Chapter Twelve
Right Person Wrong TimeThe air in the bedchamber was thick with the scent of lavender and the soft sighs of contentment. Lilith's fingers danced through the tangled chestnut waves of Eloise's hair, each stroke a soothing potion against the worry that gnawed at Eloise's heart. The warmth of Lilith's chest beneath her offered a sheer contrast to the chill in Eloise's bones.
Eloise's fingers traced the jagged lines on Lilith's thigh, a map of pain etched into the smooth skin. "Why, Lilith?" she whispered, her voice filled with a tenderness that masked the ache in her chest.
Lilith's gaze remained fixed on the ceiling, her voice a mere murmur. "My brain... it is an odd little thing"
Eloise lowered her head, placing gentle kisses on the scars, "How can i help?" she whispered, tilting her head up to capture Lilith's lips in a kiss.
Lilith pulled back, her eyes meeting Eloise's in an intensity that sent shivers down her spine. "Just never die" she breathed, her voice laced with endearment.
Eloise hugged Lilith tighter, her fingers digging into the fabric of her nightgown, and kissed her again. This time, the kiss was desperate, a plea for reassurance in the face of the uncertainty that gnawed at her.
"Lilith" Eloise pulled away, her breath catching in her throat, "Would you... would you ever marry me?"
The question hung in the air, heavy with the weight of a lifetime. Lilith's face remained impassive, her eyes mirroring the storm raging within her. "Maybe" she whispered, the word a whisper in the wind.
Eloise sat up, her heart a frantic drum against her ribs. "Maybe?" she repeated, her voice tight with fear. "What does that mean, Lilith?"
Lilith's gaze held Eloise's, her eyes a deep well of unspoken emotions. She reached up, her fingers brushing aside a stray strand of Eloise's hair. "Calm yourself" she murmured, her voice a soothing balm.
But Eloise couldn't calm. The fear that had lurked beneath the surface of her happiness erupted into a torrent of tears. "I will never...be good enough. Will i?" she choked out, her voice broken with sobs. "All because of her, a dead woman"
Tears welled in Lilith's eyes, mirroring the pain that mirrored Eloise's own. "Eloise don't" she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. "Leave her out of this"
Eloise grabbed Lilith's face, her fingers gripping her jaw with an almost desperate intensity. "I can't compete with a ghost, Lilith!" she cried, her voice tight with despair. "She haunts every corner of your heart"
Finally, the dam broke. Lilith's tears flowed freely, her voice a choked sob. "Amelia... her name is Amelia"
Eloise's hold on Lilith's face loosened, her eyes fluttering closed with the weight of the burden. She scrambled out of the bed, her movement jerky and abrupt. "Do you even truly love me?" she said, her voice hollow and brittle. "Or is Amelia the only one worthy of your love"
Lilith stumbled out of the bed, her own heart breaking at the accusation. "I do love you!" she shouted, the pain in her voice making her own voice tremble. "Being in love with you feels like flying, like i can touch the moon and command the stars. Amelia haunts my heart, yes. But you Eloise Bridgerton...you rule it"
"Then marry me Lilith!" Eloise cried.
Lilith stood still, allowing her tears to roll down her porcelain cheeks. "I-" she paused, looking down at her bare feet. "Be patient with me love, i just need time"
Eloise stared at her, a frown slowly forming on her lips. "Fine" she said, her voice cold and distant, "My time in Scotland should give you plenty of time to decide if you will marry me or not" then, she turned on her heels.
The gentle creak of the floorboards under her hesitant steps filled the silence. As she reached the door, a cold hand shot out, catching her arm like a spider web.
"Go to the moon for me...okay?" Lilith choked, biting back a sob.
Tears welled in Eloise's eyes, hot and stinging. They spilled down cheeks, leaving shimmering trails on her skin. "I will do anything for you" she sniffled, forcing herself to meet Lilith's gaze, to imprint her love into those glacial depths. "Goodbye Lilith" with one final agonizing smile, she stumbled out of the room.
Lilith sank to the floor as she watched her leave. The tears she desperately held back finally flowed. They came in a torrent, echoing the despair that consumed her. She didn't know when she would see Eloise again, or how long she would have to endure this agonizing distance.
"What have i done" Lilith sobbed quietly, leaning over and resting her forehead on the cold wooden floor.
Eloise wouldn't possibly move on...would she?