave! I stand up, but Gale pulls on my arm.
"Katniss, do you know what they did to Peeta in the Capitol? Can you trust him?" Gale questions.
I look at him with a face of disgust and shock. "Peeta would never hurt me! Never! Unlike you, Gale!" I yell. "You act cold one day, than the next we're best friends. Are you on Coin's side or mine?" I ask him.
"Aren't they supposed to be the same thing?" He responds.
"This is exactly what I mean." And with that I grab my tray, go to the trash, and follow the direction I saw Peeta go.